Reviews for Orphan
Stephanie Phelps chapter 6 . 8/6/2011
I REALLY LOVE this story! PLEASE update soon and eventually have Jenna and Seto fall for each other!
Stephanie Phelps chapter 6 . 7/14/2011
I REALLY LOVE this! Please update soon! I want to see what happens next!
esue2 chapter 6 . 3/12/2011
i love this fanfiction. please update
esue2 chapter 6 . 3/5/2011
i liked this story and i realy cant wait for the next chapter.
Indiefilms chapter 6 . 5/15/2010
"Kaiba woke, first being aware of something soft and warm pressed up against him. He then became aware of the fact that he was sitting up. He experienced a momentary sense of displacement that one had when waking up in an unfamiliar place, and then slowly opened his eyes. He almost started when he looked down and saw the young woman sleeping against his chest before the memories of what had happened the night before replayed in his mind.

The girl let out a little moan and nestled in closer, still sleeping soundly." - Aaaaw. Must have felt nice to have someone curled beside him like a little child. Lucky man. Cool. What fellow wouldn't like that if it happened to him- someone curling up to him with utmost trust like the one she displayed - and I'm speaking from a totally respectful and clean perspective. Lucky man. lol.

"He carefully moved her, laying the woman down on the couch and removed his jacket, draping it over her as a makeshift blanket. After the night she'd had last night, he'd let her rest for a while longer." - Agreed. Right on. Good man on that sense. I would have done the same thing..

"..He took one last look at her to make sure she was all right, and then turned and left the room.." - Yup. Agreed. Right on.

"I hope I didn't keep you up last night. If I did, I'm..."

His eyes narrowed. "If you say 'I'm sorry,' I'll make sure you regret it one one way or another..."

Her eyes widened slightly in surprise. Then she smirked. "Okay, then. I won't. Instead, I apologize."

Kaiba's own expression turned surprised, and then he smirked right back at her. "You're stubborn."

She smiled. "People say it's one of my better qualities." - LOL... Good exchange. Well put.

Good chapter and it's obvious that Kaiba likes her. She hits hi in a certain and he hits her in a certain way. They seem to push the right buttons with each other. Good story so far bud. Keep going..
Indiefilms chapter 5 . 5/15/2010
Going through someone else's journals is of course a no no. So they will have to find some way of explainging it to Jenna as to what they did. They are going to have to think of something give the awful and painful fact that her PTSD os so out of control that she wants to self terminate. They better have a plan.
Indiefilms chapter 4 . 5/15/2010
As usual, good pace with the dialogue and topics discussed. Right on.

"Her earlier admonition to not scream shattered along with the large window in her room, when a huge branch from a tree flew in, landing right on her feet at the foot of her bed. She felt a burning pain lance up her leg immediately and an insane fear tore through her mind as the wind and rain entered the room, howling like an oncoming train. Her legs were pinned under the large branch, which she quickly tried to shove off her, a terrified scream still emenating from her throat. - TENSE and unexpected. Suspense in a matter of seconds.

Seconds later, the door to her room flew open, Kaiba and his personal assistant, Roland, racing in, their eyes going enormous at the sight. Kaiba shouted at Roland to get the branch off of her and then raced forward, scooping her up the second his order was carried out. The two of them, CEO holding a petrified woman in his arms, raced out of the room and quickly shut the door. Jenna was clinging to the front of Kaiba's jacket like a lifeline, not bothering to hold back as she sobbed in his chest." - TENSE and gripping. On target..
indiefilms chapter 3 . 5/15/2010
Yes it was a tad extreme for those two boys to be expelled the way they were by the principal for a total random accident. Like she said, it's not like they did it on purpose. It was good of Jenna to come to the defense of the two boys to have them reinstated and they ardently apologized which was a good on their part.
indiefilms chapter 2 . 5/14/2010
Excellent detail in how Jenna's recovery process is moving along- in a graphic and painful way. You take your time in providing the necessarily slow pace for her healing steps- situations arising such as i the bathroom, her quiet demeanor as she chooses not to really look at anyone eye to eye. I especially like the stair- incident- explaining how she was going down the stairs, step by step until she got rammed by those two boys who were asleep at the switch while sprinting dow the hallway. Although I don't think an authority figure would explain the graphic details of a traumatic event to a classroom of students, that's not a point I'll dock because it's left for interpretation and left for the benefit of the doubt of the writer as to why that was put in there. So overall, really good chapter. Good pace and smooth precision.
indiefilms chapter 1 . 5/14/2010
What a way to watch her parents die huh? Her father was crushed instantly from the initial impact while her mother was decapitated by the seatbelt, and her head landed right in her daughter's lap..? That's quite the graphic experience alright. That's a memory that will be etched in her mind forever. No doubt why her appetite is next to none, and she wakes up screaming from flashbacks. Post traumatic stress disorder by far after an ordeal like that.

"...her hair was a long chocolate brown, hanging freely down her back and over her shoulders. She wore a plain T-shirt with the Canadian flag on the front and a pair of blue jeans. Her eyes were almond shaped, her lips full." - Hmmmmm... Looks familiar. lol...
Haikemi chapter 6 . 4/17/2010
OMG so~ cute! I'd like to see more Yami moments, though. Please update more soon!
Sayuri chapter 3 . 10/13/2009
May I ask why this story is rated mature? I'm sorry, violence and gore are fine by me, but I keep having to be cautious about what I read cause I'm scared I'll stumble upon lemon...which scares me quite a bit...
Masquerade-Puppeteer chapter 6 . 10/18/2008
I like it! Please update soon, you say only a week, but it has been muck longer then that! Please continue the story!
Sister of the Pharaoh chapter 6 . 4/15/2008
Shadowess 88 chapter 6 . 2/6/2008
Poor Jenna! My goddess, I'd be so traumatized too if I had to go through that ordeal. Bad luck just seemed to follow her around until Kaiba came. Please update when you can! I'm hooked *faves*
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