Reviews for Resident Evil
Elementer chapter 1 . 5/31/2008
Like your RE 2 this is a well put novelization, I give this one a 9.9/10
Stitchie001 chapter 5 . 4/4/2008
I'm eager to read the next chapter. These are really good and the description is crisp with craftmanship.
Stitchie001 chapter 4 . 4/4/2008
Another great chapter and you have a great way of explaining detail.
Stitchie001 chapter 3 . 4/4/2008
I completely forgot about this story. I was looking around in my account and found your name in my favorites and checked it out. Then I found this story. I fogot how good it was. I'm definutely keeping me eye out for this story. It's great by the way.
Lord Leachim chapter 5 . 10/14/2007
i like that you actually have coherent and descriptive actions. most of the writers on this site don't know how to combine actions with description and setting. but the part with jill running away from the dogs was very well done. you interspersed the action with bits of description to keep the scene coherent in the reader's mind without making it choppy and awkward. well done.

minor problems: when jill shot the one dog, you say it fell down in pain. the dog's undead, so it probably doesn't feel pain at all. also, this is a silly complaint, but i wouldn't use the phrase "master of unlocking" in the story. critics of the game use that line as an example of how awful the dialogue in the game was. using it in your own story just draws attention to it.

i just uploaded almost this exact same scene in my own story. mine is much different than yours, of course, since you're following the game's plot much more directly than i am.
Lord Leachim chapter 1 . 10/6/2007
you're still doing dialogue wrong. (i know you said you didn't want comments on this, but it's important.) each time a new person starts talking, start a new paragraph. example:

"All right, I want Alpha team to head out to Bravo teams crash site in twenty minutes," Irons exclaimed. "Did you get their coordinates?" Brad asked.

now, when i read this, i assume that irons is still talking. but when i get to the end of the second bit of dialogue, i discover that brad is the one talking now. i don't find out a new person is talking until the end of the second sentence. each time i read dialogue, i have to mentally pause at the end to find out who said it.

if you insist on writing all the dialogue in one paragraph for some reason, do it this way:

Irons exclaimed, "All right, I want Alpha team to head out to Bravo teams crash site in twenty minutes." Brad asked, "Did you get their coordinates?"

at least this way we know who is talking each time at the beginning of the dialogue and there are no surprises.

... yea, and i guess this story was okay.
RagingDemon2011 chapter 3 . 6/18/2007
This story's awesome... TOO AWESOME FOR WORDS MAN! Seriously, awesome plot and a nice way to try and have all 4 S.T.A.R.S. members unite from what I think will happen... Looking fowards to the next chapter!
Stitchie001 chapter 2 . 4/2/2007
Pretty interesting. I like this story!
Stitchie001 chapter 1 . 4/2/2007
This story has great protential. This is my second resident evil story I've read so far and it looks like your living it up to the game. I just love the resident evil series! Keep going!
simison chapter 1 . 3/30/2007
Quick question: Why did you choose Oregan as Raccoon's state? And I've been having trouble reading your dialogue because they are so close together, it's hard to tell who's saying what. Other than that, I think it's pretty good.
redfielder chapter 1 . 3/29/2007
OK, I like it, except...the grammer rules that ou are breaking. You always start a new paragragh wen some new is talking. This is one of the rules that makes me read or not read a story.