|Reviews for Laws of Attraction|
| StarryNight359 chapter 1 . 8/11/2013
haha Fiyero had the key all along? Sneaky.
Well, I liked it :)
| greengirl16 chapter 1 . 8/10/2008
haha loved it xD
| Tyrmer chapter 1 . 3/9/2008
Just thought I'd browse my reviewers stories. I like Fiyero's wicked side in this fic.
| yerosmyhero chapter 1 . 11/27/2007
Aw. I think it was cute! *sigh* love fiyeraba!
| Zarrian chapter 1 . 9/7/2007
Cute...very good characterization. One thing: you really like the word, 'inwardly.' 'he swore inwardly...' 'she groaned inwardly... You know how it is... great job, and sorry I didn't catch this before... i was just browsing the ffdn archives, and found this... bye Bomba!
| Anglerfish chapter 1 . 9/3/2007
I love this! Especially the ending...I've got an enormous fangirl grin on my face right now. It's so cute! Fiyero is so...Fiyero-ish. I can just picture him doing something like that.
| Norah Reaves chapter 1 . 7/1/2007
Don't you tell me that you can't do romance girl. Because- you most definitly can. I'm here right now typing this and squeeing like the shameless fangirl I am much to the dismay of my brother (he's covering his ears currently) and I'm loving every minute.
You've got Elphaba's sheer bluntness-yet-shyness down WONDERFULY, and lets not forget about Fiyero's cocky-yet-not-quite-as-dumb-as-you-think attidude that I love so much. (Geez, there were alot of hyphons in that sentance...)
It was just downright excellent. There were however acouple of spelling errors but nothing that can't be fixed with a double-read.
Great job. I can't really say much of anything else.
| AFY chapter 1 . 6/24/2007
Just so you know, the ending is making me grin like an idiot now. So typically Fiyero as I'm sure someone already said. Anyways, cute and despite a few grammatical flaws, very well-written. To put it simply-I loved every minute of it.
| J.T chapter 1 . 6/3/2007
i dont understand why people are criticizing this! its so good, and who cares about a few grammatical errors, its really nice, fluent writing. you probably don't want to hear this *again* but i loved the lyrics you threw int ehre and the ending was so nice. Totally unexpected, and definately something Fiyero would do.
| floridfeyfay chapter 1 . 4/29/2007
I loved it! The ending really surprised me and I loved, loved, loved the lyrics you threw in there! It was great!
| Elpheen chapter 1 . 4/19/2007
Apart from the occasional grammatical/typing error, this was wicked! (pun very much intended...sorry :p )
You kept them both in character really well, and the ending was just perfect; so...Fiyero! It's just typical of him to be mischievous like that.
And I liked all Elphaba's explanations...made a lot of sense )
| Fae2135 chapter 1 . 4/18/2007
This was grand. Really. I adored it. I second the grammar points that WickedJelly mentioned, but the idea is fantastic, and it flowed very nicely. And the end literally made me laugh out loud. Fiyero *would* do something like that, the sneaky boy. Not that I'd mind being locked in a closet with him, of course... but I bet Elphaba is mad as hell. LOL. I'd love to see her reaction if you decide to continue this. *hint hint*
| ThexInvisiblexGirl chapter 1 . 4/17/2007
haha that was rather cute! i wouldn't mind being locked in a closet with Fiyero *sighs dreamily*
watch out, you're missing quite a lot of comas, but the dialogue was very fluent and quite in-character, which is good. i couldn't understand why you put 'angst' up there though- it didn't seem angsty to me at all. maybe romance/humor is more suitable.
lol constructive criticism all the way. yay for naughty!Fiyero
| omg.it's.wickedjelly chapter 1 . 4/17/2007
HAHAHAHAHA! Oh, that sneaky, devious Fiyero! I luff him. :)
Anywho, I pretty much loved this. Which is why it will be living in *my* Favorite's box from now on and forever more.
Unfortunately for you, however, I am in the nitpickiest-of-nitpicky moods, so...if what I'm saying is stupid, just ignore me. :D
Uno: You're getting a lot better on taking your hand off the italics button (Ah! It beckons, it calls!) but there were still some instances in which yet another slanty word kind of distracted me. But never fear, it's not horrible. Just...not amazing? But I know you're trying. :) And on a small side note, BOMBA! YOU'RE AND YOUR ARE DIFFERENT! I will have to go over there and be your mantra-chanter. ;)
Dos: Some comma usage errors, but most importantly -
She looked at him intrigued.
He looked at her confused.
She looked at him, intrigued.
He looked at her, confused. *or* something like, He looked at her in confusion.
Tres y finalmente: Capitalization stuffers. I can't explain it, I've tried, so hopefully my example will be enough. :P
“Elphie?” He asked again nervously.
"Elphie?" he asked again nervously.
You got it? Like, you don't capitalize the first letter after the closing quotation mark? Heh. I hope I make sense.
Anywho, that was long, and I totally enjoyed the cleverly-put in Wicked lyrics. :)
| WhisperedMuse chapter 1 . 4/17/2007
'Maybe I'm brainless, maybe I'm wise' -ALAYM! Love it!
'You seem perfect, I'm perfect, so we're perfect together' - born to be forever dancing through life! Sorry...Lol. I loved the ending too, all the dialogue, the kiss, then him opening the door because he had the key the whole time. I would be so annoyed if I was Elphaba, shocked aswell, but very annoyed once that had worn off. I loved it ;)
This would be a very interesting WIP if you decided to coninue. I would definately read it!