|Reviews for What the Molerat Saw|
| AnnoyingBrat chapter 8 . 7/30/2010
Great crossover! The for the length of the fic I was pleasantly surprised with how much was in it. (if that makes sense at all ... ) You did a good job on the background setting ( good job including Bartender!Xander from TotB, I think he would be great at the whole bar confessional thing.
Kim as a Slayer! She will definitely be a handful. Dawn groping Rufus made
me feel kinda dirty -.o. Also the identity of Bonnie's watcher made me lol since it was so perfect. _. Also the New Council sticking it to GJ. So much awesomeness squished into this fic! Wish it was a bit longer but only cause it was such a fun fic! Thanks for sharing, you are an awesome writer!
Also: like to throw out a recommendation of the Virtual Series Watchers for anyone who feels they can't stand the new slayers ;-) They do a great job 3Ding them out in a way they ran out of time for in the show.
| Techi chapter 8 . 10/1/2008
That was so cool! BtVS and KIGO, F*#in' awesome!
| RinnX chapter 8 . 7/10/2007
A really good read. Though I would have loved to see an appearance by Faith and see some interactions between the Chosen Two. Would be great to see a part 2 to this series esp. if we get to see more development between Shego & Kim. )
| CastaS chapter 8 . 4/20/2007
great story, i enjoyed it much.
| jupitersthunder chapter 8 . 4/7/2007
That's pretty awesome for a Kim and Buffy crossover! But did they get together or not?
| Balrog60 chapter 8 . 4/5/2007
I enjoyed your work. So much so that I am actually writing a review, something I haven't done before, so please be patient. I liked the basic story line, combining two of my favorite shows from over the past several years. You handle dialogue well, which is something that I've struggled with in some pieces that I've been working on (none posted as yet). I look forward to other KPxBTVS stories that you come up with, and I will have to check out some of your other works.
Now comes the 'but'. But it seemed to me that you were struggling with the KP characters a bit, especially in their interactions with one another and their emotional responces to situations. This is, of course, filtered through my perceptions, and I am no expert on the KP universe, just a simple fan. But I digress.
In chapter 1 the situation seemed rather contrived, as a way to get Kim and Sheego together without Ron interfering. Having Sheego drunk on the job just didn't work for me. The character is usually written as quite serious about any work that she is performing, even if she is not altogether sure that it is going to succeed (ie. most of Drakken's ideas). Its your universe, and you can set it up as you like it, but without any prior history or explanation, it just seemed odd. Then keeping Ron from showing up by dragging him off tangled in a balloon seemed too 'deus ex machina' for me. Drakken is a tech-head, who usually has a fast hovercraft waiting for escape, so an 'escape balloon' just doesn't make sense. Hard to escape from exploding lairs and hot pursuit by GJ in a balloon. Plus Sheego, always image conscious, would probably beat Drakken to a pulp before using such a clumsy escape craft. I could be wrong, but it left me with a definite feeling of 'huh?'
My greatest problem, though, came with your handling of Kim and Ron. I am biased, I like Ron, despite his sometimes annoying goofiness, and I like the coupling of Kim and Ron. It just seems balanced to me and leaves me with a bit of hope for the less than perfect of us. But alternate couplings are really popular, and I don't have any problem with them, as long as the set-up works. But in chapter 2 you just drop the bomb that Kim and Ron have broken up, without further explanation. If you are going to use a baseline where they actually have been a couple, which was a momentous occasion in the series, then you leaving us begging to be told what happened to them. You mention that there is an explanation, albeit filtered through Bonnie's perspective, but you still don't tell us about it. It was frustrating. They have been BFs for most of their lives, and now you have them fairly recently broken up as a couple, but KP doesn't seem to be concerned at all by it. Nor does Ron when we finally get some lines for him. Kim tends to obsess about relationship issues, and as for Ron, it just seems to me that he would be crushed by such an occurence, yet they are interacting without any awkweirdness. It struck me that you might have been much better off using the approach that several other authors have worked with, setting up the initial conditions so that Kim and Ron have never been a couple. It leaves them both free to form other relationships without too much angst or need for explanation, and doesn't endanger their essential friendship.
Their relationship actually seemed very muted altogether. Kim came across, to me, as actually not being very friendly to Ron. She was laughing and smirking at his actions in ways that seemed derogatory rather than just happily amused or supportive. When questioned about their status, you had her use '... just good friends' rather than stress their best friends forever relationship. This again seems out of character for her, although I might understand it, a bit, if the thought is to build a sense of isolation from her past due to the change into a slayer.
