|Reviews for Of Durmstrang Rewrite|
| guest chapter 13 . 3/30
UPDATE YPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE! Please I cant wait any longer!
| PaC chapter 13 . 3/30
Considering WHAT went down in the end of chapter seven, WITNESSES to Sirius Black being in the champions' or Pumphrey's tent...whatever.
Some sent away, others there for the conversation, and Dumbles AFTER getting info from the Norwegian ministry, saying he "would COME for Sirius", meanwhile saying Sirius should stay on the ship.
Unless you going to have Dumbledore obliviating several people, I'm NOT following how he's pulling this scheme off, and using Granger and Fudge as shields to keep his own hand supposedly either "clean" or untarnished if the whole scheme, however he expects it to go "successfully", blows up. Nor HOW his scheme to "GET" Harry under his thumb is suppose to work.
Sirius was Gryffindor cannon fodder STUPID to not call Fudge's bluff even if Fudge wasn't bluffing, he could always TRADE himself for Harry later, and REALLY, ARRESTING and prosecuting THE SAVIOUR just returned from the dead and all. IT was dramatic, but characters NOT very smart, like Kakaroff NOT leaving the ladder down and telling Harry to GET onboard. Or at least saying NO one can enter the ship without him admitting them. IT's dramatic and stokes Dumbles and Fudge hate and all, but weak in Dumbles plan NOT failing.
Dumbles KNEW they can't get onboard, so HOW was the plan suppose to work. You'd think Harry being there would be part of his plan, using Harry as bait to get Sirius off the ship. Instead you have Dumbles ready to NOT let Harry be arrested if Sirius didn't surrender.
YES, he's a fifteen year old and against Madeye and a squad of aurors, but Dumbles wasn't involved. Harry going down a little less easy I think ... would be better.
Considering going on three years DOA MIA roadkill abandoned "rewrite", whatever, I'm not going to comment much more.
Lots of weaknesses past few chapters I think.
Kakaroff is a judge, is Dumbles senile? Or are all to think he just likes giving girls an excuse of Harry's 1st task scroes, to go visit Harry, first Ginny and then Hermione, BOTH with Harry's "scores" when Kakaroff is one of the judges and can tell Harry, how dense are the two girls?
Another example, Hermione all so dramatically looks at her feet to MISS the Dumbles look of triumph...how dramatic. Then later she keeps being STUPID in not suspecting she's a pawn and a fool, as she recalls the look of triumph of Dumbles face, which she NEVER saw. And would the scheming SOB SHOW such a look anyway or keep his poker face intact?
It's fanfic, WHY NOT have a NON-deatheater Headmaster, DUMP the canon deatheater Kakaroff.
Unless you did a nice flip, Snape a faux lapdog spy of Dumbles and actual loyal Deatheater, and Kakaroff an actual spy for other governments and NOT a loyal deatheater, it otherwise is ODD, drinking buddies and pals, Sirius and a deatheater, and letting Harry attend a school with a headmaster that is a deatheater.
Well, though abandoned, thanks for the entertainment and distraction with this massive abandoned "rewrite".
A final funny comment that went in my head the way I now shall share it. A stretch that THIS ostracized Hermione would NOT be more UNtrusting, cunning, not so respectful in letting Dumbles use her so easily. Considering how abused by not just Draco and company but Ron and Gryffindor. Which by the way, it was odd how in some ways, the Gryffs, Neville and girls, talking about what happened in potions, the sexual slurs and slander, but NONE thought or had courage or cared, not even Neville to tell McGonnagal what happened and what Snape LET go on and on. Back on point. I thought about how THIS non-canon Hermione should be more suspicious of Dumbles, not trusting in authority figures like fanfic cliche and nonfanfic canon Hermione is so damn authority figure worshiping and overly respectful, even of the bastard Snape at times...sheesh.
***punchline*** then I realized, WAIT a minute!" ACTUALLY this Hermione is NOT all that UNcanon, because LOOK at the injustice and crap the "authority figures" let go ON and ON in canon. From Draco constant insults and vile crap, to Snape's insults, from "know it all" to shit like claiming she didn't look any different when Draco had hit her with the teeth growing hex.
FUNNY as I was thinking THIS fic Hermione should be more different from canon and how "respectful" and so easily DUPED by authority ecetera she would be, YET really, the authorities are NOT all that different from canon in most ways AND Hermione in the fanfic is not that much worse abused and ridiculed, ostracized, than canon Hermione. So my criticism and argument burned up before launch. She would have needed or could have been less canon of a character, but all and all, even with a worse "life" at school than canon, a canon Hermione could be expected to NOT be all that different. So my beginning of making a criticism blew up.
I would hope though, if this story had not died, that Hermione would not die in a pool of her own self recrimination and guilt and lay the blame on Dumbles and LOSE 99% of canon Hermione respect and trust in authority figures.
| jCOOLn chapter 2 . 3/27
I liked the story, its just those large paragraphs that contain so much individual conversations and motions make it a bother to read. Other than that though I am enjoying the story so far.
| Drinking 101 chapter 4 . 3/4
That scene where they get drunk? When you are used to drinking, and even sometimes when it's your first time if you have enough muscles, you can't get totally pissed out of only one third of a bottle of whiskey, I'm not even sure if a whole bottle of whiskey would let a sixteen year old get to that state of drunkenness. Furthermore, alcohol cannot get a person to imagine things, you can't see things distorted of see things that aren't there with alcohol, you just see things a bit blurry and can't understand the concept of dimensions and distances, you lose hand eye coordination and all of your inhibitions. I'm inclined to believe that the bottle was laced, as only some drugs would have the effects you described (they are illegal so I'm not telling you drug recommendations over the Internet). Still, mixing drugs with alcohol usually makes people (it happens to the people I know at least) end up in a comatose state. That's what happened to Harry at the end, when he blacked out, I'm sorry to tell you but blacking out from alcoholic intake is not like in the movies, you can drink and not remember parts of the night and still be safe, however when you pass out (not fall asleep, but pass out, as in your eyes rolling backwards and stuff), then you need to be taken to the hospital ASAP, since you could be in a coma, something that is incredibly dangerous and for which they would need to get some liquid thing pumped into you via an elbow syringe that doctors stick in there, also, depending on what you were having the night before, going into a coma (which is what happens when you pass out from alcohol) can make the doctors have to pump your stomach. I'm telling you this just so you know, since I gathered from that scene that you didn't have much experience with alcohol and it's effects. Other than that amazing story, congratulations!
| Guest chapter 13 . 1/4
Why won't you finish the story
| unknown chapter 13 . 10/31/2014
I hate you. Why didn't you finish the story?
| Mackenzied3333 chapter 13 . 8/29/2014
| willam and jack and jake chapter 6 . 7/25/2014
| willam and jack and jake chapter 5 . 7/25/2014
nice very well done
| willam and jack and jake chapter 4 . 7/25/2014
| willam and jack and jake chapter 3 . 7/25/2014
| willam and jack and jake chapter 2 . 7/25/2014
| willam and jack and jake chapter 1 . 7/24/2014
| Guest chapter 13 . 7/16/2014
will there be more ?
| bill560682 chapter 7 . 7/10/2014
fans of dumbledore i like to tell them that no matter how light sided you write dumbledore you can not get past the fact that he has kept 3 high ranking spots when people like malfoy have wanted to get rid of him and the only way to do that is to have more dirt on people then the dark families and be willing to use it to keep his jobs. the first thing voldimort would do is gather all the dirt his dark followers have to get rid of those in the government he does not like such as dumbledore but dumbledore is still in power which proves he has more dirt then all the dark families put together and is not affaid to use it.