|Reviews for Caged|
| Alayne Rae chapter 1 . 5/23/2008
-CRIES- Oh...this was wonderful. And so sad! Whatever challenge this was for, I'm certain you met it. Tragic fairy-tale, indeed. :3 I wish I had half the amount of talent you have; please keep it up! Take care!
| haru-teri22 chapter 1 . 8/16/2007
ok this is about the best thing you've ever ever ever written!
i am amazed by this!
i actually, ACTUALLY had tears in my eyes!
and you do not noe how hard that is to make raw
tears come out!
everything was perfectly played for your 'princess castle' theme
i loved Riku in the note...
and i loved the end too!
you always make your endings bittersweet :]
ohh geez thankies!
| emi-face yo chapter 1 . 6/22/2007
this was amazingly sad.
i loved it.
it had to be my favorite one from this challenge.
| Jaded-Raindrop chapter 1 . 5/27/2007
That was so...wow.
I loved it.
(Thanks for your nice review on my story, 'Another Everything', by the way.)
| xoRaining Diamondsox chapter 1 . 5/16/2007
Aww... guess fairytales don't always work out the way we want them to, huh?
(Lol, I actually read this the other day, but I never got the chance to review.)
I liked your descriptions - they were really nice. And the way Riku just showed his devotion for her? That was sweet. xD
I love the final line, too. "Because he loved when she smiled." So she smiles for him, knowing that he's watching. AW... xD
Well, good job with this one! Keep up the great work!
| The Pterodactyl chapter 1 . 4/19/2007
Very nice. You are obviously a very talented writer.
| Ryfee chapter 1 . 4/3/2007
NAMIKU! *gives cookies* lawllawl. Namiku is huge love xD; *shakes hand*
dunm dum dum~ so yeah. I think this one is sweet. I mean, ehehe. Namiku. It's hard to find good namiku's in kh fandom. Like suppah. But before that...
First, you had some verb tenses confusion over there. Also some sentences that seriously needed commas. Grammar errors.
And some things that bugged me... If Riku did hear someone moving behind the bushes, why didn't you describe anything about it? I mean, you could have just written he sensed something unusual, like, maybe.. he glanced around warily or sth? It could be improved.
And Namine. I know you attempted to make her life secluded, but uhm, reality struck me. It seemed like she'd never seen sunset, right? So... does that mean... Her room had no fxkcing WINDOWS? If yes. Oh my god. What kind of life did she have? It was almost impossible. So unrealistic. Poor princess. O_O;
And about the story itself; I do think this one was a bit too fast, thus its point and essence seemed... futile? I don't know. That's what I felt.
I mean, c'mon, this story had big potency. I liked your 'point' of story here, but sadly, I think this one needed more improvements. Honestly, I don't care about the length. You could make this super long, with more facts, more chara development, more things to support this or that-I don't care. What matters is the story. Even though it's super long, it'll be worth it, right? Oh, and the part when Riku died, I think you could descirbe some things before it happened (adding suspense lol!), vaguely, and keep the readers curious. Meaning they had no idea of what was to come. Or, what you had in store to surprise 'em. xD;
But see, as I said before, this story had big potency of making me go "squee!" Esp that sunset part. Ew, so touchy. When Namine said Riku was her sunset, I went "aw!"
It seems just... That statement wasn't only a statement. And so melancholic. xD;
I loved that
Anyways, good job. I'll be waiting for more from you (:
(and btw, die Roxas. I hate him so much. xD;)
| Indigo Eyes chapter 1 . 3/31/2007
Oh, this was a dreadfully beautiful story. A fitting ending that wasn't quite sad but wasn't OMGEMO! (for lack of a better term). The writing was quite nice as well.
| Sky.Requiem chapter 1 . 3/27/2007
gawd.. this... GAWD! ._. you made me teary... i like it, a LOT!...
Oh, and you know?, while i was reading, the first introduction of Riku to Naminé, i though "Oh.. so.. he es playing the servant, but he is really the PRINCE!... ouh.. smart.. clever.. yeah.. pretty clever.. fufufu"
Anyways.. it was cool.. so.. cute...
C'ya around! XD
| raron2ride chapter 1 . 3/27/2007
this...this is so sad! i mean...just the lengths you went to to characterize them, so make it so that i was actually getting sad or hopeful, depending on the scene...it's just wonderful.
and then you got me hoping that maybe riku was the prince in disguise, and that it would be a "happily ever after" kind of story...it just made it more bitter in the end.
(and i even was trying to convince myself that the girl with silver hair was riku in disguise...until you said that she was his sister.)
seriously, this is incredible writing. please, write whenever you can: you are very, very good at it, and you can only get better.
| silver moon droplet chapter 1 . 3/26/2007
yeah i pm you WHILE I WAS READING
thats just how super i am.
that was just so sad
i started crying at the letter
gawd i'm a sap.
but HOLY SHEET that was lyke holy amazing.
and filled with HOLYNES
"He had shone into her sad, dark life, lighting it up with his laugh, his loyalty, his love.
He… was her sunset."
that will just live forever,
beautiful just beautiful.
you own my face.
kkthx for the entry
[ ana ]