Reviews for 6th Division: Rebirth
Guest chapter 7 . 9/19/2013
nice
norishima chapter 3 . 9/15/2011
The Vita scenes were... [insert whatever word for "brilliant" you want]! I STILL have a huge grin upon my face after reading that "Okay... 'Mommy'" line.

I thoroughly enjoyed your depiction of Teana's struggle to come to terms with her feelings.

I'll have to admit that reading through Caro's belly-dance was a little awkward for me, so I let my imagination drift to a cuter, more innocent, Hawaiian type of dance.

Also, i wonder when it was that you wrote the Takamachi-Caro/Nanoha scene. Was it after or before watching Nanoha become Vivio's mother?

Ot:Fate's racing reminded me of smiggers' "Need For Speed" fanfic.
norishima chapter 2 . 9/15/2011
Hm... very intriguing indeed. After stepping upon a Mercurianangel drawing for this fic, I'm really looking forward to seeing how dark you will go with Nanoha's condition.

On a smaller note, this chapter needs some proof-reading as others have pointed out, but i'm not here to bust your _. I only want to point your attention towards the scene were Vice explains to Nanoha why he didn't lose their bet:

"Hey!" he gasped. "No way, you let one through!"

"I did!"

I believe you meant to write "I did not."
Star Shatterer chapter 2 . 8/11/2010
lol I believe I actually get the 'day' reference... Final Fantasy XI right? and as a .hack/g.u. fan I appriciate the naming lmao
Yami Kero chapter 2 . 4/25/2009
I found this chapter to be quite amusing. I found this actually through the shoujo-ai fanfiction archive so...yeah. I've read this a couple of times. I find the story to be pretty interesting and it was quite clever of you to try and insert the characters from dot hack / G.U. in there as well.

I noticed that in one of your chapters, you seemed to have added parts from a movie called "The Transporter", particularly the rules in regards to transporting.

Overall...this story is pretty good. You sort of gave me an idea with the whole night club idea. So...once I upload one of my chapters...I'm giving a shoutout of thanks to you for that one.
gunfus chapter 1 . 2/18/2009
Wow, this was great.

I actually read this quite some time ago but never wrote a review. Then since I was bored I decided to read it again and take the chance to write it when it's fresh in my mind. This I managed to put off a bit too, but now I'll do it! :)

First, (I've written this in the review for 'Saved by the bell', but) I LOVE 'slice-of-life'. Although this is more in line with the canon universe you really managed to describe casual situations wonderfully. It's nice to see how most of them had time for their private lives and not all job, like in the anime.

Something that really stuck was the minor fight between our lovely ladies. Stressed out like normal people they fought over trivial things like no coffee at home. Ok, it was not the actual fight that really stuck, it was the amazingly sweet make up with the card and big teddy bear. :D I'm a sucker to those kind of things.

I liked how Elio called Nanoha 'aunt', like they already were kind of family together with Fate. What can I say, 'domestic lesbian bliss'! :D

I also cannot not talk about Fuji. Great idea, it really helped flesh out everyones private lives a lot. A bar tending Elio and drunk Caro. :)

Then we have the more action oriented story. Well, the standard is high of course. The training sessions felt 'realistic' (as far as you can call it that, using magic weapons and all). It made sense and was interesting to read about.

Then about the main story. I would easily change the animes script with yours. I liked Skeith, an interesting character made even more interesting by possessing Nanoha. It builds up for a sequel (that I've read already but will leave that to a separate review).

The proposal. Wow. It was great! Don't know what to write, wish I was there to experience it for real :D No, seriously, I don't know what else to write than that it was so very sweet and fitted them perfectly.

As always, I want to reserve the right to have forgotten many completely awesome things that should be here. ;)

And this: " 'It’s okay,' Nanoha pulled her down onto the bed, obviously more awake now. 'Because,' She whispered up into her ear. 'I have five dollars.' " must be one of the best lines I've EVER read in ANY text! :D
SulliMike23 chapter 7 . 12/21/2008
"Beam me up Scotty"? Where's that from? HAHA Just Kidding! I wouldn't be a Trekkie if I didn't know where that was from.
SulliMike23 chapter 2 . 12/20/2008
Okay, I have to say this was a very funny chapter. I especially love the part where Nanoha says the Sam Adams slogan. Besides, it's the best beer in the world! (I'm a Sam Adams drinker myself)
Mr. Urahara chapter 4 . 11/1/2008
Damn, it's getting hard to take this seriously, being a .hack fan and all. It's a great story, but hell, Nanoha having Skeith is hilarious. I should've known that the title wasn't just a reference to G.U.

I'm hoping I see Sakubo or Atoli later on. WHY WON'T YOU LOOK AT ME and the Lightning duo becoming Bo's new friend would be hilarious.
Zeir chapter 7 . 5/27/2008
"Her black knee high winter boots clicked on the floor as she stood next to her girlfriend on the platform. “Beam me up Scotty!”

-If you don’t know this quote you need to be hit upside the head with a shovel or some other blunt object."

owned

ohmigawd Fate-chan proposed! 'tis so awesome!
Zeir chapter 6 . 5/27/2008
looks like Skeith had a fatal case of Vader Syndrome.

i still can't believe you put -that- Doctor Wily in here. that made me laugh. heheh... Megaman.
Zeir chapter 5 . 5/27/2008
there are... so many cliche'ed sayings in this chapter... it's so awesome!
Zeir chapter 4 . 5/26/2008
Feito-chan! Daisuki!
Zeir chapter 3 . 5/26/2008
um... is Nanoha being trained by arnold schwarzenegger?

just so you know... waltz is three beats, not four.

vita was acting girlishly... it's kinda wierd...

and caro bellydancing would be so cute!
Zeir chapter 2 . 5/26/2008
that's kinda cool, they have 8 days a week... but what about Nanoha! she can't go berserk! she belongs to Fate-chan!
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