|Reviews for An Unexpected Alliance|
| Stacie chapter 14 . 1/21/2008
Another fabulous chapter. I love the interaction between Minerva, Pomona and Severus, thankfully they’re looking out for her and got her back on track again. I can’t wait to find out how Umbridge reacts to the latest round of events both in and out of Hogwarts I also like her verbal sparring with Minerva, she’s always so convinced that as high inquisitor everyone will bow down to her wishes and yet Minerva manages to knock her down with just a few words and make it seem perfectly reasonable – and not even Umbridge will argue with the diagnosis of Madam Pomfrey
Looking forward to the next chapter.
| alix33 chapter 14 . 1/20/2008
When I arrived at work on Friday afternoon (about 15:00 Central African Time), there was a note in my email notifying me of an II upgrade that our head office's IT guys were going to start at 01:00 Saturday morning.
Then I worked the whole rest of the arfternoon and evening and only got around to reading this chapter between midnight Friday and 01:00 Saturday.
However, the moment it turned 01:00 my incredibly lengthy and detailed review was done, BUT then the IT guys disconnected our internet connections to start their upgrade thingy and the whole of my review was thus lost!
Thus I now have to re-read this chapter (which is no hardship at all) and try and reconstruct fully, my incredibly lengthy and detailed review of Friday night (which is a major hardship).
"The clock above on the mantle struck twelve" - So, is the clock above the mantle or on it? Or above McG's head, but on the mantle? I'm confused!
"Now clad in the muggle skirt and blouse" - my initial mental pic after reading that phrase, was of a somewhat drab skirt and blouse, similar to the ones say Catholic nuns of some of the orders would wear when they are among people who aren't in any religious order. I SO hope I'm wrong, though, and that it is a very stylish muggle skirt and blouse indeed!
"She tapped it with her wand gently, sending a volley of sparks toward which then singed several strands of her hand as they rebounded off the hat at twice the original speed." shouldn't this be: 'She tapped it with her wand gently, sending a volley of sparks toward her which then singed several strands of her hair as they rebounded off the hat at twice the original speed.'
"but he’s been especially introverted.”" - not an especially easy mental pic to conceive: an introverted Weasley (except Weasley, but if you were to open your wizarding English dictionary at 'prat', his pic is there. More about your wizarding English dictionary later).
"Her bare feet made no sound against the stone floor and she glanced at the various portraits as she passed," - McG barefoot is another difficult mental pic to get to see.
"The Head of Gryffindor yawned again and sank into the sofa, lying down and placing her feet on the armrest. Her feet stuck out over the edge by a foot-or-so but she still amazingly comfortable." - My sofa is also like that: about a foot too short, but SO comfortable nonetheless!
"Pomona placed a paperweight on the rather substantial pile of parchment" - wouldn't parchment get a 'parchmentwight' placed on it, rather than a 'paperweight'?
"grabbing a blanket that was draped over the armchair. “Sleep here, tonight, Min,” she said, covering Minerva in the woolen green fabric." - The 'woolen green fabric': is it as soft as a muggle mohair blankie? or the softest fur imaginable of some magical creature?
"so I let you crash on the couch." - Nice, but probably unintended irony, considering McG crashed OFF it upon waking up!
"after-thought" - About that wizarding English dictionary I mentioned earlier: My muggle 1991 edition of the Concise Oxford Dictionary spells that word as 'afterthought', but if your obviously more authoritative wizarding English dictionary hyphenates it, then I bow to its superior authority.
"She arched her back, cracking her vertebrae (Severus and Pomona both eyed her distastefully) from her lower back and upward and shrugged her shoulders back in a slow circle, waking her tight muscles." - They quite obviously do not understand that it is McG's feline animagus that necessitates or even mandates a stretch like that.
"chided Pomona with glance at Severus who inclined his head toward her in a sanctimonious fashion" - shouldn't this be: 'chided Pomona with a glance at Severus who inclined his head toward her in a sanctimonious fashion'?
" "It's that Umbridge woman," the Founder said." - I LOVE how Helga, Rowena and Godric make no secret of the fact that they HATES Dolores Umbridge's gutses!
placing her coffee on the table... complete with a steaming cup of coffee in her hand" - when did McG pick up the cup of coffee again, then?
" "Susan Bones and Hannah Abbot have failed to hand in the past three essays," " - I just Googled the spelling of Hannah Abbott's name as you have it in the quoted bit (170 instances), while the spelling with two t's gets more than 540 instances.
"sounding quite sorry (Minerva wasn't fooled.)" - I'm not fooled either, LOL!
