|Reviews for Provenance|
| eoraptor chapter 1 . 7/1/2010
boooo for making me sniffle
| antlan87 chapter 1 . 3/10/2010
A bit sad, but interesting as well. Perhaps something to make mark the shifts in time would have helped a bit. That's the only thing that really comes to mind in terms of things that could be improved upon.
| Kay8abc chapter 1 . 12/13/2009
Very sad, but very good. i really like it.
| Ryukashy chapter 1 . 6/23/2009
Girl, you made my cry. Very touching story, so well written. Great work.
| Evillittlegurlie chapter 1 . 1/5/2008
Oh, my gosh. I literally cried when I read this. This is very well written. It was so bittersweet, especially Kim's death scene. I just hope I can learn to write like you.
Keep it up.
| Widows chapter 1 . 8/20/2007
Wow...I cried here...alot,this iz so sad omg I waz crying troughout almost the whole thing. LuV this story thanks for making and stuff,laterz.
| CastaS chapter 1 . 4/1/2007
great story, i enjoyed reading it.
| A Markov chapter 1 . 3/23/2007
You captured quite a bit of emotion in this. I'm not a big fan of death fics, but your portrayal of Ron's emotions was touching. I think this might have had more impact in the first person, but you were able to convey a good depth of emotion from the third person. The ending was spot on, hopeful without going over the top and being jarringly optimistic.
| beeftony chapter 1 . 3/22/2007
Provenance: n. Place or source of origin.
I looked up the title out of curiosity, and as far as I can tell, it relates to what I found to be the main theme of the fic: there is life after death, and while this is the end of an era, it's the beginning of a completely new one. In other words, Kim and Shego may have died, but the world keeps on spinning. Ron's closing monologue reflects the title best. This is the end of Kim and Shego's time on Earth, but it is the beginning of a new time in Ron's life. And Kim and Shego get to be together for all eternity. When one door closes, several others open.
For a story whose title means "origin," it's understandable that the narrative spends a lot of time in flashbacks. That's the second, and more obvious, way in which the title is a perfect fit. The narrative starts out in the present, with Ron's feelings, then goes and explains how those feelings originated. Alternating between past and present was a very nice touch, and the story flows very smoothly. Great job.
A third possible meaning behind the title has to do with the fact that the "present" scenes take place in a cemetary. Man was created from dust, and to dust he shall return. But if woman was created from man's ribs, where does she go when she dies? (excuse the lame joke) Of course, "man" means mankind, but I still thought that was amusing. It also works from a spiritual perspective. Kim has gone to heaven, the Kingdom of God, the creator of all things (This is, of course, my personal belief. Apologies if it conflicts with yours). Hopefully Shego has too.
Now that the title-interpretation is out of the way, we can get into the actual review. I love deathfics. Hell, I love angst in general. This story is a welcome break from the cliche of one lover dying and the other being left behind. The reason it's cliche is because people seem to think that they can only get angst by focusing on the lover who survives. But when the story is told from a third-party perspective, the emotion is more clearly felt in many ways because we as the audience feel similarly disconnected from the relationship, but at the same time we have a small part in it. I think my point is illustrated best when Ron finds himself unable to imagine what Kim is going through. He may not be able to experience it on the same level, but he is still deeply affected. So am I. By making the story Ron-centric, you have established a deep connection with the audience. Very nicely done.
Speaking of Ron, I'm glad to see that you haven't gone the traditional route of "jealous ex-boyfriend" or "clueless court jester" that so many authors seem to take. His friendship with Kim hasn't changed a bit, and Shego is growing on him. It's a very believable premise, which I would love to see in another story that doesn't involve character death. He feels like a fully developed character, not just cheap comic relief. He's there for Kim no matter what, and this sudden turn of events simply devastates him. Ron carries the weight of the world on his shoulders willingly, blaming himself for things no one could have seen coming. You stayed true to his character, and for that I congratulate you.
Kim and Shego's relationship feels underdeveloped and more like a secret fling, seeing as only Ron knows about it. Rather than detract from the believability of the fic, however, this actually heightens the angst since their relationship had so much potential, only to be so cruelly cut short. Unrequited love is a bitch. At least they're together in the afterlife.
Fate has a huge sense of irony. The fact that it's not Kim, Ron, or anyone else that kills Shego, but Drakken, the man who employed her and stuck with her through everything, is the one who ends up accidentally killing her with one of his inventions. That's a horrible way to go. And she didn't even get to say goodbye. At least it was quick.
Kim's reaction to Shego's death was totally in-character. It would have been in-character even if she and Shego hadn't been girlfriends because of the bond they share, not to mention that Kim is the type who would go ballistic if somebody was killed. It's the end of innocence, and all bets are off. Drakken's reaction was in-character as well. He never realized how serious the consequences of his actions could be, and when reality strikes, he goes into shock. Very nicely done.
Dementor is similarly egocentric to the point where he doesn't understand that killing is wrong, but unlike Drakken, he revels in the consequences. Ron's reaction is completely in-character, as he isn't the type to completely lose it. Instead, as you said, his need to be with Kim outweighs his desire for revenge. Kim may be able to do anything, but Ron is willing to do anything for her. Her death was bittersweet and highly emotional. I almost cried. Very good message, too. Kim isn't afraid of death, and I like that you stayed true to Ron's tendency to want Kim to find happiness, even if that means sacrificing his own. He accepts the fact that she's going to a better place, and he doesn't try to force her to live what would be an unfulfilled life without Shego. Instead, he's willing to let her go. Very emotional.
For a story that dwells so much on the past, I like that you ended on a high note with Ron's monologue. This isn't the end; it's the beginning. I like a story that can have my heart breaking one moment, then swelling with pride the next. I'd love to see this continued.
It was hard to sum up exactly how I felt about this story, and I hope I did it justice with my review. Take it easy.
| shamz chapter 1 . 3/22/2007
absolutely beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes.