|Reviews for Nemesis One Half: Banishment|
| Twigon Halolover chapter 1 . 2/2
It is painfully obvious where you updated some scenes and left others alone.
Really painfully obvious.
| HowlsAtMoons chapter 1 . 10/19/2012
An Excellent story that I couldn't put down. I rate this as a 5/5.
| Ranmaleopard chapter 1 . 4/16/2012
this is really awesome and interesting i cant wait to see what happens next please continue!
| Drac-frst chapter 4 . 11/23/2011
As soon as Ranma got his full memories back, all I could think was "What the hell! What's with the instant personality change, even though you clarify that he *didn't* break this time?" Even at the end here, my question remains unanswered. My questions of "Why the hell is he fighting for Metaria now, when he knows nothing about what she wants" and "Why on earth is he reveling in killing people?" were somewhat answered, if at the very end. The trauma I can buy, but if he believes all of this senseless killing is somehow "fighting the oppression of the moon kingdom" then he's been hit in the head more than a little too much.
Bottom line: when you have drastic decisions or personality changes, you need to explain why, not just assume we understand.
random aside - how on Earth (or Jupiter) did Yuka turn into a Nekomata? And Ranma's explanation of how he knew the Nekomata was Yuka made no sense at all. Hopefully this will be explained at some point...
Honestly, I like a lot of different aspects of this story, but some things really stand out as lacking explanation/rationality, and they make it much harder to enjoy the story.
| ijpowers92 chapter 6 . 4/29/2011
I've never actually heard of Demonota or whatever and have been taking it in stride. Otherwise this has been a surprisingly good fic for me.
I'd be lying (lieing?) if I said it didn't slow down for me during the torture chapters but that was because I was out of my known elements. To be honest I felt about the same way when Ranma was a talking baby.
I was actually surprised when I saw this fic was finished. I read about half-way through recently and the thing is... looking back I could have sworn that was all there was...
Oh well. Looking forward to the sequal.
| Malichite chapter 6 . 4/2/2011
Well I have to say, this is definitely, by FAR, one of the better Ranma/SM stories I've read. The story had some very good flows going through it, and a lot of really good descriptors to exemplify exactly what you were trying to get the reader to picture for themselves.
I haven't read or seen anything on Demonata, but from some of the references, it sounds rather intriguing.
Interlude or not, I really look forward to seeing more from this story line, it DEFINITELY has a lot of appeal, and I can't wait to see more. I'm about to continue onto Nemesis One Half, but just wanted to give my two cents and let ya know how awesome of a story you had since I finished this arc.
Keep it up, the story is really cool, and I like the way you had the characters personalities. I can't wait to see what you do with em all in the future, heh heh.
With respect and affirmation to a fellow author I bid thee adios,
| Shannon Dee chapter 6 . 10/5/2010
I love this story and am very excited that you have taken it up again. Thank you.
| Andrew MacKenzie chapter 6 . 9/3/2010
An excellent story, I like how it all worked out in the end and I must look to see if you made a squeal or not.
| Cyde chapter 1 . 8/30/2010
Interesting that this slipped under my radar for so long.
I like your setup, but I do have to say that I find some of your choices of word usage... puzzling to say the least.
Another thing you may look at touching up is the spelling of character names. Moosse should be Mousse, for instance.
Other than that, it looks interesting enough. Let's see what happens next. :-)
| Kensington chapter 2 . 8/25/2010
Hate to nitpick at this, but since I enjoy the story I figure you may want the feedback.
In this revised chapter, the introduction of Yuka makes me feel as if something is missing. You introduce her by saying "again", although I've never seen her name mentioned previously. Additionally, you refer to her causing a ruckus, which was never seen by the reader.
Other than that, I'm eagerly awaiting the rewrite of the next installment of this series.
| sparky555 chapter 7 . 8/24/2010
Could have left it posted at least.
Hope this new attempt works out!
| Chris ShadowMoon chapter 6 . 8/24/2010
so, just out of curiosity, what mistake DID you make?
| Grinnerz chapter 7 . 8/24/2010
Well, I'll look forward to the new story with equal anticipation to how much I looked forward to this one.
I must admit, I'm curious: what was the mistake in the old chapter two?
| 0takkun chapter 7 . 8/24/2010
Good to see you're picking this one up again, even if it's for a rewrite.
Wherever you get more or less readers it will all depends on what are you going to add/erase from this fic. For instance, the whole torture/demonata backround is really unnecessary (adds too many complications and adds very little to the story), plus IMHO it outright kills the whole "feeling" of a Ranma/SM crossover. Unless you have a Cthulhu universe in mind, the extra darkness is just unneeded.
Hope this helps a bit.
PD: Your age makes little sense to me. How can a 15 year old (at the time) write about torture? It's just not right on so many levels.
| Megatyrant chapter 7 . 8/24/2010
I see. Well, whatever way it turns out, I suspect that it will be an interesting read. I do look forward to seeing how it will turn out. :)