|Reviews for Failure|
| Lady Asphodelic chapter 10 . 9/29
This story was pretty - and amazingly - damn awesome. Though yes, I did miss Charlie. I really appreciate Don as a character to read this story alone. I came across your sequel first and read your summary there was a prequel... I rushed to read this after reading your other story... It's starts with an E, that's all I remember. I am ashamed I haven't checked your profile sooner.
Your writing, and your story telling, is genuinely awesome. I am greatly saddened on the other hand, that from reading your bio... that you have passed away from a tragic death. To the brother too, if you're reading this, I am so sorry for your loss, and this extends to your family and friends. I send you my sincerest condolences.
I may not know you personally Aleo, but through your writing, readers such as myself got a piece of what type of person you are. Thank you so much for sharing your work with us. I will go on now and read the rest of your stories now.
| LisaG16 chapter 10 . 11/29/2012
spooky and kewl!
| Cutter12 chapter 10 . 11/18/2012
A totally engrossing story that had me clicking one chapter right after the other. Great job, thanks for writing it.
| Not2BForgotten chapter 1 . 12/9/2010
OOOOOH, intriguing! Very nicely written :D
| LockBox22 chapter 10 . 11/16/2009
As good as always, ALEO.
It's nice to finally know Don's and Telford's history.
| EmptySky chapter 10 . 5/8/2009
What had me on the edge right at the beginning of the story was that it seems to be so calm and peaceful, that you just *know* that something is off or that something major is to happen. And I was right! That Agent Telford must be well-trained if he can take out Don like that, knowing those codes and stuff… the first chapter left me longing for more, I can tell you that. Good thing for me is that you already finished writing this story and I can read it as it goes on D What puzzles me a little, as I’m at chapter 2 now is that Telford seems to know exactly what he’s doing, but in a weird way. I don’t know how to say it, but he’s forceful but at the same time so calm and even talking to softly at his warning. Usually you’d think that when you hold a federal agent at gunpoint that you’re nervous or at least something similar, right? Well, let’s see what’s going to happen. The thing though is that since you have no clue what exactly all those guys want from Don, you don’t really know what could happen next. I’m on the edge of my seat here, which once again means kudos to your writing! I’m completely puzzled now. There’s some bigger picture I don’t get yet, but since this is only chapter 3 finished I think it’s wanted by you. I wonder who exactly this Telford is, if it’s his real name, and who he works for and what that boss wants with Don to keep him alive. Now, a few chaps later, I’m still wondering where exactly this all is going, but there I am as puzzled as Don and his team is. Telford or those he’s working for must be some master mind at what he’s doing, right? And, oh man, I really groaned when Telford had Don at gunpoint again. Not a negative groan, though. A ‘wow this is exciting but ugh poor Don’-groan. Now, I understand where this organization if I can call it that is coming from, and what they’re doing. I’d think that since Don is one of the good guys, playing right and doing his job as well as he can, that they want him alive to catch more bad guys… I saw that there is a sequel, and I’ll get onto that as soon as I can. This here was not the typical story, not with the regular and common happy ending and the solved case, but actually with a mystery behind it and much suspension. I liked it very much and can’t wait to read more of you soon.
| epalladino chapter 10 . 5/7/2009
Excellent story. Very tightly organized and your OCs were just perfect. You really had me guessing who the bad guys were. Looking foward to the sequels.
| rower4life chapter 9 . 7/2/2007
I absolutly love your stories, your a great author. Keep writing.
| celadon chapter 10 . 5/11/2007
This was excellent - a real treat. I hope you have another for us very soon!
| Alice I chapter 10 . 5/10/2007
I read this entire story in one shot. There were several things that I liked about it. I thought that it was very realistic and the small details that you included helped to pain an accurate picture of what was going on.
I also liked the fact that it was essentially unresolved. This seems to me to be the most realistic aspect of the story. To have every case solved and the bad guys caught or killed is not how it works in real life.
The only real nit pick I would point out is to be more careful with your use of the word 'a' verses 'an'. I did pick up that you were not from the states with some of your terms so I figured that it might be possible that English isn't your first language.
That doesn't take away from the fact that your story was tight, well told and addressed the little things that I pictured as I read the story.
| tkdblack chapter 10 . 5/9/2007
I really enjoyed this story and the others you posted. What I liked best was the realism, the fact that there really wasn't any answers or happy ending. Nobody seems to like to write that type of story and of course I wouldn't want to read them all the time. Well done!
Since you mentioned in your profile that you are trying to eliminate "Australianisms" in your writing, I have a couple to point out in chapter 8. Windscreen should be windshield and rear vision mirror - rearview mirror. I noticed a couple other small ones while reading the story but frankly I was too lazy to go back and find them.
| newgal chapter 10 . 5/8/2007
Enjoyed this story. It was definitely a tough one for Don. Looking forward to your next fanfic.
| mamunn2 chapter 10 . 5/8/2007
Although I love Charlie and I did miss him a little the story more than made up fo him not being there. You did a really good job and I'm looking forward to reading your next story.
| mamunn2 chapter 9 . 5/8/2007
a little short but it was good
| The Silent Rumble chapter 10 . 5/8/2007
I hope you write again soon. You're deff. on my alerts.