|Reviews for Not Quite Ready|
| SiriusFan13 chapter 2 . 12/26/2008
Great job. I love this... adore the idea that hiko had planned the ougi much earlier than it was presented...
:) what a jem:D
| Khrysalis chapter 2 . 1/27/2008
Oh dear... Perhaps these reflexes are too soon developed at too early an age. It's perversely facinating to image Kenshin so young that he would move to strike first and undertand the threat later.
But not impossible. Not impossible at all.
It's also painfully sad, the way young Kenshin was enjoying his day so much until something came to take his enjoyable moment away...sparked by his own actions. So sad...but so very much like Kenshin. A path his life is prone to follow. He feels alienated and cast out again. Well done, Lad.
How well done Hiko's character is! I like his silent musings, his shrewd watchfullness. How he might have felt about his own master once, and the contrast in how he feels about his apprentice now.
What will happen now...?
| Hidari chapter 2 . 11/1/2007
It's excellent. However, I think it needs a part three. _
| kokoronagomu chapter 2 . 10/31/2007
a possible trigger for the desire to help alleviate the suffering of the masses? if the shogunate wasn't so corrupt the boy wouldn't have to resort to picking pockets to survive, ne?
that was quite moving. the city, the crowds pressing in, the nervousness in getting there, then relief at an errand accomplished, enjoyment in buying small wants, then it all falls through.
all of it was so amazing, hiko's observations and final realization... at least for now.
i always loved your descriptions and how you portray the emotional reality of the characters.
sorry i haven't gotten to read this until now as i was dealing with some major stuff.
saleh, a pleasure as always,
| omasuoniwabanshi chapter 2 . 10/2/2007
Poor Kenshin! The scene shifts so quickly from the happy, decorated marketplace to the skewering of the urchin that it was quite a shock. Nice foreshadowing though. Your description of how the festivities the night before started out timidly then turned drunken and racy paralleled the change from happy to sad later in the chapter. It made for some really good symmetry.
My only question is, what happened to the urchin? Is he merely wounded, or dead?
Kenshin's worry over the incident and Hiko's disgusted washing his hands of the affair and turning his back to head home were very much in character. Nice job.
| DesertRose3000 chapter 2 . 10/1/2007
Is Hiko going to upbraid Kenshin for his lack of reflex control?
| omurice chapter 1 . 7/8/2007
I like the way you formatted this and it was all very engaging and easy to read. Keep up the great work.
| pinoykengumi7 chapter 1 . 7/5/2007
Whoa haven't read anything for aGES! It's nice to come back to read some good writing. Recently when I've browsed through there hasn't been much anything good lately. And it doesn't help that I dont have the internet... Anyway, about the fic... Yes. Good language, definitely. And young Kenshin is so nice :D It's also good to have a look into Hiko's thoughts. Good job! It'd be nice to read more.
| Suttee chapter 1 . 6/28/2007
Wow all the vivid imagery in this lovely piece leaves me breathless! You do have a poetic way with words that glue people to the screen till the end... and it's always wonderful to find that even the rare opportunity to have fun did not distract Kenshin from worrying about his shishou. Can't wait to see part II, and I hope your exams went well!
| Ridicully L chapter 1 . 6/21/2007
Hmm... I can't help wondering what happened to Hiko's shishou. Maybe the ougi cut him up into bits too small to pick up?
| White Rabbit Tale chapter 1 . 6/16/2007
Gah! Stupid effing everything up. It is quite distracting...
Despite the stupid italicized letters decided to add, I am awed by this first chapter. This is an area of Kenshin's life that is not often explored.
Hiko is wonderful in this. His complacency at the thought of his own death and Kenshin's succession of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu is interesting and even somewhat touching. I've never thought about it before, but it shows a level of trust that Hiko would take on Kenshin as a pupil. After all, he is not responsible for passing on all that Hiko taught him and preserving it. Or so Hiko thinks, for now.
I don't know how many people have told you this and how often, but you really have a way with prose. Certain phrases really jump out at me and your descriptive language is impeccable. I have to quote the "pressed in prim folds, marked with banners" along with Kris. When I read stuff like that I just think "How do you THINK of that? How do you express a single image so easily?" I am jealous. ;)
So far a great start and I am hoping your exams go well so you can continue ASAP.
| skenshingumi chapter 1 . 6/9/2007
I love finding old email alerts. I keep finding treasure. I love this start. The idea of juxtaposing Hiko’s last days against Kenshin’s youthful curiosity and enthusiasm is a great idea but your words are what make it truly special. I love the details. On the one hand you paint this exuberant yet thoughtful Kenshin fingering the weight of the pouch, the unfamiliar feel of the coins, the unexpected marvel at the thought of being able to spend money on his own. On the other, you capture this meditative Hiko who still has time to observe and smile that Kenshin has left no sign of his passage. While Hiko is worrying about Kenshin not experiencing too much pain at what is to come, Kenshin is marching into Kyoto. The foreshadowing of the “marching” and the way they each seem to be on two different planets presages things to come.
| gure chapter 1 . 5/17/2007
Very, very nice. An interesting idea, what Hiko would have thought about his last days. He's characterized so well. I liked how he questioned if he was being selfish.
For some reason, also loved the description of the crops and touching the stalks. Maybe because it made me think of late summer. _
Looking forward to Part II, and best of luck on exams!
| monsoonblues chapter 1 . 5/16/2007
I realised after reading this WHY I really enjoy your writing. I loved your description of the settings the most, very realistic, could almost feel the sun on my face:)
Since I've only ever seen Hiko being a domineering seemingly indifferent teacher, I liked the way you expressed his point of view.
Once again, dear, wonderful job! I hope you have more coming soon_
| Feafea chapter 1 . 5/12/2007
So for your fic.. kenshin would be the 14th master of the Hiten? hmm.. this would definitely be interesting!