Reviews for Hit List
Magicians Hat chapter 1 . 3/11/2012
To a person named 'Rytex':



- adjective 1. homosexual 2. merry 3. bright

If your iPod was being 'gay', then it was being merry, bright, or homosexual. I hope you choose the one that isn't offensive and otherwise mean to use out of context.

Have a nice day.
winged sapphire wolf chapter 19 . 3/9/2012



Sapphire: Sorry about that. She just shocked. But this was the BEST story we have ever read. We can't wait for the sequel.

Crystal and Ashley: Yeah!

All three: BEST STORY EVER! Please hurry with a sequel. THANK YOU!
jj chapter 16 . 3/9/2012
Hello, I really loved your story. I'm bad reviewing... so I noticed one mistake in this:

for example in chapter 16, Zelda's last name is Harkinian, but in 19 she is called Ms. Nohansen?
Unicorns D chapter 1 . 3/7/2012
See you whenever you decide to stop being a hermit. That's my favourite part XD I love thi fanfiction an I nearly cried when it ended. Like, "it's over? THE WORLD HAS ENDED!" that was basically me, except I read the final chapter at 2 in the morning so I punched a wall.
Mugen Kagemaru chapter 19 . 3/3/2012
Ha ha, I would subscribe, had I an account, or, frankly, a reason to make one. Dropping reviews and dodging Anon barriers is not good enough reason for me to get an account.

If you're on YouTube, we might not need this back-and-forth we have going on. I'm "TheEndlessWarlock" on there.
btalley13 chapter 19 . 3/3/2012
Ha! I KNEW that pineapple was a Psych reference! And I guess Link isn't a brony, huh? Oh well, that would have been interesting. And the entire time I was reading the end of Link's speech, I had "Don't You Forget About Me" playing in my head. Even if it was unintentional, that speech screamed "Breakfast Club". Well done, sir. Well done. And great story.

Sent from my iPod touch via Pocket Fiction
Tetraforce chapter 16 . 2/28/2012
I am sorry to say this.

First of all:

I REALLY did love every aspect to your story from Ganon's thugs being sarcastic to each other to the rat tag kids running down the halls to the way the Officers responded to each other.

Who would've thought Shiek would've shot Zant or the bleech episode would happen to Vaati?

Who would've expected Colin to come out a hero after being a coward by giving away the police frequency codes?

I adored even the slow chapters that you said you hated as it provided a breather and a chance to know the characters better which I covered in the paragraph above but THIS is where I don't like Zelda fanfic authors making the same old story over and over again.

For once can't SOMEBODY in this world do a plot twist instead of having Link always going in alone to save Zelda from Ganondorf at the same bat channel, same bat station?

I KNEW right away that Link was going to go in alone so why can't you throw in a surprise to keep us shocked instead of making the ending predictable?

Here is what I predict the ending to be like:

I betcha what's going to happen is Link goes up to the 3rd floor alone and they have some kind of gun battle which Zelda winds up holding Ganon down causing Link to make a choice of either killing him or letting him live to be arrested.

Then Ganon pulls out his hidden knife and takes a mad swing towards Link only for Zelda to cause him to miss and then the Officers storm the room making everybody go to the ground which the officers do the final take down take down.

Right before the take down Ganon will lunge at Officer Rusl causing him to be injured some how before Ganon is finally subdued for good.

Zelda will say something about Ganondorf's selfishness before he is hauled to the pokey and everyone will cheer while Link feels embarrassed. Colin will feel sick the entire time for his betrayel though I am not sure how Shiek's ending will be.

Sure this kind of ending is fun once. Maybe even twice but by the third time it's like...left overs again? YUCK!

Or like a broken record going over and over and over and over and over and over and...well you get the idea right? :) We want a new story. Maybe even a new villain.

Like I said: Right up to the predictable ending I really enjoyed the wild ride as I had NO idea what was going to happen other then I knew Link was somehow going to go up there alone.

I admit though I am surprised that it took this long for Zelda to be taken hostage as I expected that 2 chapters ago for Link to go running up alone.

I still really expected better from you from the way you wrote the other chapters and maybe you will surprise me once again and I will eat crow.

