|Reviews for Final Fantasy VII The Return Of The Cetra|
| Melissa Fairy chapter 2 . 7/6
Cloud intro is a bit unnatural...
| Melissa Fairy chapter 1 . 7/6
you should add an OC tag...
| CatLoverx33 chapter 25 . 10/19/2013
| tttttttttrrrrrrreeee chapter 11 . 4/7/2013
Okay... I've read through a portion of your story...
Hmm... The following is a bit of helpful critic. It isn't intended for hurtful or harmful purposes, only to provide insight.
You have an interesting idea. It's a stereotypical ''OC' is incredibly special' basis, but you have room to make an intriguing plot-line. I feel as though you aren't using this bonus to it's full ability. The transitions are confusing, and the writing can be quite choppy. You don't take enough time to allow ideas to ease in, instead rushing the reader from thought to thought. Development is pushed far too quickly. In this chapter, Cloud confesses his love for your OC, but I don't feel he has reason to. She hasn't demonstrated any real attraction to him, nor has she done much to merit his affections. I can see, perhaps, a small interest being peeked at this point, but not at the speed you have it going. It might make sense if it were, say, an attraction as a result of her being a reincarnation. That, though, would be a more physical attraction than anything. Cloud isn't a shallow character; he's also quite aloof and often (as we see through the video game) a moody little sourpuss. The Cloud you write about in your story doesn't come off as the same Cloud from Final Fantasy. You've warped his personality a bit, and while it's inevitable that some changes are made, since you've placed an OC in the story, I wouldn't suggest pushing it as much as you are.
I hope this doesn't come off too harshly... I'm critiquing this because I feel you could have a wonderful story on your hands, if you're willing to go back and fix things. Slow down, relax your plot, and pace yourself for character development.
I'd love to see this story grow to be a very well made Fanfiction! :)
| Crystal-Wolf-Guardain-967 chapter 27 . 3/24/2012
i loved it!
| Anna Crosszeria chapter 10 . 4/8/2011
LOL I'm laughing my socks off here! XDDDDD
| Alexandria Volturi chapter 1 . 8/10/2010
Chapter one was great
| Ray-nee-chan chapter 27 . 12/11/2009
i love dis ! itz soo cool ! really!
| Nomannic chapter 18 . 12/16/2008
Good story so far, but a tip for this chapter: her wounds are impracticle with her being able to move Cloud and everything. She should be falling unconcious and practically bleeding to death, no matter how deep her injuries are.
No offense meant by this. I quite like your story, though it is a little fast.
| agesofaquarius chapter 27 . 6/26/2008
That was one awesome story. I was reading all of it in one day. MUST. READ. SEQUEL! *goes and reads it* _ Great job on it!
| Twilight the Gecko chapter 27 . 5/8/2008
Hmm, not a bad story overall...personally I thought using Cloud's 'there's not a thing I don't cherish' line was kinda corny but it didn't take away too much from the ending chapter. I don't like to be this harsh sounding but I think healthy criticism is good for a growing writer. Don't let what I say get you down please, that's not my intentions.
| Twilight the Gecko chapter 16 . 5/8/2008
Ahem...NO! CLOUD HOW COULD YOU! Sephiroth you bastard I'M GONNA KILL YOU MUAHAHAHAHAH WITNESS THE WRATH OF ZACK'S SISTER SHADOW!
| Twilight the Gecko chapter 12 . 5/8/2008
Wow...short plan...but when you've got freakishly strong and fast friends, there's not much to worry about now is there...
| Twilight the Gecko chapter 11 . 5/8/2008
Is'nt Cloud a little old for a sixteen year old?
| TurtleFeathers chapter 27 . 9/3/2007
Pretty Sweet, pretty sad. Are you doing a sequal?