Reviews for Erlkönig
the yellow flower chapter 14 . 5/27
So...Jareth had sex with a dying Sarah...? Why not just wait until she was on the other side and clueless? Or...was she already on the other side and was stuck with her memories...? Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I was reading too quickly. Maybe I missed some explanation of “sex gives magical powers” or something? And, like, okay, I’m giggling a bit. The “come with me bit” like...was that it? She had to come with him sexually to transition...? Or am I going to far on a whim there...? Anywho, thanks for the tale. Very good mashup of folklore and you created a very cool original story in the process. I loved the bits with the bird. Very thoughtful. I’m relieved Toby is okay! Well...lots of undeserved guilt to work through, but yeah he wasn’t actually killed. On a different note...I wonder if Jareth will get tired of having a thoughtless doll for a queen...that gives reason for concern...
the yellow flower chapter 13 . 5/27
Yep. Called it. There was no way she was living through this. And yep. Hopeless. Like, I get she keeps chanting “a year and a day” but seeing how things have been going...yeah I’m going to say no. So sad. What the effing eff Jareth! Heartless and overly aroused! Yeesh man! No decorum! Like...Okay it’s not like he plays by our rules but how am I supposed to believe he cares so much about her when he hasn’t listened to any of her wants? Slash...none of this is a rail at you. I’m caught up in the story is all. And I’ve got 2 more chapters so here goes...
the yellow flower chapter 12 . 5/27
Interesting time hop especially with the bird. Is the bird a metaphor? Or a source of her power or something? Kind of makes me sad though. She went back only to find she couldn’t do anything to save herself. Maybe I’m reading too fast but I’m getting confused between what reality she’s in. So much hopelessness.
the yellow flower chapter 11 . 5/27
This is starting to make me sad. Sarah has said “No” so so many times and all GK manages to do is suffocate her and kiss her more in between time jumps and dreams. It’s feeling pretty hopeless right now. Does she have reason to stay alive if this is to be her fate? What happens between now and then to make her calm?
the yellow flower chapter 10 . 5/27 can she not cross over alive? Very creepy stuff. Everything he does in her waking world so to speak makes her colder but in his world he’s warm... hmmm
the yellow flower chapter 9 . 5/27
It’s interesting that she is the one who keeps destroying herself through panic alone. She thoughtlessness through fear is turning out to be her own end. It’s a good strategy on GK. Cruel and terrible...but a strategy nonetheless
the yellow flower chapter 8 . 5/27
She was finally going to read the last of the song! And Toby! No no no not Toby
the yellow flower chapter 7 . 5/26
I like your use of very normal fears in this chapter: cold, darkness, wildlife, being alone, broken vehicles etc etc. No magick needed for things like that to happen and that can be pretty scary!
the yellow flower chapter 6 . 5/26
Wellllllll That was terrifying. Nice reference to A Christmas Story. Relatable. I thought your spin was more painful and less funny for sure. Her poor lips! And GK! Such deceit! Ah! Also, okay, so she’s 21, yeah? “Of age” seems to nod to the American law of being able to legally drink alcohol. Is that right? Is there a more ancient “of age” that he’s referring to? Otherwise, why would he wait for her laws for drinking age to take place? Side note: I’m worried about Toby. Sarah seems pretty doomed (oops) but I really hope Toby isn’t harmed
the yellow flower chapter 5 . 5/26
Ooooo nice build up! I like how her visions and reality blur into one. Very creepy. Makes it easy to doubt. Nice effect.
the yellow flower chapter 3 . 5/26
Oooo trippy and creepy. I like
labellily chapter 3 . 10/30/2017
I just want you to know that I'm rereading this for the first time in like, years, because this TERRIFIED me the first time i read it but TIS THE SEASON happy halloween
IndigoBirds chapter 16 . 9/29/2017
This. Wow. This was really an interesting piece. Truly captivating and terrifying at the same time.

This web you've woven was absolutely breathtaking. Jareth's anger with Sarah, his persistance and obsession with consuming her, was a tour de force on your part. Though the whole time you get the feeling that her resistance to him is absolutely futile.

I feel like the case you've built in favor of Jareth was so compelling, that by the time he possesses her, and takes her, as the reader you WANT him to do it. All the while Sarah protests, you feel like wishing she was sinking deeper into the warm bath and allowing her fears and anger to melt away from her and to allow him to wrap her in himself and let it be done.

His mockery of her anger is so fitting, and yet in the end her anger at what he's done... You've almost worn me down to the point where I've decided she should just accept it.

However, this is one thing I am not totally clear on; did she die? (For all his posturing, I wasn't sure if Jareth was being serious or not, or if Sarah's mother also died as well, bringing her back to reality). Just curious.
Tata-Fox chapter 16 . 9/1/2017
Very mysterious and confusing... and slightly beyond my english ability to truely enjoy. Feels like being caught in a whirlpool. Understanding yet not really understanding.
PrettyWithAPistol chapter 16 . 7/24/2017
Incredible. I felt so much and, at the same time, nothing at all. I saw the truth illuminated in flashes of insight and minute unveiling. Just the same, I knew despair and danger lurking within each shifting shadow and glinting tooth seeking to devour Sarah just as soundly as each would overwhelm and mystify me as the reader.

This was an amazing read, all in all. My only critiques lie within a few fumbles over syntactic and grammatical errors and again in the muddier moments of the convoluted detailing and subtlety of each of Sarah's realities. I suppose, that may add to the elements of "the unknown" within a tale that alludes and evades with each frightening lure of mystery...but it can also be a bit confusing at times and leave too much insubstantiality.

Still, a fantastic read and just what I was searching for.
Anyway, I wish you well on your next endeavors (in writing, or elsewhere) and I look forward to all your future works!
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