|Reviews for Pen Pals|
| Kagome141414 chapter 6 . 5/10/2011
Can't wait for this one two! :)
| BookWormSara chapter 6 . 5/26/2010
i am leaning toward hiei/oc but i also like the kurama/oc pairing you got going as well like ur story hope you update soon.
| indiefilms chapter 6 . 3/25/2010
Interesting chapter. Especially how Hiei and the others basically lectured Jenine- but in a good way of concern and not blatant rudeness with guilt trips.
"The fox growled lightly in his mind. Well, listen up, Red! At the festival, YOU better make a move! I'm talking total lip to lip action! If you don't, then I'll take over and do it myself!" - Obviously thinking only of the physical elements of a relationship. Here's the grabber from Suichi, "YOUKO! I don't want to do anything that she might not consent to..." - SUPERB FOCUS... EXCELLENT RESPONSE... BRAVO. I would shake his hand FIRMLY on that one. BRAVO...
Interesting what Hiei did near the latter of the chapter. Tisk tisk tisk... Hiei- you tricky demon... lol...
| indiefilms chapter 5 . 3/25/2010
Close call. Hiei did the right thing following Jenine otherwise she would have ended up being brutalized and not just literally either. Good action sequences with focussed detail.
| indiefilms chapter 4 . 3/25/2010
It was good that Suichi, Yusuke and Kuwabara came to the rescue of Jenine before things got really ugly, as well as emotionally and mentally scarring. Good that those three bullies got the tar kicked out of them. Awesome how Suichi was fully 'at the ready' to provide emotional relief to Jenine after the event when she was shaken up and seemingly struggling for breath. These chapters so far are all evenly paced and smooth. Good work.
| indiefilms chapter 3 . 3/25/2010
"But look at her! Youko purred. Those beautiful wide eyes, those pouty lips, that flawless flace. That awesome body... can you imagine waking up with that beside you, or even better, hearing that sweet voice of hers calling out your name while..." - Your typical numbers player who looks at females as "objects or trophies for release" rather than "creatures with wants, needs, feelings and choices".
"ENOUGH! Suichi shouted in his mind, desperately trying to block out the images of Youko's fantasies and trying to stave off arousal. I'm not doing it and that's final! Now no more of this!" - Good man. It shows how self disciplined and mature he can be.
"Suichi was barely able to keep himself from sighing in exasperation. When the time is right, I will have sex with a woman of MY choice, Youko. It's MY body you're inhabiting, after all. And there are certain requirements that I feel should be met... not out of selfishness, but out of necessity." - AGREED. I would also say "growth", "peace", "purity" and "integrity". Suichi goes on, "Besides, telling Jenine about our circumstances might put her in danger. You KNOW that we have powerful enemies, both in Makai and here on Earth..." and an cool statement here when he says, "..And I do NOT want this innocent young woman to be put in any sort of danger, and I know you don't either!" - His focus and reasoning are excellent.
| indiefilms chapter 2 . 3/25/2010
Cory was a little annoyance I see. But he's just a boy so he could be cut some slack. Funny how she chased after him up the stairs telling him that when she catches him he'll be drinking through a straw. Jenine was embarrassed left and right from her brother and parents.
When Cory said, "Come on, you've gotta have a thing for one of them. You sure your pen pal's not interested? Ugly as he is, you HAVE been writing him for the past seven years... Did you have any letter sex going on, or were you saving it for a face to face... encounter...?" - That was hilarious.. Especially when he found out how 'red hot' Jenine's buttons were getting.
| indiefilms chapter 1 . 3/25/2010
Jenine looks like an interesting character. She's got straight "A"s, knows several languages and takes extra university courses to kill her boredom. Nice. Cool. lol...
"Is he the annoying, grumpy, foul mouthed midget who's always irritating you?" Hiei's eyes snapped open in shock and flashed dangerously, while Yusuke and Suichi laughed and Kuwabara nodded. "Yup. That's the one." - LOL... That was amusing..
| DaAmazingMeepers chapter 6 . 3/22/2009
Not bad so far. A bit too much swearing for my tastes, and the OC seems like a Mary Sue, but otherwise not bad. More soon please!:3
| Dyani91 chapter 6 . 3/5/2009
i like pur thats an interesting plot twist
| SS-lover06 chapter 6 . 9/27/2008
| Yorukifon chapter 6 . 6/15/2008
OH my gosh! *squeal* Matchmaking Hiei...now THAT I gotta see...I can barely imagine that..please update soon, I seriously don't care that you haven't updated in at least a year I wanna continue reading this.
| ROGMethos chapter 6 . 7/29/2007
Oh My, I didn't think Hiei had it in him. Now I wanna now whats going to happen next. Can't wait for the next chapter!
| The-New-Akatsuki-Leader chapter 6 . 6/3/2007
wow very nice very nice in deedy do! can't wait for more~~!
| The Adventures of chapter 6 . 6/2/2007
wow i really liked that chapter but it would have been funny if she'd been killed over printer paper...