|Reviews for Worst|
| ForUrEntertainment chapter 1 . 10/2/2013
That was nice. :)
| Dominus Tenebrosus chapter 1 . 1/18/2013
I'd like to start by noting that I do my reviews a bit differently than most, in that I have a sort of 'rolling commentary' where I give my thoughts on what I'm reading at that very moment, followed up by some general thoughts at the end. I'd also like to say that I chose this particular story for a couple reasons. First, I've actually seen (parts of) it before, albeit that was a very long time ago. Second, it's not from a show I either have no intention to watch, or want to watch and don't want spoilers. So... Eh, make of that one what you will. Anyway, moving on...
"the class to hear." -An interesting way to start the story, good for those familiar with the fandom... I think the only complaint I'd have, is that it would perhaps be better if you put everyone's actions on their own line.
""What is the worst" -Loaded question.
"truth isWhen we" -Firstly, there's a typo there, just thought you might want to know that. Secondly, this is a bit confusing to read. The issue though, is the same as mentioned in the previous bit; the way the dialogue is, it's hard to tell who's saying what. Had to read it a couple times to be sure.
"be torn. He sighed" -Hmm, sudden timeskip. Might benefit from having a scene change break in there, just to keep it from seeming too sudden. There might also be a tense issue in the second sentence; I'm not entirely sure about that one, though.
"too long. It must" -Heh. Goes without saying that it must be a big one.
"through the same pain."" -Yeah, that's a doosie, for sure.
"By now the entire" -So... He just endangered everyone, then? I have to admit, I'm a bit confused... Couldn't he have just made something up, in that event? Character flaw perhaps? I can't quite remember.
"them with the others." -Dark thought.
My, this review seems awful negative... That's not the intention, it's an interesting concept, it's just that I think that there might be some work needed from the technical side of things. I assume that has improved over time, but admittedly I don't have a basis on which to say, one way or the other.
But yes, interesting concept. I suppose if a character has a flaw of being unable to tell a lie, that's one way to throw a monkey wrench into whatever plans they have. :P
Good stuff. :)
| Stratofarius chapter 1 . 12/7/2012
Gotta start this by saying I don't really know Detective Conan. Haven't watched/read it, but I think it allows me to take a look at this little fanfic and analyse it in a different way. Feedback's always great, especially from different kinds of people.
I have to say I didn't really like it. Apart from one or two errors, the SPAG was pristine, so you've got a thumbs up in that. It's just that... the way the story felt. Again, this may because I don't know what it's based on. But as a story, I felt like there were some things that made me go "eh". Like for example: no one ever stops to ask "why is a 11-year old saying this kind of stuff that sounds more like it came from an Edgar Allan Poe book?" Why doesn't the teacher investigate any further on why Conan had the freakout? And you would think that after such a freakout, the teacher wouldn't make him continue with his presentation, right? I mean, the kid just ran out of the room and screamed, out of nowhere. I know "you can't switch topics", but come on, look at what the kid did. Then again, I may be terribly wrong on all of this.
Apart from those questions, everything felt rushed. It started with the kid freaking out and then suddenly, kablam, we're in the presentation. What happened between that? What was the process of making the transformation? Also, the actual sequences at the beginning and at the end. They were just dialogue. Were the characters angry, or sad, or just monotone? I literally imagined Conan giving the speech in complete monotone. It lacked detail and in the end it just fell rushed.
And once more, you may prove me completely wrong and make me look like an idiot by saying "the actual anime/manga/TV show explains why you're wrong", but from a non-Conan fan standpoint, it felt like wasted potential. Like someone offered me a bucket full of candy that looked delicious and tasted good, but after a few minutes you start to realize the taste wasn't that good, and that it could have been better.
| Meitantei ChibiMoonPhantom chapter 1 . 4/8/2007
SO. AMAZINGLY. SAD. AND. DEPRESSING!
Please continue writing, I love reading all your work.