|Reviews for A Captured Mauser|
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/8
hello mr. mauser can you write a story about a colt single action army revolver aka the colt .45 peacemaker becuse my gandpa own one see and he puerto rican so i want to tell the story in yore ficinal acon how the revolver came to puerto rico and fur the hands of sebla pepole to a u.s soldier in the invion of puerto rico to the hand of the nefuw of the ganddad in today see this tings in wikipedia for mor info. spansh anmircan war the puerto rican nationalist party revolts of the 1950s ples write the story
| The Mighty One chapter 1 . 6/18/2010
Wow, nice work you have here. The story truly flows nicely for my eyes and the depth behind the scenes is deeply inspiring. ;-)
I was drawn into the beginning, and feel you crafted out a beautiful work of art, where it started off from the solder's point of view on the German side, then you went to how the Mauser was disbanded.
The history and facts, the battle of Stalingrad, where the Germans were surrounded was a key eliment, and the atmosphere and color of the scenes was also entrancing to behold.
A very good piece of artwork you have created, showing all points of view on a story. The point of view from a rifle, at who's many hands it has passed down from, from the manufactuerers in Germany, to the solder in Stalingrad where he disbands it then dies of the cold. Where the Russians pick it up, and during the Cold War, they sold them to make money, where it eventualy found it's way to a pawn shop. Shifting through many different hands, and the teen at the end, holding the rifle, where if the rifle could speak, it would tell that a boy, no older than he used it before his death, truly painted a very captivating story to read! :-D Thanks for a GREAT tale! :-D
| Swashbucklist chapter 1 . 4/26/2010
It's a fact: war is unbelievably horrific. You excel at the art of description.
| codfreak chapter 1 . 12/16/2009
I read this and have to say,THAT WAS just about made me wanna go read all the history books in the ,keep on writng like this cuz I can't wait to see what you come up with next.
| That's my Mango chapter 1 . 9/17/2009
Wow, one of the best stories ever
| SamPD2 chapter 1 . 5/25/2009
Well done. I never thought that a story could be written this way. You sir show respect to all sodiers in the bloody war.
| WeirdDutchGuy chapter 1 . 5/25/2009
I just typed up a huge review about how well you describe the situation in Stalingrad, yadda yadda, and then the window suddenly loaded a different page before I could hit Send. I'll see how much I can remember.
I haven't been very active on here for a while, especially not in my C2 (shame on me, I know), but I was bored and thought 'heck, why not'. So I browsed to the MoH category and found this.
Your idea of following the course of a rifle, rather than one of a human, is one that holds a lot of promise. For me at least, this is a novelty. I can certainly see more of these pop up in the future.
Like I said, you managed to bring across the feelings and the mood of your young German well, and paint a picture of the surroundings. That's something I find very lacking in most amateuristic work (meaning work you're not paid for - not necessarily bad work).
There are some points you can improve on though. For one, though everything seems spelled correctly, your word choice is strange at times. Trucks don't grin to a halt (grinning is smiling with your teeth exposed); they grind to a halt. Probably a typo, but one Word doesn't pick up. There are other strange formulations that you should look at. You'll probably notice them yourself if you re-read it now.
Also, the second sentence of the first paragraph doesn't flow well. The main problem I have with that one is the first constituent, which doesn't seem to have any added value. Leave it out or make it a seperate sentence (so introduce a verb and predicate).
On a final note, plural -s is added without the apostrophe - -'s signals possession. ;)
Hope that helps.
| find-Cibola-with-me chapter 1 . 4/18/2009
Wow. You should have this published. I've never read a game fanfic before today, but your story is so clever. Thank you so much for writing it! I love history, and this really makes me appreciate the past even more.
| GroveStreetOG chapter 1 . 7/10/2008
This has got to be one of my favorite Medal of Honor fictions. Well written, flows well, and a very good idea. I also like your writing style. Keep it up!
| Batard Anonyme chapter 1 . 4/23/2008
That was a very good story. There is almost nothing on Stalingrad and I thank you for writing this. You are a great writer and I like your style. Keep up the good work comrade.
| john chapter 1 . 7/23/2007
Its a good short story. Quick and well written
| Professor Ken chapter 1 . 7/17/2007
It's an excellent story that captures well the horrors of the bloody battle of Stalingrad. It leaves an impression on the reader, and I'm sure I for one will never look at old war rifles in the same way!
| MOSIN-NAGANT chapter 1 . 6/28/2007
I found this story very well written and fairly historically accurate, which are the two things I look in a WWII story.
Great job, be proud of your stories. I'm off to read more of your tales.
| Trueroman chapter 1 . 4/18/2007
I thought, since you reviewed some of my work, I'd give yours a try and boy am I glad that I did. This is why:
For one, you grandly decorated this tale with a vast amount of color and scenery. I like that, I like it when people paint pictures, to tell a story more than just simple dialogue and a brief sense of action. I really felt like my room had turned into a battle field and I was there with them.
Secondly, your story was different. You see a lot of what happened on the Americans side, or, in some cases, British. There aren't many based on the battle of Stalingrad, at least not that I've seen on here.
Thirdly, you know your stuff. Guns, vehicles, names, places, anything and everything that needed to be known in the story. Makes me feel, which I laugh at this, somewhat stupid. Really, I personally am learning this stuff as I write this, but it's refreshing that you know this stuff.
Though I have a lot of praise for your piece of work, I do like to mention there is a substantial number of grammer mistakes, but nothing too bad. At least it was easy to read. .
All in all, great work, looking forward to more of your work.
This is going under my favorites.
| the mighty lu bu chapter 1 . 4/15/2007
this may very well be one of the best short stories i have ever read