|Reviews for You, Me, and the War Between Us|
| Shinyjiggly chapter 6 . 6/21/2010
Wow, Nick has been acting pretty irrational lately. And the puppy story was just awesome because of the ending. (I bet the look on that girl's face was just priceless!)
But, isn't it a bit much for Nick and Edgey to hug? It's kinda bordering on fan service (don't get me wrong, a little fan service is nice every once in a while). Either way, I'm excited about the next chapter!
| Shinichi06 chapter 5 . 3/20/2010
woah. mind blowing, your story is. Please update soon! I'm on the edge waiting for an update!
| SacredLugia chapter 5 . 1/21/2010
That was probably... The best story about Phoenix Wright I ever read. Quite simply put, it was absolutely amazing. However, it seems like the story's no longer being updated. That kind of sucks.
| Sensibly Insane chapter 5 . 4/14/2009
Wow. I am loving your plots! Unfortunately, I'm not loving having to wait to see what happens. Anyway, update soon, this rocks!
| GraphiteHeron chapter 5 . 4/4/2009
Wow. Sorry to wait until the last chapter to review, but I just needed to keep reading. Pausing wasn't really an option. That being said, I'm not too familiar with the canon storyline, so all's I can tell you is Larry seems like a normal guy, Phoenix seems like a guy who's experiencing some majorly unexpected crisiseses...I mean, the characters fit their roles just fine.
So, he ain't supposed to have a brother...on one hand, everybody wants their OC to be the main character's long-lost sibling, and on the other hand, every long-lost sibling is usually perfect (the kind of perfect we all hate) and Cameron is loveably fractured in all the right places and then some. I want a brother like that (though I'd probably regret saying so after the first three hours and the novelty wore off, yes?)
There are a few places that might need polishing, but that's creative-writing-nitpicking and there's nothing outstandingly in need of correction.
There's always a sense of the physical world, and everybody does annoying but realistic stuff (they tap their fingers, bite their lips...), and no one seems to connect in conversations, which is by far one of the most realistic touches I've yet seen on this whole site. No one ever really listens...they're too wrapped up in their own things to do that.
All in all, your writing is quite good. A!
| Catspaw chapter 5 . 3/5/2009
This chapter had me on the edge of my seat. Please continue!
| Amarr chapter 5 . 3/4/2009
Very nice imagery for this chapter. I ended up rereading the description of how Phoenix perceived his surroundings when he was hit with the pipe because I found it so interesting. Out of curiousity, is there any reason why you made his ears start ringing? I understand that it was from being hit in the head, but I've never been hit in the head at all so I wasn't aware that it would cause one's ears to ring. Does it have more to do with the blow or the fact that his ear was hit?
Anyway, I'm getting off topic here.
So my guess was wrong (as usual) but at least I hit some points, eh? The new question is what Cameron has been doing, but I'm not about to guess. I think I'll wait for the next half of the chapter instead.
I'm also very interested in how you'll portray Edgeworth in the coming chapters. So far his personality is good. You managed to make him sound a little stiff and prideful while letting just enough emotion through where readers know a bit of what he's thinking. Or, at least, that's how I always saw him.
I can't see what I'm typing again, so I'm going to end the review now. I look forward to the next chapter!
| ElvenArcher0310 chapter 4 . 2/20/2009
... what a CRUEL place to end the chapter! No, stupid cliffhangers. PLEASE don't take forever to update again?
| Amarr chapter 4 . 2/20/2009
Suspense! Who could it be? My bet is it's Phoenix's dad, but I can't think of why he would make them go out to the middle of the lake in an extremely suspicious manner... Unless he's like Cameron and wants to go sight seeing (joking, joking). It /could/ be the person who was sending Phoenix the letters, but why would he talk as if he knew Cameron? Unless the guy sending the letters is Phoenix's dad. That would be different. (and I really doubt it since there isn't any real motive) But this is a mystery, even if the genre is drama/humor.
Sorry for the comment on Cameron before. Really, I don't mind him. I mean, AUs are common fanfiction material, so I expected to run into some. Sorry if I didn't make that clear earlier. This last chapter put him under "endearing character" since it showed another side of him. I don't like flat characters much.
Now fanfiction's messing up again. I can't see what I'm typing anymore, so I'm going to stop now. I eagerly await the next chapter!
| The Real Kami-Sama chapter 1 . 2/2/2009
Well, reading this story, I found it to be most intriguing. I really find the characters to be well displayed, and I find the plot to keep it's pace going strong throughout each chapter. More people who can write like this, make FF a better place to be. I haven't seen many stories like this, but coming into FF with hopes of stories like this has left me anxious to read others. (Later comments of like, shall be intertwined with those reviews I deem, pointless.)