Ron wasn't given many scenes, or much to say, but even he did not seem as supportive as 'usual'. You wrote him as rather subdued (I would have expected him actively cheering for Kim from the sidelines in the gym), seemingly a younger, more skittish (squeaks a lot) and foolish version than his character was written as at the time of his and Kim's BF/GF relationship in the series. Like I've said, its your universe, but I like Ron, and was kind of dissapointed that he didn't get much time, or respect/ consideration from the other characters, in the piece. But, heck, I would have liked to have seen/heard more from Willow (my favorite BTVS character) and Xander (another character I enjoy). So that could just reflect your chosen focus for the piece. But I would have liked to have seen Buffy drag Ron out onto the gym floor after she asked him about his monkey kung fu mastery for some light sparring. It could have established that he is not a complete doofus, having previously withstood his own archvillain, Monkey Fist, one of the more dangerous criminals in the KP universe, and having defeated another fairly well trained Yamanouchi ninja, Fukashima, for the Lotus Blade. Ron actually has trained much more for his position as sidekick/support for Kim than any of the scoobies had at the start of their adventures. It could have worked to slip in a little monkey magic at that time, not enough to steal the scene, just a panic reaction, but something to get the group thinking more about it. Also, his status as Yamanouchi's prophesied 'Chosen One', and his control of the Lotus Blade, a supposedly very powerful magical talisman and weapon, never got brought up, despite the Council's interactions with Yori and Yanamouchi. Giles just kind of wrote off monkey magic as something not too important, even though I believe it was Dawn that expressed their mostly complete lack of knowlege on the subject. As a minor point, I would have thought that it would be more appropriate for the crystal test to show Ron as a blue glow, once again the 'usual' glow associated with M. Yellow just seemed kind of a let down. As far as other things for Ron to be included in, I could easily have seen him situated with Xander, maybe even helping out in the bar, perhaps whipping up some food, while both discussed the ins and outs of dealing with warrior women and saving the world. It wouldn't have had to be a big scene, but it would allow both the guys some interaction and bonding that would help both sides to better understand the other. Given Buffy's mention of plans for Ron in Cleveland, I kind of expected to see something happening to him there, rather than just getting shunted off to series of classes, most of which seemed a little demeaning. Ron has been handling most of those duties and more for most of his relationship with Kim, who, slayer or not, is pretty high maintenance, and could probably TA, if not teach, most of them. As for 'Hiding', while funny, it just seemed to accentuate the feeling that the sidekick status was a pretty lowly one. One of the core concepts in the KP universe is that Kim and Ron are actually saving the world, as in the Diablo incident, and that Ron actively participates in activities that have him risking his life for the sake of Kim on a regular basis. Hiding wouldn't be pulling his weight in either universe. If he is going to be trained in new things, magic would be a good start. It has lots of potential for humor, can work with his aptitude for cooking, which borders on the magical and demonstrates a high degree of creative/organizational skills that even Kim does not have. He already has some familiarity with magic through the M, so he would be the choice for the wielder of such, with Wade being the techno-wizard. Remember, even Willow got her start with just floating a pencil. Ron can call the Lotus Blade.
As far as the other KP characters go, Bonnie didn't seem to have much of her typical vitriol towards Kim, or abrasiveness towards everyone in general. I could easily have enjoyed a 'sparring' match between her and Kim. I always like Mr. Barkin, in whatever configuration the authors have used him in, and thought that your use of him was excellent. Yori worked quite well, but then there was no lead into her relationship with Ron. It just kind of happened. And since he didn't seem particularly excited by her initial presence, the transition seemed abrupt. Wade was good, but even his reaction to the break up of Kim and Ron seemed kind of bland. Once again, I think that there would have been more repercussions to said break up in the world of KP than what was exhibited. I found it curious that you would choose Wade over Ron to act as confidant in the story. But I may be missing the internal logic at work.
So, that's what I've got. Mostly just long-winded personal preference issues that don't really reflect on the technical merits of the story. I hope they help, or at least don't hurt. Like I said before, I did enjoy it.
One last thing. For an alternate opening scene, I came up with a battle between a slayer and an ice demon on a glacial ice field in Siberia. The battle is fierce, but the slayer is eventually victorius. But as she turns away from her fallen foe, a crevasse opens below her and she is lost after she falls in and it collapses around her. The scene ends with an announcement something to the effect that the in the age old battle between good and evil, the legions of Hell are without number, but against them stands the Slayers. Once but a single girl, the Slayers numbers have grown but are still limited. And if one falls, another will be called to take her place. ... cut to battle between Kim and Sheego ...
