Reviews for Temptation
MarMima chapter 1 . 11/19/2010
That was beautiful and the ending was really actually made me tear up.
SimplyWaitingForYou chapter 1 . 5/10/2009
This is one of the best one-shots I've ever read. And you think it sucked.


Frankly, it did not suck. I loved it. All of the relationships like Sora and Kairi, Namine and Riku. Roxas and Olette were cute too even though Roxas wasn't truly happy. You kept the flying concept from the beginning and incorporated it into the end. And I liked the end. I think you portrayed the characters well and that it was the best spent 30 minutes of my life. I love lengthy one-shots. Great job. :)
bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb chapter 1 . 5/9/2009
Wow...I can't believe how much this story sucked eggs...

Just...the length of it, and how everything was just drawn out, and kinda made me sick...


...nah, I'm just kidding!

Awesome story, you've got a great deal amount of talent, much, much more than I have, for sure...

Excellent plot development and ideas...

Keep up the good work, don't stop writing, it's awesome!
toastyoats chapter 1 . 1/1/2009

I think I need to take a breather.


Ye Gods, you've really just got a flair for this, haven't you? The concept is wonderful- Roxas is just the kind of guy to not be sure of what he wants, to not recognize what's so clearly THERE.

And oh, the metaphor of the running and Roxas's suppressed love of it? How Axel and running go hand in hand and Olette and college and everything Roxas wanted to run /from/ go hand in hand? Brilliant. Bloody BRILLIANT.

(Look at me, I'm a Brit-poseur! D:)

In any case, your writing is exquisite and I'm mad for this idea. Plus you kept Axel and Roxas both in character and you wrote their relationship down to a T.

And the ending killed me. MOARCLOSUREOMGPLZ. But wonderful, because everybody was pulling for Axel and Roxas all along. And it's also nice how you gave Olette a happy ending too- she deserved one.

Aah, I'm just so JEALOUS of you right now. But at the same time, I think I might be in love with you. :3
Hell's Jester chapter 1 . 12/18/2008

So cute! I'm faving this.

I love AkuRoku!

I was actually scared when Olette came in that it would be painful and angsty,

but you managed to make it more light.?

(I think that's what I'm trying to say...)

Anyway, you're a great writer!

Anon chapter 1 . 12/9/2008
I am so in love with Axel in this story.
cherriesinacan chapter 1 . 5/7/2008
Wow, I don't think this sucked at all, it did quite the opposite actually. This felt really authentic, especially how you portraited roxas train of thoughts and his feelings.

So, what I want to say is that I think you did an amazing job becouse I simply couldent stop reading uuntil I was done(Somewhere about three in the morning XD.

I loved it!XDXD
novinha42 chapter 1 . 9/28/2007
Late, but better than nothing at all, right?

Just gorgeous. I cried a little at the second half, and believe me, it takes a lot for a fic to make me do that. Just beautiful.
NaeryxOblivion chapter 1 . 7/3/2007
I can honestly say that this is one of the most beautiful things I've ever read. It's simple and unassuming, yet complex and fantastic at the same time; you write the AU so seamlessly, and incorporate canon so well. I absolutely /loved/ it, especially the last two sections; it was /adorable/.

Great work!

Abhorson chapter 1 . 6/9/2007
Pardon my language but...Holy Fuck Wow.
Phenomal, really...and how you've managed to come full circle with the theme of the story. Ingenious.

(Still a little too shocked for a veritable review)
A Spot of Bother chapter 1 . 6/3/2007
I am so behind on my alerts list. T_T But late reviews are good, too, right? * This...I loved this. Everything about it. I don't believe you quite understand the definition of 'sucked' though. Either that or we read two completely different fics. I just - your work is probably the only one where I'd look at the length and not despair, because I know I'll enjoy reading every part of it. And I did.

The beginning, with Roxas flying down the track, the only time he feels free, just grabbed me immediately. And I was hooked for the rest of the fic. The way you draw the relationships between the characters is wonderful. The how and why Roxas and Olette met, how Roxas was affected by Axel's leaving, how he and Olette began dating and everything was finally working...

