Reviews for Alice and Renee go to Big Lots to buy Gnomes
ILeftMyHeartInLondon chapter 1 . 9/3/2008
This was so cute! Both Alice and Renee were very in character. Well done!

(Alice was quite funny at the end!) :)
Emiliana Keladry chapter 1 . 7/18/2008
Poor Alice... that sounds quite ridiculous and like Renee! Great job!

BabelFish42 chapter 1 . 7/18/2008
"I must be unfamiliar with Phoenix culture...Is it really customary to give people garden gnomes when they fall out of windows?”

I completely cracked up after that line. It was a while before I could start breathing again and keep reading.

"Renee added a set of hot rollers, a Darth Maul figurine, a mini crock-pot, a pair of running pants, a bottle of soy sauce, a troll doll, and a pregnancy test to the cart. All of those items were found in the same aisle.

“Please tell me that none of these are for Bella,” Alice said.

At this point, I doubled over and nearly fell out of my chair. I kid you not.

This was HILARIOUS! Awesome job. I love how you portrayed Alice and Renee together. I also liked how you made it clear that while Renee may be a bit, um, unusual, she still cares a lot about Bella. Even more than she cares about marked-down flashlights and discounts on polka-dotted bras. :-)
Melanie chapter 1 . 7/18/2008
I love this! It's so funny!
Daedalos chapter 1 . 7/12/2008
Haha. Clever! Pointless, but clever lol. Anyways, great job, thanks!

faeryespell chapter 1 . 7/10/2008
this is such a unique one-shot! really entertaining and soo well-written! :D
Bloodfeeder13 chapter 1 . 6/30/2008
this is really good! I hope you write more of these!
Livy Alice chapter 1 . 6/29/2008
I've seen this story on you site for a while now and even though I love everything you've written, I've always just passed over this story thinking it would be rather silly.

I was right, it was silly, but it was also one of the most entertaining things I've read in a while. AND it was well written and flowed nicely.

So... I'm now regretting not having read it sooner.

-Livy Alice

lemon-of-the-tent chapter 1 . 6/19/2008
I dont know if I liked that. It was amazingly funny, and I was in giggling fits after the clerk tred to chat up Alice, but it was a bit harsh on Renee. Plus, I sat there feeling really sorry for Bella, not because she was in hospital, but because Renee was buying her an awful gift because she was in hospital. I'm not at all materialistic, but I hate getting presents that you dont want and having to pretend that you do like them... It happens to me every birthday (I have some relatives with odd taste). It did seem a bit like Renee so she didn't really seem OOC but I still dont think she would shop in a place that bad. Plus, wouldn't she know that Bella wouldn't want a gift at all? I mean, I know she said that Bella wouldn't want her spending much money on her, but Renee always struck me as someone who at least had SOME taste and a trifle of dignity. When your daughter falls down two flights of stairs and out of a window, just dont buy her anything.

I actually did like it, it just made me cringe at the thought of shopping somewhere like that. I know I sound like such a snob, but it would just be so weird.

Ignore me - I'm being silly.


watermelonflavored chapter 1 . 6/18/2008
why would you say " will you bear my children" to a complete stranger? my bro spends a lot of his free time playing W.o.W. and other game but he stopped playing that and now is playing "Age of conna" but he has a way better job and higher salary than the big lots guy,he's at a university and has a girlfriend too.i still call him a geek but he's really not it's only cuz the video gaming like all other boys... so is it pathetic if u spend a lot of time on fan fiction then?
Dy chapter 1 . 6/12/2008
Ha! Ha! This was so cute! Very witty and entertaining. Very Alice and Renee! Thanks for the laugh! :)
LadyNoreh chapter 1 . 6/7/2008
Do you think I could borrow Alice for a moment? I need her to tell my husband that playing WoW is -not- a successful career choice unless he wants to become that which he despises most; a gold farmer.


Rene is so... quirky and adorable! Also, if it's okay I'm going to borrow "he-gnome" and "she-gnome" to call unsuspection people that annoy me.
allyg1990 chapter 1 . 5/18/2008
lol! I loved the last bit. Absolutely hilarious!
Mizra chapter 1 . 5/2/2008
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my entire life,” he said.

“Thank you,” she said tersely.

“Can I have your phone number?” he asked.


“Can I take you out to dinner?”


“Will you marry me?”


“Oh. Okay…sorry I bothered you.”

“No problem. I get that all the time.”

“Will you at least…”

“No,” she said quickly, before he could say the phrase “bear my children.”

Those are the best lines written with Alice involved since "Trust me. I'm Alice!"
Wishes and Words and Etcetera chapter 1 . 4/16/2008
So random, but super funny!
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