It would lead into the story of how another slayer comes to be and still the speculation as to how the slayer died that Kim is called to replace, even if none of the story characters actually learn the truth about how the slayer fell. Anyway, its just an idea.
| Pyric chapter 8 . 4/4/2007
Well it's not the killer finish I anticipated, but it's still good. Nice work on this fic - looking forward to seeing more from you in KP fandom!
| sapphicspencil chapter 8 . 4/4/2007
But... I don't want it to be completed! *sob* Very excellent story, definitely a fav. I hope you continue with more Kigo fics XD
| korovan chapter 8 . 4/3/2007
Great story, well written! I hope you write more. One continuity glitch though (don't fell bad, the pros do it too): At least one Slayer has had a child. Nikki Wood (the 2nd Slayer that Spike killed, in NYC) was the mother of Robin Wood, later the last principal of Sunnydale HS and Faith's last known boy-toy...
| Ashelia2004 chapter 8 . 4/3/2007
I have to say that this was totally awesome! I hope there is a sequel to this to see how things play out. Also, it would be pretty cool to see Buffy and Faith interact and see if they can get their act together.
| Hashkorns chapter 8 . 4/3/2007
Enjoyed it but was kinda disappointed when it was over so fast. But, I'm looking forward to the other stories. _
| Hashkorns chapter 7 . 4/2/2007
| Pyric chapter 7 . 4/2/2007
I am smiling INSANELY!
I had to go back through it again, because there were tons of things I liked about it and I had to find them again - so here you go: The musings on Ron being on a date? Nice touch. I was wondering how she'd take the fact that he's moved on already. Good work on that front. Also, there were a couple of lines that really had me going, let me see if I can find them...ah, while I'm here, the fact that the others call Faith and Buffy 'the fossils' is fantastic. Shego trying to figure out the security thing at the bar was also nicely done, and the same goes for the videos - how cute. You brought up an interesting idea; Kim going to University in Go City! Shego wouldn't want to follow her there, this is true - I never thought of that. I mean, I always went 'Oh, isn't that interesting, that Kim's going to Go City for University' but the full extent of what that could mean for Shego never occurred to me. Good job there, too!
Ah, here's a good line, and very believable: "I'm not stalking anyone." Shego said, mildly affronted. "And she's not yours, she's mine." I love how casually she just announces that Kim belongs to her! Haha, and I believe there's a bit somewhere in there about her spending four years working on Kimmie - loved that also. The short blonde bimbo? Superb. Very Shego. Ah yes - prickly green woman. A fitting, and very visual, description! You seem to have a knack for those, Qi.
Oh, so that's the explanation for what Shego's got to do with all of this. Heh, well I can't say I'm super excited about the idea of her training people and being on the side of good, even if your explanations and such have been perfectly logical and well-thought-out, I also can't say I'm disappointed. I can say, however, that things seem to be moving smoothly enough, and that I am completely taken with this story; you can't possibly imagine how excited I get whenever this sucker is updated - and how ecstatic I was at the incredible length of the chapter! Yay! Quality AND quantity! I mean, you've gotten me so completely absorbed in this fic - man! I had to go out in the middle of this chapter and all I kept thinking about were ways of making the errand go faster so that I could get back and finish.
And what's more, there's yet another chapter to look forward to! Adding that to your promise of more Buffy-KP fun, and you've got one thrilled reader!
Phew, I think I've been irritating enough for one night - Unintended has played itself through four times while I wrote this, and I'm about to start the fifth - methinks that's all for tonight. Great work and all that, Qi!
| Lisette chapter 7 . 4/2/2007
Though I don't know a lot about Kim Possible, you've always produced quality in the past, and this project in no exception. Very well written.
One note: You have used the word "whingeing" a couple of times. I did a search on and while they don't recognize "whingeing," "whinging" is the British version of our American "whining." Maybe you're supposed to be dropping the 'e' when you mix "whinge" with the "-ing"?
| Allaine chapter 7 . 4/2/2007
For better or worse, when I occasionally read BtVS fanfic, my enjoyment of said fic is colored by my enjoyment of the relevant season.
Your writing is fine, I'm not criticizing you as a writer. But there was so much I did NOT like about Season Seven (actually, I wish they'd ended at Five), that it's pretty much making it impossible for me to like this story. The Slayerettes like Kennedy and Vi especially set my teeth on edge.
I'll be curious to see what other stories you have planned in the future, but I can't say I've enjoyed this.