|Reviews for Lady Tamara Chamadis: A Series of Firsts|
| zedille chapter 3 . 3/16/2009
Interesting background of Tamara you have here! You've given depth to a character we really don't get that much of in canon. I'm stealing some of this for my personal canon and I hope you update sometime soon, this is amazing. It fits with what we know and it's believable, too. I likes. Update!
| Icelands chapter 3 . 9/9/2007
A terrific, descriptive chapter. Some tense confusion, but doesn't take away significantly from the story.
| pixie chapter 3 . 9/4/2007
| incandescience chapter 2 . 6/17/2007
i like the way that you present tamara's emotions and her interactions with characters - keep on writing! :)
| dropofsun2 chapter 2 . 5/8/2007
i'm from lj, anthanarel
it's good, good job, with tamara's emotions.
| Icelands chapter 2 . 5/1/2007
Once again, some repeating of phrases in the book...But good. Long chapters- they take a while to get through, but it works with what you're writing. Good job, keep writing!
| BrilliantSun chapter 2 . 4/24/2007
Good job! I'd love to see a lot more stories about everyone with your writing skills.
| rubic-cube chapter 2 . 4/23/2007
Oh! Wohoo! I have been waiting for you to update! Antoher great chapter...I think that you have captured Savona well and I like how he helped her out. more please!
| Icelands chapter 1 . 4/4/2007
Good, but a lot of use of cliches. (Can't do the accented "e") And familiar phrases. I.e. "Please bolster my declining prestige". Using the exact words another author uses doesn't look too good, especially if you're writing fanfiction for said author. Good quality, but some clumsy word usage. Some of the same words appear quite often within the same paragraph, and it takes away from your writing, which is actually quite good and grammatical error-free. A unique idea; I applaud you. Just work on fluency and word choice and it'll be much better! Update soon, and keep writing.
| me chapter 1 . 3/23/2007
You are a fantastic writer! My only advice is to maybe add more dialogue versus dwellig so much on a third person perspective. I hope you continue this story!
| rubic-cube chapter 1 . 3/22/2007
I think that this is a very good take and from a different angle as well! Would love to see Savano and Tamara flirting and see how she changes her attention to Danric! By the way if you disable your annoymous review thing in your account then I think more people would review becaus people are lazy at signing in! Update quickly can't wait for another chapter!
| FelSong chapter 1 . 3/21/2007
This is a very long first chapter. I must admit that I tend to make my first chapters short to test the waters first. So you're daring..
The descriptions are nice although you did make some mistakes with the details (eg. the colours of Remalna are deep green and brown at the mo).
Then there were certain phrsaes you used that jolted me back into reality such as "okay". Also, while I understand that Tamara didn't receive much affection from her mother, Chamadis senior did seem unnecessarily mean. It'd be nice if you could further explore the reasons behind her attitude towards her daughter.
Also, you could've gone into greater detail when she goes around flirting etc. Some dialogue there would be nice.
Okay...now that I've gotten the critique outta the way, the premise of this story is great if you can develop it as well as you promise with e first chapter. I also liked the fact that you brought in Nimiar and her mom, touching upon another dynamic there.
In short, keep it up and I hope this review helps...