Reviews for Hit List
RightArmCannon chapter 17 . 8/9/2013
If you slash at someones chest with a knife, you'll hit ribs. You have to STAB to get to the heart.
6teenana1 chapter 19 . 8/6/2013
Your story was amazing. gotta start of by saying that.
Your writing did improve a heck of a lot as you went along, and don't take that the wrong way. You were good to start out with, but what improved was your character portrayal and development. When the story started out, everyone could kind of be described with one word (example: Zelda is nice), but by the end, everyone was a well-developed character. The way you wrote fight/suspense scenes also improved, and besides maybe getting someone to just do other final checks for you before you post, I'd say everything was good. You just occasionally had a sentence that ended in both a period and a comma, or you would have "sowing" instead of "sewing," so nothing big.
The plot in this story was so so good, and you kind of managed to somehow balance in humor that actually fit and worked during the school shooting (although my favorite that had me near hyperventilation was "Woman! I have a hole in my stomach!" or whatever he yelled at Midna XD). Speaking of balance, the magic and stuff worked so well in the modern setting! Like zomg. so good.
I just checked the update date on this and saw that you finished it a year ago. I know you mention here you were thinking of doing a sequel, and I hope that you still plan to! I'm super excited for what you have planned. Also, before I forget, I love Kafei and Sheik. They were so frackin' great. And the pineapple. PYSCH-Os UNITE! I don't have a title suggestion, unfortunately. It takes me too long to come up with chapter titles, let alone story titles XD I hope you're doing well! Great story! Post again soon!
Twilightgamer chapter 19 . 7/23/2013
Awesome work! Lol I love the way how Links last name is Hero. And that you used every zelda character in the Zelda games. I really liked thos Fanfiction because you really made it sound like if it was happening in real life! When the bomb part came, my brain started to make me hear bombs going off. But still. Awesome work. This, for what I have to say in a something over 10 rating, THIS fanfiction deserves at 10 out of 10 rating!.
ElwayGuy7 chapter 19 . 7/14/2013
Great story. You managed to combine action, a Modern Hyrule AU setting and characters with the story of the Triforce to create an awesome work of fiction. It was riveting to read, and you even including hints of romance! Honestly, the only thing that could have made it better was attention to plot consistency. For instance, "Turning to the next goddess, Zelda examined Farore with interest. As though to counteract Din's serious expression, Nayru seemed as though she was having fun. Her body was drawn as though she were dancing, her viridian hair twirling around her in carefree ribbons, her face the very picture of delight." You confused Nayru with Farore in that case. Also, Zelda's last name changed 3 or 4 times from Harkinian to Nohansen and back. Just be careful and consistent. Also, a few minor grammar mistakes, but nothing major. I think a beta-reader would've caught those consistency mistakes, so consider getting one if you don't have one already.

Anyway,
Keep Writing!

elwayguy7
ElwayGuy7 chapter 4 . 7/14/2013
Nice title! Plot is extremely riveting, and I can't wait to read the next chapter. Very different from past Modern Hyrule AU stories i've read. Sheik? Evil? What?

Great story, and Keep Writing!

elwayguy7
Renlynn chapter 19 . 5/8/2013
This story was really good. I absolutely loved it! C: You're a really good writer, even if you think some of your chapters sucked :P They didn't. I think it was all well written and amazingly awesomely wonderful.
RandomButLoved chapter 19 . 5/4/2013
This is soo amazing! I never saw any of it coming! I hope that you do the sequal to this soon because I will read it! So many good fighting scenes and story plot-twists I love it soo much! I'm going to keep reading this until it gets boring (which it never will!)
I love this so much! :)
Spiritual Stone chapter 1 . 4/18/2013
I stayed up a whole night just to finish reading this. Thank you so much for the fantastic read!
A Shadow's Lament chapter 19 . 4/2/2013
Holy crap, that was incredible. I feel like being that kid in "The Incredibles" who shouts - "That was totally wicked!" with a lovely flabbergasted expression. Seriously, you rock socks.

