Reviews for Erlkönig
Lyss chapter 8 . 5/5/2007
I love your speedy updates. *hearts*
yodeladyhoo chapter 8 . 5/5/2007
Oh, I knew that ! Fangirl squeal here of " THE PIPE PIPER OF HAMLIN ! " Loved it. But you forgot that the one that was left behind because he couldn't keep up due to a broken foot or leg or he was disabled.


More, please.
yodeladyhoo chapter 7 . 5/5/2007
Pacing is important. You can't have a reader running on high tension the entire time. Then there there is no jump when the bad guy goes " Boo ! " because you're constantly expecting it. You need to lull the suspense so that the " Boo ! " has more punch.

I'm only sitting halfway in my seat for this chapter.

More please.
Pika-la-Cynique chapter 7 . 5/5/2007
OMG, stuck out in the winter woods with a flat battery and no signal. And the Erlkonig bearing down on her, of course. ohmygod ack. Downright scary.

the atmospherics are _just_fine_. The interrupted writing totally reflects her shot nerves and panicked thoughts. This all flows very well and Sarah's reactions are impressively natural. Toby belting out the meatball song-bwahaha, that works as comic relief all right... and then wham, we're right back in the heart-pounding dark forest scary stuff.

This remains horrific brilliance.
In2thedarkness18 chapter 7 . 5/5/2007
I really am enjoying this story, please update asap!
phoenixkid chapter 7 . 5/5/2007! it was getting good! anyways story is great! update soon! - i would be scare if i were sarah
Lyss chapter 7 . 5/5/2007
-waits around for chapter 8-
A Poor Player chapter 7 . 5/5/2007
This is quickly becoming one of my favorite Labyrinth fanfictions. :)

It's amazing.
Solea chapter 7 . 5/5/2007
I have mixed feelings about this chapter, but don't want to say anything much about that until I see the second half because I may be leaping to conclusions. When I read your author's note at the end about how you had split it up, then the disconnect I felt made sense. My mixed feelings come from the whole "protect Toby 'cause he's a kid in trouble" thing. Why is Sarah so certain that the King would even bother with Toby? From what you've written so far, there would be no need for Jareth to do that and the King seems too focused on Sarah to trouble himself. If Sarah is so frightened for Toby, I'm a bit surprised that she hasn't tried bargaining just to get Toby home.

Something that I think you're doing really well here is the transition between worlds. I like the way you turn a light-hearted moment like singing in the car into an icy moment of terror when Jareth is holding his hand over Sarah's mouth and breathing his frozen breath down her neck. That was some really good writing.

Plus, Toby's solid, human world interjections are an effective way to sharpen the contrast between worlds and make Sarah's terror believable. He yells at her for swearing and babbles on about Abba and chocolate bars while Sarah is literally fighting for her life. Really, I don't know how to even communicate to you how impressed I am with your ability to build horror. You're doing a wonderful job.

I also really like the ways Jareth seems to be trying to entice Sarah and ask her nicely - the deer, the flute, and now the choir. He seems more like a lover when he uses these tactics. Perhaps I am wrong to do this, but I am picturing him as a lover...maybe a dark and dangerous one, but still...

Question: Was the rush of care and love that Sarah felt as she left Toby entirely her feelings for Toby or was she also feeling some of Jareth's feelings toward HER? (Yes, it's the hopeless romantic in me that asks that and no, I don't expect this story to change into a bunch of happy fluff.) I'm asking because Jareth is ambiguous enough that it might be possible and I am curious about him.

One piece of constructive crit: The owl running across the road was unintentionally hilarious. First, birds look really funny when they run even when they're Evil Spirit Birds. Second, all I could think of was "Why did the chicken cross the road?" jokes.

(ducks flying tomatoes)
Nonsuch chapter 7 . 5/5/2007
Amazing, magnifique, I'm running out of praise to use here! And the term, last chapter without Jareth is like wow! I'm really loving this, can;t wait for the next chapter.

Thankyou for the quick updates, they help alleviate the nail biting suspense. They're really appreicated, I wish I could turn out chapters like you!

I love the ABBA reference, I love their music, am I right in saying the song Toby destroys in his recitation is 'On Top of Old Smokey'?

'On top of old smokey

All covered with snow

I lost my true lover

By courting so slow'
Skyrere chapter 7 . 5/5/2007
you crave and adore our feedback. well, here you go. I crave and adore this tale you tell.

It keeps me breathless and on the edge of my seat in anticipation.

I can't hardly wait for the next installment.
jadedmidnite chapter 7 . 5/5/2007
Well, you've definitely got me interested. So far your story is original, which is always a plus, and nicely written, if not the slightest bit confusing. I can't wait to see what Jareth has in store for her next. Keep up the good work.

aeenc chapter 7 . 5/5/2007
the suspense is killing me! lol, great chapter.
Abruptly chapter 6 . 5/4/2007
Intense. I love the way you've portrayed Jared, and how you have him handle magic. It's very interesting compared to the oh so familia 'a crystal ball appeared in his hand and he tossed it at Sarah. "Make a wish!"' type deal. Thank you for the refreshing read and I hope you update soon!
LeSinner chapter 6 . 5/4/2007
Oh, nice! Though, here, Jareth is much colder than in any fic I've read before. The others just showed brutality, but yours was really him being cold... Hurry and update, please!
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