Reviews for Lucki
anonymous chapter 1 . 1/13/2013
What shoddy writing utterly ridiculous this is the worst piece of crap I read.
OrgasmicYaoi chapter 13 . 8/1/2012
This is the most disgusting fanfic ever. You have so many errors its not funny. If you spam people you are nothing but a jerk -_-" Get a life
Dark waffles chapter 1 . 1/13/2012
I don't get it you yell at me for having errors and spam me all day, yet your own work has like twenty of them lol
Diztenxe chapter 3 . 4/30/2011
Good story but please check your spelling. You should go back and fix your writing because so far i've seen so many grammatical errors.
Brendan Rizzo chapter 13 . 10/12/2010
Well, I read this earlier and realized what you were doing, but even then it was kind of difficult to see exactly what the problem was until it was spelled out. I don't know if that's because I can be quite dense or if it's a flaw in the storytelling, but once I did realize what was happening it all made sense. On the other hand, it's perfectly possible that you intended for the readers to be unable to determine exactly what was amiss. If that's the case, then you did a good job. I knew something strange was going on in Chapter 1, but due to the way the story was told, forgot about the really Sueish elements until they resurfaced. And nice numerological motif there; not only does the journey last for 13 days, but things start going wrong at Chapter THIRTEEN. My only real problem with this is that the ending seemed a little tacked-on there. Awakening Kyogre did not mean the end of the world in the games.
YourConscienceOnMute chapter 13 . 8/22/2010
To start off, I want to say that I first read this story and its explanation some time ago. When I finished it then, I wrote up a review based on what I had picked up during that read through only to have lost it in some way I don't remember. When I came across your profile again I remembered the major criticisms I'd had of the story, but I'm not so clear on the details anymore, so I apologise if I get some of those wrong in my review.

First of all, I'd like to say thank you for writing a story with such lovely characters. I enjoyed reading about most of them. My exception? Absol. Now, Lucki is an excellent deconstruction of the cliche pokemon trainers who always turn up smelling like roses, and just what kind of effect that trainer would have on their pokemon. But I was still rooting for her the entire time. She's a genuinely caring person, as shown in the ending, and though she has her flaws of naivete and insensitivity, I liked her the most out of every character in the story.

My problems were with the pokemon who 'knew better' and could see the damage she was doing to her pokemon by responding to them wrongly, but did nothing to help her. Vague hints do not real advice make - it just looked like they were taunting her. That Lucki didn't see something very wrong for herself makes her look extremely unobservant, but the 'wiser' pokemon (Absol in particular, as I recall) mean-spirited, hateful and entirely unsympathetic. Even after I understood what the tragedy of the story was supposed to be I was hoping for someone to come in and point out to absol just how much of an awful jerk it was. Lucki is not the kind of person I would choose to raise such powerful, human-like beings as pokemon (the way you portray them, at any rate), but I think it's a bit of a shame that the story focussed on her personal flaws as opposed to the flaws in a system that would make her look like an ideal trainer, or the way those flaws impeded her pokemon training rather than stopping it entirely. Trust me, during this story, knowing what you meant to do with it? I was still rooting for Lucki.

I know it's not really my place to make recommendations, as a reviewer of a long-finished story, but I believe this would have been much more interesting if, aside from the tired old deconstructions of the cliche pokemon trainer, there had been a reconstruction to follow. The ending as you wrote it seems as though it's lacking something - a 'what's next,' I suppose. You're certainly talented enough to write something like that, since even while I was reading a story with a point that I didn't think you successfully pulled off, I couldn't just stop reading it. I actually found Lucki a more enjoyable read than your other stories (though the Unoriginality series, though which I heard of you, is still my favourite) because of the prose. You may like dark or tragic stories, but I liked the mostly light-hearted tone of this story more.

Ah, now that I've thoroughly exhausted my memory and possibly offended you into ignoring my review, I think it's only fair to say that I understand the point you were trying to make and agree with it entirely. A well-written and very entertaining story on the whole, and thank you for posting it.
SwiftintheSky chapter 7 . 6/30/2010
So finally, the anticipated twist comes! Although how this will become a tragedy, I'm not yet sure. It's very good, and after reading Unoriginality 1 it was easy to spot the cliques. ;) This story is awesome... I have to keep reading!
Chang-Tong chapter 13 . 4/24/2010
My... this work of tragedy is beautiful in it's own way. Now, let's get to the review, shall we? ;D

First of all: Lucki. At the opening first chapter, I had a sneaking suspicion that she's somewhat of a Mary-Sue, based on her stunning appearance alone. XD I have a Mary-Sue bell inside my head that rings if an OC in a story is a Mary-Sue or not... but in this case, the ring this time is only faint. I wanted to read more before I can make any conclusion... afterall, I can't just leave a potentially good story just based on the OC's appearance, right? Lol.