The emotional build up was flawless, the concept was genius, the execution was perfect. I couldn't fault this even if I wanted to, which hey, guess what, I dont. The darkness from the theme always hung in their air and that takes skill as even when you weren't describing the scene, I could easily imagine the sheer panic that was around.

Also, I ADORE the little elements. Such as Zelda finding Ruto's phone, Link coming across a stapler (well, anything can be a weapon if used correctly) and just everything! And my gods, I loved the humour. Aryll's comment of Link and Kafei coming out of the closet made me crack up with laughter. And a pineapple, they have to be the most amusing fruit out there.

I truly enjoyed this and I dont authors are told that enough. Thank you so much for writing this. You are awesome 'nuff said. Also, though I am incredibly late with this review, I hope your sequel is going well.
Crash Overdrive chapter 19 . 4/2/2013
This is actually quite a nice story.
Guest chapter 19 . 3/28/2013
So, i doubt youre going to see this, since its been over a year since this has been posted and such, but i wanted to tell you how amazing this is. This was my second read through and the writing still amazed me. Hit list is one of the higher quality fics ive read, regarding ploy, transitions, grammer etc. I wish you luck with your future writings and i will be back for more.
FANTASTIC JOB
burning book chapter 1 . 3/10/2013
?sequel?
SKG100 chapter 16 . 2/25/2013
U are awesome
Out of the Hundreds of fanfics I have read
(60% being LOZ) this is my favorite by a long shot
It's a work of absolute beauty
MrSnowmanJoe chapter 19 . 1/14/2013
I have no words to describe how epic this was. I think I actually felt Link's hatred towards Ganon... I hate Ganon.
Shaveza chapter 19 . 1/12/2013
I found "Hit List" several months after you had completed it and it was a fantastic read. Link's speech here in Epilogue: Part 2 is one of my favorite moments in the entire story. Despite a few errors here and there, the story was amazingly fast-paced and enthralling and praying and hoping that Link and Zelda and everyone came through and survived.

Despite that you claimed "Hit List" became more 'modern day' than 'school shooting', I feel you stayed more on track than you think. The modern day setting was the best time era to write about a school shooting. I feel you did well capturing the tragedy of school shootings. Link's call for change in the way that he and his fellow students treat each other is sadly not echoed so much in real life. People like to demonize the criminals and make them utterly unsympathetic and while many shooters could be like Ganondorf: heartless; there are many like Sheik and Byrn: taken advantage of because they were lost and desolate; or people like Zant and Veran: who were clearly deranged and probably should've been in the care of a psychiatric ward. Ganondorf took advantage of the lonely and abused and those who were unable to control themselves. I don't doubt that there were many of Ganondorf's followers that were just as heartless as he was, such as people like Akazoo and Sakon.

I hope you're still working on the squeal, because I'm sure you'll do just as great of a job. While I'm not all that great with titles myself, I'll toss a few phrases at you. Maybe you'll get an idea from them.

Title Ideas:
of Chance: This one comes from the idea of statistics for danger and that, if you do something enough times, it's at some point going to go wrong. Since you say history's out to get Link...well, he's been the Hero life after life, so from the point of statistics, he'd be racking up a string of bad luck just waiting to crash down on him.

2. Chains of the Past: Kind of a "Link to the Past" reference in this idea.

3. The Witching Past: Since magic and legends are going to have a bigger role, maybe a title based off of a phrase commonly associated with magical practices? This one comes from the 'witching hour' (3:00AM).

Ahhhhhmmmmm...I don't have much more in the way of suggestions, but "Hit List" came from Ganondorf's personal plan to off the guy who sent him to juvy and kill his friends and sister before killing him too, why is that history's threatening Link? Is it a specific reason? Maybe that could inspire your title.

Well, hope to see the sequel up some day!
Shaveza
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