|Reviews for Harry Potter and the Ninja Kitsune|
| Make war not love. war is fun chapter 9 . 12/14/2013
| TroyWeb chapter 1 . 4/30/2011
This is the beginning of a good story. Your main character has a very practical approach to dealing with problems. I like the way she used trust me charms to talk the Dursleys into giving up custody of Harry. Nothing to overdramatic, just very straight forward.
| Bane WolfBlood chapter 9 . 4/25/2010
Really good please update soon!
| Gaga's little monSTAR chapter 9 . 2/20/2010
please continue is she going to teach him Japanese?
| jgood27 chapter 9 . 12/14/2009
love this story, please update soon
| Jinx chapter 5 . 8/2/2008
I read that you didn't know much japanese? I can a little if you want help, it's not much but I can form a few sentences in japanese. Also it's only if you want... Even though there is a few authors on this site that know more, I have their names in my favorite author folder when I'm logged in, and they might help too.
Usually i would suggest you look on anime with japanese and english subtitle if you don't understand the language I mean (which you obviusly don't)
I'm not the best writer myself and I know you have a couple of chapters i need to read before I actually give advice but anyway... so you'll have to wait until then.
| Senyor Fier Mensheir chapter 9 . 5/6/2008
Simply wonderful. I wouldn't mind reading it again, with the hopeful addition of a new chapter.
| Master DK chapter 9 . 4/14/2008
| SergeantMeow chapter 9 . 4/7/2008
Count me impressed. I make it a personal rule to avoid any and all stories with OCs as main characters in them, but this was...different. I can't quite put my finger on why. Perhaps it's the fact that Liska's motives for interfering in the life of a main character were actually plausible, or maybe it's the fact that the point of view comes from Harry at just the right moments, but I like her. I've only ever liked one Original Character in any fic I've ever read, but now I guess I have two. I would suggest, though, to be careful with these "voices" you introduced at the end of chapter nine. How many people actually hear solid, individual voices in their heads that converse with them, as opposed to their own inner monologue? I would say the number is extremely low. Lots of people will tell you that their personally created characters "talk" to them, like when they RP. I've said it myself, a few times. That phrase is very seldom uttered in a literal sense, however. It is normally construed to mean that you know a character so well that you can think as they would. But to have an actual voice speaking in your head, unwanted to the point that you have to actively "ignore" it? Sounds like a form of dissociative identity disorder, or schizophrenia. And that is VERY much so a Mary Sue trait. I think Liska was so endearing and refreshing to read because she wasn't infallible. She was human(...as human as a Kitsune can be). She was good in her own areas of magic, but weak in others. She could perform death-defying acts of acrobatics to save a falling child (though a Levitation spell might have been quicker and easier), but she can still land awkwardly and injure herself. That makes her seem all the more real. But if you give her something rare like that, then it just serves to highlight how "special" she is, and that's not good.
Having said that, I do like this story and the direction it's heading. One thing you might want to embellish a little is the ninja aspect of Liska, though. The reader knows she can be stealthy, jump far, perform great feats of acrobatics, and utilize blades to great effect, but that...really doesn't tell us much about her true abilities. As of right now, I don't know whether to expect a future Harry that can walk on walls and use chakra, vanish from plain sight in a wide-open room utilizing only skill and the art of concealment and without using magic, move at speeds faster than most of the other students would even be able to comprehend moving at, or...any of that Naruto ninja stuff, or if to expect a future Harry that excels at magic and who can jump well, perform feats of acrobatics, act stealthy, and use blades, like Liska. Basically what I'm saying is that you need to explore that side of her on a deeper level. I can't really offer any sound advice on how to do that, though, without there being some sort of life-threatening conflict, and that would probably throw a wrench in anything you've got planned. Don't let that deter you, though. The story is still fine as it is, but it just seems to be...lacking, in that area. More of a personal preference, really. It just doesn't seem right to have a character considered a "ninja" without going deeply into what all that entails.
In any case, I hope to read more soon, and this is going under my Story Alerts. I've read other fics where Harry is raised by different people, but this is turning out to be one of the most original, well-written versions I've found. You're especially good at writing from Harry's perspective, as you portray the mindset and attitudes of a five year old quite well.
| Raeigh chapter 9 . 2/4/2008
I love this story, can't wait for the next update!
| en extase chapter 1 . 1/25/2008
Firstly, an apothecary is a profession, superceded by the word pharmacist, making specialist following apothecary redundant.
Your story is actually well-written for the most part, but conceptually crippled into the literary equivalent of a leper.
A Harry Potter/Naruto crossover is very unlikely, but naturally doable. The thing is that the settings of Naruto isn't reconciled with that of Harry Potter.
That isn't the only problem. In the first chapter, you've introduced a weapon capable of deflecting the Killing Curse, and you've shown at least two characters from Naruto with knowledge of the ritual that would bring one of your antagonists power exceeding Voldemort.
From what I could gather, your minor antagonist recognized the AK-deflecting object, which brings up the question of "why hasn't it seen greater use"?
We have no indication of whether those two characters are the most powerful from Naruto, or the weakest. If I were to assume the worst, then the ritual that would enhance a person so as to surpass Voldemort is common knowledge.
Again, it is well-written, but with gaping flaws. It is that type of story that fails the hardest.
At this point, not even Jesus ca cure the leprosy plaguing your story.
| bill560682 chapter 9 . 1/14/2008
of course you do not want remus knowing harry is living with a werefox since remus considers harry part of his pack and her being harry's gaurdain would mean he is also part of her pack and that would no dout end up leading to a lot of blood shed for control over harry and who's pack is alpha. an that would be a very bad thing to happen pending you want remus to live that is.
| bill560682 chapter 7 . 1/13/2008
why dumbledore is having nothing to do with remus has nothing to do with has to do with the fact dumbledore has no need of a werewolf now that the war is over just like he has nothing to do with the weasely's if he did i am sure he could find aurther a better job for more money an not make it seem to be charity but the weasely's and remus have no money, power or authority so we just cast them aside until we need them again.
| bill560682 chapter 4 . 1/13/2008
hopefully harry gets sent to the school in japan and DOES NOT go to hogwarts for the triwizard tournament.
| yllom21 chapter 9 . 12/15/2007
This is a very interesting story. I love the charecters, and I love the entire Kitsune idea. Well done so far! I like how Harry acts his age, and I like the plot as of yet.