|Reviews for Unforgivable|
| MrsPeelWe'reNeeded chapter 1 . 6/16/2009
A great story. Very good.
| i read online chapter 1 . 8/3/2008
I really like this piece. I just finished watching season 3, and this really fits well. I like how you started with Dee's POV during the reading of the will, and used her to show other people's reactions in addition to revealing her own thoughts. Going back to pre-attack Galactica and showing the Starbuck - Dee interactions... and then that final line was so well put - that she'd known Kara longer than Lee. The New Caprica conversation... so hard. Then the final section, and Dee's thoughts on her relationship and how it wasn't Kara's fault... You don't make Dee much more likable to me, especially since she's blaming Lee, but you do make her interesting. I appreciate that.
On the constructive side, there was one bit that I found confusing: "Lee, who she barely knew any more, who was defending Gaius Baltar in court, apparently because he could, and because it would make his father angry, Lee, she realized was furious." I had to reread that a couple of times. I like how you put it together but it needed another break or another kind of punctuation at the end... I think you mean something like this: "Lee - who she barely knew any more, who was defending Gaius Baltar in court, apparently because he could and because it would make his father angry - Lee, she realized, was furious." But I wasn't 100% sure.
| saphirerae chapter 1 . 6/30/2008
Nice story, I like how you jumped back and forth in the timeline.
| Mariel3 chapter 1 . 3/19/2007
I really, really liked this. Although I felt as though you kind of got off track with the Joe's Bar scene, the ending...wow. It was perfect. Good for Dee. And a perfect progression of realisation. Thanks for posting!