Reviews for Force Bond 1: Orphan
mousefiction chapter 5 . 1/10/2012
I don’t think I ever caught before that the Stormtroopers referred to the Administrator as “sir” even though she’s female. Interesting.

Having LJ speak of the grief he experienced was a really good humanizing scene, especially since all you see of the stormtroopers in the movies is them shooting and dying, basically. I like LJ a lot.
mousefiction chapter 4 . 1/10/2012
The foreshadowing going on here, with Vader, parenthood, and the gargoyles, was genius.

“The young creature was equally curious about him. It squealed at the sight of him and shuffled out of its hiding place. Its wings were only bumps on its shoulders, but it waved them back and forth rapidly.” That’s so cute….but, man. How sad that the pup sits and cries on his dad’s chest…. Sadface. It really is a show of the good still in Darth Vader when he nurses the creature back to health.

The soulmates comment was perfect, too.

“…[T]he parent and child displayed a devotion to each other of an intensity he had never seen in a non-sentient animal.” More enjoyable foreshadowing!

The cub getting stuck on top of a bookcase, that’s classic and so very cute.

“Vader expected the pair to move on and return to the wild where they belonged. They had other ideas, however. Ideas which involved spending most of their day sleeping in various nests they had built around the retreat, their favorite places being in his personal rooms.” That bit put a smile on my face.
mousefiction chapter 3 . 1/10/2012
As I am just beginning this chapter, I’m looking forward to LJ, Val and Crix. It goes to show how great and memorable this story is, that, after already reading this story (…twice…), I am still excited about what happens.

By the way. You’ve done what many writers fail to do in fanfiction: create engaging, realistic, original characters. In fact, your OCs just seem to belong in StarWars; indeed, when I first read this story, I ended up forgetting they were OCs. You use them to advance Luke’s story, not overshadow it. Many writers struggle with that essential balance. You should congratulate yourself.

And Obi Wan, having to deal with getting appointments. Poor Obi Wan. Excessive red tape may well just be a path to the Dark Side.

“Luke hesitated. In his dreams, his father was a pilot. And they flew together, all over the galaxy. There had been a lot of those dreams, recently.” I wonder if he and Vader are connecting somehow. Or if those dreams are sort of like premonitions. I wonder if Obi Wan being a step behind in the last chapters has anything to do with the Force. I’ll have to reread someday again.

"’Which one is the Imperial Palace?" Luke asked, suddenly.

"The one with the huge statue of the Emperor outside," Crix said, pointing.

"Why, Luke?" Val asked. "Dreaming of moving in?"

Crix sniggered. "Emperor Skywalker. How about it?’"

If only they knew…

"‘Zabrak's don't need showers,’ he said. ‘Because we don't have hair.’ He ran his hand over his horns, to emphasize the point.” Yay, logic!
mousefiction chapter 2 . 1/10/2012
The first two paragraphs of this chapter were a great way to have Vader enter. I particularly thought the receptionist crushing himself behind a potted plant was humorous, but in all seriousness, a very likely response to Vader’s presence. And it was so completely Vader to break that datapad in half, crush it, and then threaten the senator that he’d do the same to the Politian’s body. I love it.

“The passions and sentiments associated with that persona were alien to him. However, on this particular morning, his younger, adolescent self didn't seem so far away.” I wonder if that’s the Force trying to tell Vader something, or if being in trouble with his master reminds him of when he was younger; the way the above sentence follows “Once again, he was in trouble with his master,” the meaning could be read either way.

All in all, you have done a wonderful job of portraying Vader: he’s completely in character and completely believable, which was a joy to read!
mousefiction chapter 1 . 1/10/2012
Well, I must admit. I have read most of these Force Bond stories before, and more than once (with the exception of Son and Jedi; since completed StarWars fiction for Luke and Vader stories seems almost nonexistent, I didn’t want to “run out” anytime quickly). As someone who used to write Fanfiction, I know how frustrating it can be to see a bunch of hits and visits on your stats page, but no review to go with them. I apologize for not reviewing before, but your stories are real “page-turners” and it’s really difficult to stop reading after each chapter; plus, when I find a series that is so completely well-written and well executed, I tend to read more than once so I can give better reviews. So, here I am, ready to review. Sorry if I spam your mailbox!

Although the very first scene lasted only a little while, your Beru came off just as she did in the movies: warm; that makes the next scene that much more violent.

“The Lars' murderer had certainly made a thorough job. An ironic thought stirred in Obi-Wan's mind ... Anakin could have it fixed before he could say 'Blast!'.” Ah, how sad.

I loved that one of the younger kid asked if it snowed in space. I’m not sure why; either way, you do a great job of “writing” children.

And didn’t Luke wear a poncho in ANH? I like how you are including bits and pieces from the movie(s), and yet you have made your own story. Some times with StarWars AUs, people seem to try to keep very close to the movies; that’s fine, but it’s always nice to have fresh, original takes on the StarWars Universe.

Poor Obi Wan. He seemed to always be half a step behind in this chapter.
Krysler chapter 13 . 8/19/2011
This is somthing pretty unique and well written- I'm so glad that there are sequels, I culdn't have beared it if you left this fic just as it is!
Anne Camp aka Obi-quiet chapter 1 . 7/3/2011
A few small holes I see in the general plot so far: 1. Obi-wan could have commed the orphanage from the Storm Trooper base. 2. I doubt they'd take a new child off planet that quickly (although I can let that one slide because things like that happen far too often irl).

Other than that, it's a good story, fun beginning (if sad) and has a lot of potential. I'm looking forward to the rest of this. :)
Ilerre chapter 12 . 3/27/2011
Great story! Althought you should put the "Force Bond 2" story following this one. It's to bad I can't put the whole story in my favorites. Cutting it in two parts isn't necessesary
laelruin chapter 13 . 2/7/2011
"Force Bond" has been an interesting read. Its very well written and has a curious plot. But I hope that your not planning a Dark/Luke fic, 'cus that would make me sad. As it is, I've already cried once during this fic. Obi-wan dieing is something I've never liked at all, because he's one of my favorite characters. While this story has been a little dark for my tastes, it has also been an interesting journey and I'm glad I read it. Looking forward to the next one.

Ruin
not paranoid enough chapter 13 . 7/2/2010
i love your obi-wan. it seems like a lot of people try and make him a bad guy and all, twisting things around and making anakin's sins obi-wans. thank you for keeping to his good and noble character!
Almecestris chapter 13 . 5/29/2010
Freaking wow. I've never been a fan of Star Wars. Don't know anything about it except for the two movies that I've watched. Found this story in one of the favorites of this author that I liked. Decided to give it a try, and IT'S AMAZING! I LOVE IT! Thanks for sharing this!
to lazy to log in chapter 13 . 2/28/2010
please write more of this good stuffs!
anemix chapter 13 . 2/4/2010
I loved this story, and it bodes well for the sequels. The storyline is unique, and though I was skeptical of being able to make it sound realistic, you did it very well. I especially liked the little part about the animals on Vader's island retreat. Allusions and metaphors are just important to a story as the action of the main plot. Keep writing!

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c(")(")

BUNNY
Duchess-Ahsoka chapter 13 . 11/24/2009
Wow! I love it!
Happyfish chapter 13 . 11/22/2009
Write more soon!
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