|Reviews for The Night World: Immortal Affliction|
| ahans1b chapter 10 . 5/9/2017
Please update this! It's to good of a story to leave abandoned!
| Guest chapter 10 . 4/26/2017
I wish you'd hurry up and finish this instead of leaving us hanging
| HuntressXHunter chapter 4 . 4/3/2017
Man I can't wait to see neji chase around sasuke
| ankwhat chapter 10 . 6/8/2016
Great story. It would be great if you finish it.
| senaxeth chapter 10 . 5/14/2016
| Guest chapter 10 . 5/10/2016
Hurry up and finish please
| Laura234 chapter 4 . 3/6/2016
Sasuke is so similar to Ash xddd.
| Guest chapter 10 . 12/15/2015
| Guest chapter 10 . 10/1/2015
How long will it take...it tooo much of a torture to wait...asap plssss
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/13/2014
hey ...please update it ...i really want to read more it such good story please please new chapter please...and please dont allow itachi to defall naruto innocence ...let him be for sasuke
| bridmatt chapter 10 . 3/12/2014
It's too bad you quit writing this fic. It was pretty entertaining. I normally hate the idea of soulmates and soul-bonding in fanfiction because it's a total pairing shortcut. The two characters don't actually have to fall in love and grow closer because there's a deus ex machina that's taken care of all that. In this story it actually works because Sasuke doesn't want the connection, so Naruto is forced to chase him. There's been 10 chapters and they still aren't together, which is good because every confrontation they've had, they've gotten to know each other a little better. So it's like they're still falling in love the normal way, even with the bond in place.
As a reader, I want to feel like the main pairing would have loved each other even without the deus ex machina soul bond making them oh-so right and perfect for each other, and I do think that's the case here. The story has emphasized their mutual loneliness, and I think that is a point where they do connect, along with having both experienced the horror that is Itachi. I think Naruto is probably one of the few people who could understand why Sasuke hates him so much because he's experienced it himself. Because they are mutual survivors, Sasuke and Naruto can also help each other move past what Itachi did to them.
The story also doesn't make it seem like finding your soulmate is the key to perfect bliss, which is another thing I find incredibly annoying about the concept. (Even the happiest of couples fight sometimes!) Finding her soulmate certainly hasn't worked out well for Hana, now has it? I also hate the "mate or die" principle that soulmate fics tend to have, where the couple can't be apart for even a little bit or they will experience extreme pain, or if one of the two guy will literally die if the other one doesn't accept the bond. In this story, Tsunade lost her soulmate, yet has gone on living without going crazy because of it, and Itachi can sleep with other people and even spend years apart from Hana without the two of them being seriously bothered. I think if having a soulmate really did have "mate or die" consequences then it would be biologically unfeasible and we wouldn't be able to survive as a species. (Imagine a pilot who couldn't fly the plane because he was so distracted from being separated from his sweetie or a doctor who messed up an operation because she felt her soulmate's longing through their bond...)
The other thing soulmate fics tend to do, which I was glad you didn't do here, is to make a bunch of people find their soulmates all at once. Like Kakashi realizing that Naruto's adopted father Iruka is actually his soulmate (yuck), or giving Sasuke two friends (Shino and Shikamaru, for example) who suddenly realize that Naruto's two friends are also their soulmates! (Double yuck.) That sort of thing is so trite and annoying. If finding a soulmate is supposed to be a majorly rare and precious thing, then how can a bunch of them suddenly appear out of the woodwork like it's an easy and commonplace thing? There should only be one new soulmate pairing per fic, otherwise it cheapens the main pairing. (Established couples like Hana and Itachi are fine, especially because they bring something different to the table than Naruto and Sasuke and show some of the negative sides to finding your soulmate.)
It's too bad you aren't writing fic anymore because I would have enjoyed seeing how this story ended. I was curious about Naruto. Is he really human? He can understand animals and Tsunade knew his father... Maybe Naruto is actually part of the Night World, like maybe he's half human and half Night Creature and never knew it? (The cliche explanation for Naruto is that he's a human who has been possessed by the demon Kyuubi. I wouldn't have liked it if that turned out to be the case with this fic, not only because it's cliche, but also because it introduces a lot of unnecessary lore into the story. The fic has well-established the Night World, but has not mentioned demons up until this point. To justify putting it in now would require a lot of infodumping and convoluted logic that would mess up the plot.)
I also wanted to know why Itachi had gone after Naruto in the past and how/why Naruto got away from him. I got the impression that Naruto was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and Itachi decided to use him as a convenient blood bank while he was doing whatever he was doing in the town Naruto was living in before moving on.
Sakura and Ino were also a mystery to me. The fic hasn't shown Ino very much, but Sakura indicated that she's interested in Itachi. Maybe Ino had previously been a willing blood-donor like Deidara? Sakura certainly knows much more than she's letting on. She knew who - and what - Sasuke was without anyone telling her, even though she's human...
I also really wanted to see Naruto's reaction once he realized just how much Itachi had hurt Sasuke. Sasuke said Itachi touched him sexually after the attack... So he was raped? Molested at the very least? (It would certainly explain a lot of Sasuke's behavior and why he doesn't like being close to other people, aside from just the trauma of his family's deaths.)
And then of course there's the issue of Sasuke and Naruto accepting their bond. I'm curious how you would have ended it, if you would have let Naruto remain human, or had Sasuke change him. The fact that Hana is still alive even after all these years despite being human shows that Naruto would also have a longer than normal lifespan because of Sasuke. So making him into a vampire so he can be immortal is unnecessary. (And personally, I would have preferred Naruto staying human. Making Naruto into a vampire is a cliche, Twilight-ish thing to do. And more importantly, I don't think drinking other people's blood is something Naruto would ever want to do, so I can't see him agreeing to do it if he didn't have to in order to remain with Sasuke.)
It's too bad, I don't think this fic would have needed too many more chapters to complete. Alas. Hope you are doing well where ever you are now. :)
| strawberryknight chapter 10 . 2/11/2014
Please write more! This story in amazing! Is naruto gonna be something special too? He should have his powers sealed or something like that 3
| Luv-ly Stories chapter 1 . 11/22/2013
Can't wait for more
| Guest chapter 10 . 9/12/2013
such a nice concept please don't make it triangle MAKE IT PURE LOVE ...PLEASE..MAKE NARU HELP SASU TO WIN AGAINST itachi ...
PLEASE UPDATE IT...
SUCH GOOD IMAGINATION ...DAMN GOOOOD WORK...
KEEP IT UP ...ALLTHE BEST
| Mana-sensei chapter 10 . 8/23/2013
Please update soon! This story amazes me!