HOWEVER: What I didn't like about the story, was reading the reviews. I'm sorry, but this really must be said, considering that it comes way to commonly in fan fiction sites. Allow me, if you will to point out the cause, of what seems to be the festering point of some of the reviews in your overall 19, (excluding mine) reviews. Bad Exposition. You are the start of this chain and should be ashamed. Your claim of characters not being who they are in the game, is a display of your ignorance in the fact that you did not read the real idea of . Is that these stories, are intended to be altered, they do not have to be exact to the slightest detail. What you are reviewing as bad, is not even a review at all. It is your displeasure of the characters not being depicted to your liking. Your review, quite frankly, is just only what FF says you can do, voice your opinion, which I do not consider at all. The last review I read, is a slight product of yours. You will notice, in the string of reviews left between yours, and Kirimori, is nothing but people who read this story, and looked for what you left in your comment. Appalling.
Kirimori, I would like to say your review was truthful, but I would be lying. Your review as well, was just pure stupidity. Perhaps you did not understand the two letters mentioned in the title? AU? Here, let me make that noticeable.
ALTERNATE UNIVERSE. AU...AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU AU.
Did you grasp those two letters there? I rather like the idea of Phoenix having a brother. It is an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE after all. You think I like fictions that people like you probably post about Phoenix and Edgeworth being a couple? Absolutely not. That wasn't strictly into the game either now was it? I really think your last bit of your review was just totally pointless, and displays a very large portion of your ignorance.
So, let's quickly recap. I think this story is very worth while, I love the authors characterization of each one, and I think the plot is very good in this AU story.
Bad Exposition, remember, think before you review, otherwise you will have harsh critics like me pointing out your mistakes. Reviews like yours, are statistically proven as a leading cause in Author drops. (Authors who don't write because of the flooding stupidity)
Kirimori, you should just learn to read details of story titles, and just...well frankly learn to keep your hands off the keyboard unless you absolutely know what you are typing. With that said, and the lesser, of the review pin pointed and obliterated, I advise people who read these reviews, use your logic. Don't look at the story the way someone else does, look at it from what you see. AU, and fan FICTIONS, have meanings. Meaning not everything is exact, and does not have to be. Therefore, you only reserve the right to comment on someones story in terms of grammatical errors, and at most...misplaced ends and climaxes. (How does this happen? Ask the authors who put ends in the climaxes and the so on.
| Amarr chapter 3 . 1/29/2009
Personally, I didn't think Gumshoe and Larry were that out of character. I remember thinking they were acting odd in a few instances, but not enough for me to complain about it (if I had reviewed as I went). All I remember thinking is that Gumshoe really believes those movie style themes like the threat letters, so I expected him to react differently. Not more intelligently, but a little more excited. Your beginning and end of chapter interaction with them was amusing, though.
An interesting story. This is my first Phoenix Wright fanfic, and I'm quite satisfied. I read this as I played the third game for the first time, so it was fun to see just how IN character you made them most of the time.
The plot... Well, there isn't much to go by just yet, I guess. Stories with any bit of mystery are best judged at the end, right? It's interesting, though. I'm still wondering if the person in Phoenix's dream is his brother (It might be intended to be obvious, but I can never be too careful). However, it does bug me that he has one inthe first place. (It was stated at some point in the game that he's an only child) But I guess it's okay considering the circumstances of Phoenix's memory.
I eagerly await the next chapter!
| Deaths-Guardian chapter 3 . 12/9/2008
i just started reading this n its a amazing! i loved it when Wright said that it wasnt Gumshoes fault n how Gumshoe came just in time xD
cant wait 4 ur next update coz this story is amazin!
| ElvenArcher0310 chapter 3 . 10/29/2008
I'm not sure what you thought the problem was in the first place, but man, this chapter had me on the edge of my seat! You have a very nice writing style and what seems to be an intriguing plot line. I really hope you'll update soon because I was really enjoying the story so far!
| kesa chapter 3 . 10/27/2008
im starting to believe that edgeworths not rly dead is he?
| Exhiled to the Mainland chapter 3 . 10/19/2008
I read this a while back and saw that you updated. I'm glad to see that this story hasn't fallen into the sea of discontinued stories like a lot of really good ones do. I'm interested to see where this is going, so please continue.