|Reviews for Lifelines Before and After: BaoDur|
| nae16125 chapter 2 . 4/23
| Plebia chapter 2 . 6/21/2007
Well, you don't write fluff, now do you? Really, though, I love your stories. They have a hard, biting edge of reality to them that's utterly believable. This story is all the more poignant because you see the happy ending that never was. You're a truly amazing writer.
| I am no longer available chapter 2 . 6/17/2007
I quite enjoy the beginning of this; it's quite the (good) shock after coming out of the first chapter.
Nice description going through his experience in the hospital-e.g. waking up the third time "with Malachor V howling in my mind"-and how you tie that into his personality and its inability to provide him with the easy answers (through rationality) that he depends on...
His character comes through nicely also when he discovers his arm is missing and his first thought is "how am I going to work?" *Good*
Overall, the very non-rosy landing that Bao-Dur gets post Malachor V is spot on (in my book) and lends itself to the rage we see in the game. I like also how you keep the "General's" absence a mystery.
Nice bit about the work and collecting pieces for an arm. All of it feels very BD. Just enough characterization of Jibbet and the atmosphere to keep building your world as broken...
Nice bit about cursing the General as he goes under for the prosthetic surgery. Keeping an evolution going. Even better, though, would have been for him to keep an ongoing litany about her throughout... Just a line or two in the middle of sections makes her presence much more *daily* rather than episodic.
Love the prostitute scene. Gritty and really drives home the hammer of what BD is going through.
Nice bit with how he moves away from the Czerka job and then calls a truce. I like that idea of an explicit truce between parts of one's self.
I think I said this in the beta, but I love this line: "...as though I was the answer to something but she couldn’t remember the question." Sets up what he's to discover about her absence right from the get go. Plus it's just so damned clever!
I think you could have done more with the part where they once more explore becoming a couple. I know it's covered in Lifelines already, but this is a different perspective and so the details, and potentially the contrast would be great. And,anyways, you can't count on us remembering what was said in that other story and (again) it's too momentous for him to get such a short desciription here.
Nice ending. I like that it's still wounded, uncertain, with a long way to go. Fits the game and the story quite well. No blissful forgetting here, just slow rebuilding.
If this turns out to be your last SW piece, it's perfect for that. Has much of your best writing in it!
| Rian Sage chapter 2 . 5/22/2007
I liked the subtle hints you put in the first chapter to let the reader know something was off. I could have accepted the arm because frankly he could have just engineered a new one after receiving the Republic-issued one. But the biggest clue was her ability to read him with the Force and the fact that she didn't seem to change from what he remembered of her. You did a good job in keeping his memory of her in tact through his dreams.
The second chapter was awesome. It was depressing and lacked hope. I loved the progression of the arm from the gnarled remains, the mourning of the loss, the scar through his fight to gain it back. And in the re-construction, you bring to mind many things as to what it would have been like to be in his situation... the awkwardness, the pain, shocking passer-bys (which I got a kick out of the mental image, by the way), etc.
Bao-Dur has a war with maintaining his humanity. He seems to be in a losing battle. But the Czerka incident seemed to re-awaken it in him and gave him his fight back. It was a good turning point.
I loved seeing the look into the time between for him and I think I might just have to read Lifelines all over again. :) This was worth waiting for.
| Kendoka Girl chapter 2 . 5/8/2007
Wow, your opening was gripping, bringing out shades of Walter Reed with the medical treatment. Bao's recovery was well done, illustrating the desperation and pain that he had to endure. You really bring it out well.
I like the way he discovers the Force Shield breaker. That was woven into the story nicely.
That was a great insight into Bao Dur's experience right after the war. Poor guy met the VA and lost.
| Kendoka Girl chapter 1 . 5/8/2007
I'm finally catching up on my reading. Great insight into Bao's feelings and situation. The hospital scene was riveting...sort of a SW meets ER. ;)
The romance angle was touching too and I loved the transition to the present - that was very bittersweet.
| I am no longer available chapter 1 . 4/30/2007
I do love the whole scene that you portray. Raw, gritty and quite sensual. You can see how this whole bit would be so important for Bao-Dur as the years flow by, and the waiting never seems to end. Most importantly, there's a real sense of chemistry between the two that so many stories never quite seem to generate.
This line really sticks with me: “But hurry up, Bao-Dur.” She glances around the room. “Hurry…”
Plus, you got to love that hallway action ;)
| PadawanMage chapter 2 . 4/29/2007
Very gritty and visceral descriptions of what the poor guy went through in the years after Malachor. Nice backstory as to what he had to go through...and the scene with the prostitute?
I had to wince, especially when she talked about aliens and cripples. Makes me wonder a little about other cripples coming back from another war on a certain other planet and what *they* go through. ;-\
| DarthNexus9000 chapter 2 . 4/28/2007
I like the ending to this chapter.
I like how you paired Bao and the Exile, and the way this played out in the end.
Can't wait to read more stories from you.
| DarthNexus9000 chapter 1 . 4/28/2007
This is a good beginning.
Can't wait to read more.
| PadawanMage chapter 1 . 4/28/2007
Oh, what a tease! ;-)
Some of the passion in those two must've rubbed off from wearing that shirt.
Revan male? hm...
| Inactive Account 2010 chapter 2 . 4/28/2007
Bao-Dur, although a character that interested me somewhat, has never felt so alive as he did in this fic. You've always had a soft spot for him haven't you? Anyhow, this was beautifully poiniant, and reading about how he first woke up from Malachor, the sheer *grittiness* of it was so fulfilling - you really opened him up to me.
There were many things that I loved in this, many turns of phrases and imagery that really pulled it all together, but for some reason, I really liked the following line: "I turned and went out, and didn’t slam the door behind me." His quiet and indignant reaction to the prositute... it just really had a powerful effect.
| Niobe Asha chapter 1 . 4/26/2007
Holy freaking cliffhanger! Oh that's just mean! :D
Seriously though, I can't even begin to articulate how good this is. I can't wait for more!