" "I was a very mature three-year old." "Then you're a very immature adult," " - Both of those sentences are true of me too! I LOVE having things in common with McG!
"molly-coddled." - See my note above on 'after-thought'.
"feather-bedding attentions," - I LOVED this turn of phrase of yours so much that I made a note of your use of it in my work notebook on Friday already. I only wish I had occasion to borrow it.
"piles of precariously perched parchment" - ditto this alliteration!
"all muggle-born witches and wizards and have them basically made a lesser citizen with rights that match a house-elfs and naught else." - shouldn't this be: 'all muggle-born witches and wizards and have them basically made a lesser citizen with rights that match a house-elf's and naught else.'?
"in shifts we take poly-juice potion at least once a week and masquerade as a Ministry employee." - Regarding 'poly-juice potion', see my note above on 'after-thought'.
"Minerva gave a mock toast with her cup of milk (there had been the usual sniggers when she’d asked the house-elf for it)" - Why do they snigger at McG's milk-drinking habit? While I don't down pints of the stuff myself either, I sometimes empty my little china jug of cold milk into my empty coffee cup and then drink it after I had coffee in a coffee shop.
"(she didn’t want the student body having heart attacks all around)" - and they would indeed have had heart attacks by the number at the sight of McG's funky shoes, red top and blue jeans.
"“Oh, desert!” she said happily," - According to my muggle English dictionary (mentioned in my note above on 'after-thought') the 'desert' is the sometimes sandy, inhospitable place, while 'dessert' is the pudding.
"she loved house-elfs so very much.)" - shouldn't this be: 'she loved house-elves so very much.)'?
"she was unceremoniously into a hidden hall even she didn’t know about." - shouldn't this be: 'she was unceremoniously thrust into a hidden hall even she didn’t know about.' or 'she was unceremoniously bundled into a hidden hall even she didn’t know about.'?
"the pair of pink high-heels" - shouldn't this be: 'the pair of pink high heels'?
" “Most of the castle is being watched by Aurors who with Filch’s help know a great number of hidden passage ways." shouldn't this be: '“Most of the castle is being watched by Aurors who with Filch’s help know a great number of hidden passageways.'?
" “The meetings only just started,” " - shouldn't this be: 'The meeting's only just started,'?
"you were than happy to be with me.” " - shouldn't this be: 'you were more than happy to be with me.'?
I feel desperately sorry for McG as well as for Sirius after their quarrel.
And this chapter was lovely, not boring at all!
| Starkiller chapter 1 . 1/20/2008
Instantly favourite-ed! I'm also linking to it on my deviantart club (xDrop-Dead-Fred). I'm currently searching out well-written, non-depressing Fred fics - you'd be surprised how hard they are to come by...).
| DailyProphetEditor chapter 14 . 1/19/2008
You're back on track. For a while I had this impression that you did not quite know where you wanted to go with this fic, you know, if it was a humor or romance or both, and then there were all those serious/Sirius bits about past relationships and, of course, Marcus.
But I liked this chapter. Good dialogues, a good way of character development as Minerva decides to take action and also to take care of herself again. Keep it up, I want to see where this is going!
| misshoneychurch88 chapter 14 . 1/19/2008
Fab! Keep going, this is one of my faves!
| tazzie21 chapter 14 . 1/19/2008
yeah new chapter! The plan against Umbridge is so cool :]
| AdamiRose chapter 14 . 1/19/2008
Ooh, Faboo as always Dahling!
Keep up the good work Deary~
| callmeGreen-Eyes chapter 14 . 1/19/2008
alright then. i'm not entirely sure how i feel about this chapter, but i know i liked it. it's more of a 'i'm not sure how to react' because of all the different things that happened.
update soon! with more attacks on umbridge!
| FloatingWithoutPurpose chapter 14 . 1/18/2008
This chapter was amazing! Min is so devious, I love it!
| lordtrayus chapter 14 . 1/18/2008
This story is brilliant! And its nice to see McGonagall from a new angle. Please keep writing!
| Pipsky chapter 14 . 1/18/2008
loved it! can you update again soon?
| XChocolateChipX chapter 14 . 1/18/2008
Gladly. I love it!
| I play wid fir3 chapter 14 . 1/17/2008
Um...I went to Wikipedia, but...who is 'Patricia'?
| Jen2281 chapter 14 . 1/17/2008
i love everything you write and miss your stories. please keep updating and writing.
| MidniteWriter15 chapter 14 . 1/17/2008
oh wow. im really loveing the story. please continue.