In that case ignore my rant if it's not the same old Ocarina of Time battle with guns.
btalley13 chapter 9 . 2/28/2012
That us a lot of movie references. It's weird to see real movies in a completely fictional world.

Sent from my iPod touch via Pocket Fiction
Kyle chapter 14 . 2/28/2012
Ignore my part about the tear gas. I read the officers have them strapped but the little robotic cameras they could've sent in to scan the area.

Also use infared heat sensors to look for any hidden people whom would show up as bright white though objects that emit heat would show up as well.
Kyle chapter 14 . 2/28/2012
You know what' so funny about this chapter?

Officer Rusl could've sent in a robot camera instead and Ganondorfs henchmen in their tempers would probably shoot it out confirming to Rusl that their are shooters inside the cafeteria.

Robot cameras are standard equipment in a SWAT teams arsenal and so is tear gas launchers which they could've blasted to the third floor office in between the bars on the window using a sharp shooter. .

Those tear gas canisters are VERY powerful unless the henchmen were smart and equipped themselves with gas masks and where is the news helicopter anyways that should be hovering over the school reporting 24/7?

"This is Hyrule News reporting..."
Kyle chapter 13 . 2/27/2012
"Then we'll just have to hide you in the basement."

"Your basement is creepy. And it smells."

"You'll get over it."

Odd. I thought Shiek would LOVE basement type places where he can be in the shadows to meditate or whatever...
Kyle chapter 11 . 2/27/2012
Your bus scene made up for the lack of action and I liked the conversation between Link and Ganon about the fairy tale Triforce and the cycle they are stuck.

Ganondorf has good ideas to unit the Triforce but murdering innocents to get it will only bring back karma keeping his spirit trapped from raising in higher vibrations.

If one of them could get out of their bonds then the whole cycle will stop and Hyrule can finally be at peace.

All it takes is a raising of owns own conscience to realize the cycle and to try to break it by learning the lessons that need learning.

If the Goddesses enjoy Link and Ganon fighting then THEY are the ones that are the sickos for enforcing the Triforce cycle and I will do what it takes to knock them off their throne as they don't deserve their power but I am going to give them the benefit of doubt.
Rytex chapter 19 . 2/27/2012
I would log in, but my iPod is being gay right now, so I'll have to settle with my UN on an anonymous review.

I'll be honest, I read this story to around Chapter 15, but then I completely forgot about this story until today. Woke up and there was a shooting in Ohio somewhere, and it clicked to reread this. I loved it, Bravo.

What's the title of the sequel, by chance? Just PM user Rytex the answer, if it's been posted, and if not, well, I'll know what to search for.

If you've beaten Skyward Sword, I must ask if Ghirahim's Master makes an appearance by the end of this series. I think it's be nice to see him, I mean, Ghirahim's appearing and all. And that means Fi. And that means "Master, the batteries in your Wii remote are low."

All in all, 10/10, keep up the good work.
Kyle chapter 10 . 2/24/2012
"Shad opened his mouth to argue, probably to explain the actual steps that would lead up to that happening, but Zelda cut him off.

"No, no excuses. The both of you are getting out of here, now."

"Really?" Said Ashei sarcastically, "You wouldn't happen to have an exit in the pocket of that hoodie of yours now would you?"

You know what they need? They need an Exit Mouse from the Earthbound video game and I think takes you to the exit of any building. At least it does with every cave and maze which this high school technically is one.
Kyle chapter 9 . 2/24/2012

I once had a bomb threat at my high school but it was fake and I pretty much knew it was fake because if someone is going to blow up a school why would they warn about it?

That would defeat the purpose of putting everybody into chaos since know they know bout it and can do something about it.

I LOVE how your story was realistic where there was no phone calls ahead of time warning the staff something *catastrophic* would happen to their school because NO school incidents have EVER been warned about and never will be.

Sometimes you can detect clues if you know the person about to do the shooting but there will never be any official warning and any warnings will be fake just to get attention by some idiot like the people who jump off brides on television for their 15 mins of fame.

People need to evaluate the level of threats before deciding to create chaos and assume the worst case scenario which often times isn't healthy nor realistic.

If a Columbia style incident EVER EVER happens again the school targeted will most certinatly NOT be warned ahead of time unless the person doesn't have the guts to pull it off and does it to ask for help.
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