|Reviews for In the Subway|
| FragileAngel12 chapter 2 . 12/16/2011
Wow I really like this story, I hope u continue ! I hope temari let's ino know how gorgeous she is lol.I like the couple of gaara and hinata. But its jus a suggestion for you back ground couple.
| Krabkrab chapter 2 . 12/11/2010
Nice very nice. I like this I hope you update this soon.
| inuyouko chapter 2 . 10/13/2008
god you better update soon or i might have to borrow ino's racket for a moment and hunt you down :) good story by the way
| Black Fang 02 chapter 2 . 10/8/2008
I'm feeding here. Please update this story. I know that sometimes it's a hassle but I want to see more! Oh. Cookies!
| Insomniackid7 chapter 2 . 5/22/2008
Plese tell me your finishing this, I hate to see a fic with so much potential die off in the back of the author's head. Please?
| ChloeJaynee chapter 1 . 2/11/2008
nice :] i just found a new favorite pairing :] keep writing please :]
oh and too the person 2 below me
-get a life
| MidnightStriker chapter 2 . 2/9/2008
The story is coming along great! please continue! :3
| Harlequin de Rustre chapter 2 . 1/20/2008
Your story sucks. Sorry, that's as good critque as I can give.
The dialogue is full of holes, the main characters are more caught up in themselves than the people they consider vain.
And what's with making all of the male characters seem like pervs and assholes? Guys are usually honest and straightfoward, mind you, and they usually aren't that fucked up. The way you describe Temari and Ino, it's like they are being hailed as canonized saints.
Fuck, lady. This story is shit on a hook.
Not only do you demonize men and put the feminine characters on a pedestal, but you write out a crappy dialogue, too. I swear, the reactions and the words said almost don't meet up logically. Please tell me this is your first Fan Fic, and that you'll get better.
Your syntax is fine, but the main ensemble is the story, dammit! I know this sounds very rude and one-sided, but I have no real willpower to give this story props. Please get better at storylines. I'll give you advice: read a few fantasy novels that cost some real money. A Game of Thrones is a good place to start. Not only do you get a feel for true human reactions and dialogue, you also can integrate social politics and sexual tension into the Fan Fics by reading the novel.
If you're going to keep writing the way you do, I'm afraid all you can do is write Yuri lemons. I apologize for assorted insults and graphic language. Please heed my advice.
| Kira Shino chapter 2 . 1/12/2008
PLZ UPDATE! this is really kool! I can't wait to see what happens next!
| sPL3nDiD chapter 2 . 11/18/2007
Splendid fanfiction. Best one that I have read in a long time. Update soon please.
| Brandon E. Lee chapter 2 . 10/22/2007
you are off to a pretty good start. do you plan on making a 3rd chapter? i hope so. i would enjoy it.
| Rawkysand chapter 2 . 9/13/2007
Since you reviewed my story, I thought I'd do the same. _
I like this story, yup yup. Can't wait for the next chapter now that Temari is Ino's roomate!
| Fox-Sama chapter 2 . 9/10/2007
its been so long that I had to go back and reread chapter 1 first and it was still good and now there is a chapter to Im super glad and I hope there will be a less of a wait for the next cuz you have a great plot keep it up
| Billy Rose chapter 2 . 9/9/2007
well, certainly a day from hell for Temari eh?
hopefuly things get better now she's bunking with Temari _
can't wait for the next chap _
| Schwarzwind chapter 2 . 9/8/2007
hey, this was a good chapter.
i thought maybe you had given up on this story because the update took so long, but i guess not! and im very happy about it.
anyway, i look forward to the next chapter :)