But now after finishing the story, she's somewhat of a... um... a Sue that's decent in their own way, and not unbearably annoying like the one you see in fics written be untalented kids. XD She's responsible for bringing the end of the world, somwhat.

As a trainer, she's okay and good at the beginning. She's friendly with her pokemon and talks with them like friends do. Overtime however, she has started to lost touch with them, and outright ignores their own problems. She is solely concentrated on winning battles, and badges, and stopping Team Aqua until she's blinded with those things only.

Even though you have not pointed it out, I'm sure you hadve written it that way so that us readers can spot out the flaws and mistakes by ourselves, which I'm pretty happy for. :D Afterall, Lucki can't think about it in her mind if she's unaware of her own mistakes.

I immediately started to sense problems abrewing when she started showing annoyance towards Flare's abilities in battles, not comforting poor young Raiden after he's had his nightmare, and totally ignoring Silver's and Saurius' problems and unspoken wishes respectively. Even at the end, she doesn't understand what Irin was trying to tell her until it's too late, and Kyogre was raised.

She had believed that she was the "good-guy' in everything, and she's fighting for only the best of the world. Ironically, it was all her own fault in the end.

I had absolutely loved this story, especially with it's own uniqueness. Though I'm still rather curious about the unspoken story about Flare and that man he had ran off with.

Scholar of Emeralds chapter 13 . 12/20/2009
Wow, this was a very interesting story...
Kikimaster chapter 1 . 12/1/2009
I don't think you said 'said'. Don't worry, it won't bite you!
Illusion-Factory chapter 1 . 11/15/2009
OH! Lucki! ahaha...I get it now. Man am I slow.
nasty plot chapter 13 . 9/29/2009
That was epically incredible.
U2845671 chapter 13 . 6/12/2009
That was stunningly well done. There was always an undercurrent of something not being quite right, yet it was never out in the open enough to pinpoint what it was. I only really started noticing a major problem when Lucki completely ignored Silver's problems, and then began to emotionally abuse Flare, albeit in ignorance rather than through malice (not a defence, but perhaps slightly less despicable, although, when you think about it, is it worse to be a person that is so self centred so as to ignore the problems of others or to realise they're there but not care. But I digress).

This particular fandom has no much potential for the characters in the stories. The psychological issues raised by yanking a creature out of its world, essentially, and thrusting it into constant fighting, and the overcoming of them, could create such a rich story. Had Lucki been more sensitive and responsive to what her pokemon needed, and had this been serious, the overcoming of the problems she would have faced, as well as character interaction, could have created a cast of truly intriguing characters. I lament that I don't have the skill to do a story such as that justice.

Oh well. Mediocrity is the way of the world.
Loki the Wolf-Fox chapter 1 . 1/7/2009
I know this is meant ti be a farce or something on commeon story traits...

But I can't read this chapter.

I'm sorry, cya.
Bay Alexison chapter 13 . 1/5/2009
Since I've been using this story as examples for quite some time and also remembering our discussions over sues and all (er...this is Bay/bay115 from Serebii/LJ, lol), guess I should have a quick review on this story. Gosh I'm lazy when comes to FFnet reviews...

I admit, at first I didn't read the story when it was posted in Serebii and instead just look at the updates and the reviews (done that with other fics) just to see how it's going. After the whole explanation though, I began reading it to see what you mean by the reviewers not catching Lucki being a sue and etc. After reading it though, I can see why.

Like a few other reviewers here (only read a few), one of the big things is her being lucky. That kinda make me wish I was lucky like her, lol. Another thing is of Lucki's treatment to her Pokemon. I admit, kinda surprise the Serebii reviewers didn't mention anything about how harsh she treated them and that she didn't pay attention to them (I would too if I reviewed the fic before you did the explanation of this story). Though not all stories have to be of trainers need to be all treating their Pokemon like kings and queens, guess the thing you're going for is if anyone can spot some illogical behavior going on.

One thing I want to point out is the ending. True, I get where you're coming from with that. You want to show how pretty much a Sue starts out a Sue and ends a Sue since the story revolves around her the whole time. Seriously, I thought you did well with Lucki's crying river to hit home that indeed she's a Sue. I felt though you rushed it a bit, as if you want to get to the finale quickly. I think you could have had the Pokemon leave one by one more slowly instead of all of a sudden in one chapter to give it more of a suspense effect and to have the readers guessing what is going on. That's just me, though.

I say, interesting how you did a parody by having Lucki not look like a Sue when indeed she is and able to fool a lot of us. Makes me think twice on how to create my characters (and I should thank you once again on our discussions with Sues and other fanfic stuff). Um...sorry if I misinterpret anything, kinda tired now after a long day, heh. That and probably I should go back and read the explanation again one day, lol.
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