|Reviews for Breath of Fire: Decline|
| semperfy chapter 14 . 11/17/2011
this story is amazing i realy cannot wait to read the rest! !
| Anmynous chapter 13 . 9/15/2011
I'm happy to give a review considering how good the story is, but don't really have much constructive criticism to give. Maybe question how giant the spider was since biting Mika in the neck didn't near cut it off.
Eagerly await further chapters!
| Airess Byrd chapter 8 . 7/23/2009
hee, i love the comparision between mika and kirin. :)he does make a good counsiler, eh? great chapter :)
| Airess Byrd chapter 7 . 5/11/2009
great chapter! i like how nina takes little ryu and teepo out into the wild and notes to herself that little ryu has to toughen up more. i am really curious as to what the boys' father did to ryu to make him so slow? at least we know that little ryu can talk and stuff now _ 'tis true that mika would tear the forest appart to find his brothers. so, kirin is a princess? makes me wonder why she was working at a tavern. hmn... anyway, great chapter!
| Airess Byrd chapter 6 . 3/16/2009
it's been a bit, huh? glad to see you back! interesting chapter _ this is getting interesting by the moment. kirin seems like an interesting character, as well as the others. i wonder what happened to make little ryu slow? just the way he ages, or something else prehaps? heh, anyway, the whole thing about the mines and that one little spot seem to be of some importance. i wonder what? heh, looks like ryu already has his destined party with him _ i wonder when he will realize that when he tells them to stay, they will come with him anyway _ lol anyway, great chapter!
| Amnethyst chapter 6 . 3/15/2009
I'm hoping the next chapter comes out sooner.
| StoryTagger chapter 5 . 1/28/2009
:) You know...I'm trying figure out why everyone thinks that Ryu is the Chosen...If the prophet only said that it was one descended from royal blood or some such nonsense, then there are four with the possibilities for such...and two Ryu's...I take it Teepo and little Ryu are the ones in FOB3? Wonder how they lost their memories...
| Airess Byrd chapter 5 . 8/25/2008
Oh! You know, I have you on my favorites, but I have yet to leave a review! (bad airess, bad!) My most humble appologies! Anyway, I love what you have written so far. I must say, I am impressed with the story line. You don't hardly see any stories set during the Techno Age. I look forward to reading further chapters from you _
| Estrelita Farr chapter 3 . 2/3/2008
Great chapter as usual! More discussion of Aldin's wrongdoings and more show of his wrath (makes me want to punch him in the eye!), and it does make one wonder what Aldin's going to do. And I still like the way you write. D
One thing is that I got a little confused during the scene where Mirielle and Mika were discussing without Teepo and Ryu around. Mirielle's thoughts were a little confusing ("He’s thinking rationally about this? Damnit…" and "He’s stonewalling me… damnit, Mika, don’t do this…"). It kind of makes one say, "Huh? What?" instead of feeling what Mirielle is feeling. Maybe an explanation is in order? Or maybe it's just me being silly. O_o
And yeah, I agree with Nina Windia (the reviewer, not the character O_o) - if there are two Ryus, there should be a clarification to help clear the confusion. It does get a little confusing when there are two characters of the same name, even if the two are completely different in age.
Though I've an inkling that the older Ryu is the "failed" Destined One in the past, during the Dragon War, while the younger Ryu is the "current" Destined One in the actual game storyline, and Teepo is also "frozen" in a chrysm just like little Ryu is going to. At least, that's what I think. O_o
Other than what I've mentioned, this is a pretty good chapter. It's getting pretty interesting! Will Mika and the two boys get away? Or will Aldin get them?
Stay tuned for Chapter 3
Feverishly juggling work and her BoF3 novelisation. T_T
| Nina Windia chapter 3 . 2/3/2008
Okay, I'm a little confused right now... are there two Ryu's here? Because in the last chapter I swear Ryu had grown up to at least a teenage, and now he's being called 'little Ryu' and there's talk of toys. If there are two, you should probably make that clearer when you introduce the second one. Then again, I could just be getting totally confused here.
| Nina Windia chapter 2 . 2/3/2008
Nice work, this is really very well written! Mika is a likeable realistic character so far and the plot fits in with the BOF series. There was one thing I was thinking about though... since this story starts with the guardians killing the dragons, and Myria trying to wipe them out, presumably this Ryu can't have done too well, or things would have started brighter in BOF 3. I wonder perhaps if this is a 'failed' Ryu, one that couldn't fufil his destiny. Or I suppose his results could have been so minor that they were forgotten in history; maybe he helped the dragons hide underground or something along those lines. I don't know... but it'll be interesting to find out. Well done so far. _
| Estrelita Farr chapter 2 . 1/5/2008
This is pretty interesting. It's like a whole new Breath of Fire story, except that it's a prequel of the third installment.
Pretty good writing style (better than mine, I admit) and the storyline flows nicely. I felt that it's a bit slow though, but it's not something that hampers the quality of the story much. The emotions and character personalities are conveyed pretty well, too.
The only complaint I have is that you didn't describe the character appearances. All I know is that Ryu has blue hair because you mentioned it at the beginning of Chapter 1, and that all Ryu's are blue-haired. For example, is Mika taller or shorter than Ryu? What colours do their eyes have? Do they have long or short hair, and in what style?
Putting in some descriptions on character appearances (as well as describing the surroundings) will help enhance the readers' imagination of the story.
But, overall, the story's pretty good. I'd like to see more of this, once you're done with the project you're working on. Ganbatte on that project
(yes, I did read your profile aside from this story :D)
(and yes, I know I'm talkative. T_T)
| Sabaku no Hime chapter 2 . 6/7/2007
oh wow. i like this a lot. i really hope you update soon so that i can read more. your writing style is fantastic, and there's nothing i can offer to help you improve it, so i'll just enjoy it then...