And then things just...went flat. Not for any real reason, except that it happens. And how he can't see how much Axel means to him, even after he comes back, even after he begins neglecting Olette to be with him. I loved the part where Olette was begging Axel to let her have Roxas, because it really drove home that, despite her seeming almost shrewish in her anger at Roxas for abandoning her, she /cares/ about him, probably just as much as Axel does.

Of course, Roxas is oblivious. Painfully so. I actually groaned when he announced he was going to ask Olette to marry him. Axel's agreeing to be his best man made my heart ache. And when he kissed him at the wedding and took off...

I love that it was Olette who broke it off - that she had enough respect for Roxas and /herself/ to realize that it wouldn't last, wouldn't work - not the way she wanted and /deserved/ it to.

"Arching his brows, Axel leaned forward, smile smoothly spreading across his lips. “Wow, Rox. You’ve got it bad for me, don’cha? Fifteen whole minutes running just to confess your undying l-”

“Shut up!” Roxas shouted, yanking the end of his shirt harder, so that Axel stumbled onto the front stoop and nearly sent the blond tumbling down the steps. Groaning in annoyance, Roxas leaned his forehead against Axel’s chest as the redhead laughed softly, no doubt thoroughly enjoying the blond’s suffering. “And stop enjoying this,” he snapped, looking up again when Axel continued to chuckle."

Again, you have this ability to show what they mean to each other without turning either of them into wibbling ukes to get it across. Really, just everything about this is wonderful, and I'm only sorry it took me so long to get around to it and through it.
Scarlett Fear chapter 1 . 5/28/2007
lol you suck?


I wish desperately I could write something as well written, though the length at one point seemed taxing to me. I read almost every sentence, I might of skipped a few because I had to go to the bathroom and refused to move until it ended...xD I shall go reread them and go aw.

All over again.

Perfection, and definitely not to long, any shorter and you might have not perceived such perfection.

Wonderfully written my dear, you are now one of my favorite authors. For both your Seifer x Yuffie and your Axel x Roxas (x Olette, I love the girl truly but we all know the true love is Roxas x Axel...though Roxas x Namine if you can find a well written one is pretty good to.)

lol I must go off and search out more of your stories! Yay!
the-light-shines-within chapter 1 . 5/18/2007
Oh my goodness, what are you talking about! This story was awesome! True, it was a bit long but hey, it was worth it. Well, almost. Hahaha just kidding. I liked it though. :D
xoRaining Diamondsox chapter 1 . 5/17/2007
Zoly crap.

That was amazing.

Amazingly *long*! ;) Heh... it was... a joke... okay, I'll stop embarassing myself. :(

But seriously, this *was* an awesome one shot. I really liked this one, and I loved how you took us through so much of his life in only a one shot. I know you think it's long, but seriously, you still managed to condense such an incredible amount of time into a really short amount of space, when you think about.

I love Axel's "devotion" to Roxas; it's like... like Axel cares so much that it hurts, that he abandons the kid out of devotion, which is weird and complex and I didn't word that right at ALL. Ha, phrasing things is your department, honey. xD

Speaking of which... I loved a lot of lines in this one shot (I won't quote them, otherwise I'll just quote entire scenes, heh), particular those when Roxas and Axel meet in the park after Axel returns from what? a four-five year absence? OOH speaking of which, I loved Roxas' reaction when Axel returned. I was like "HOLY CRAP GET YOUR ASS BACK THERE ROXAS"... wow. No kidding; my jaw dropped at that. You're really awesome, to be able to spark that sort of passionate emotion in a reader, you know?

Another twist I loved? When Roxas offered his, er, "solution" to Sora and Axel near the end. I was so holding my breath and was like, "That's right Roxas! You run to the love of your life! You RUN!" And Roxas was all like, "Looka me ima moron." (
silver moon droplet chapter 1 . 5/11/2007
oh suki, i must say ur epics

are the only epics i dare to read.

this one was totally worth three days :D

but i must say from start to finished i

absoutly adored this bein a runner myself

i can so relate to roxas.

and axel was like homg smexy man whore at a single's party ya know? he was my most favorite in this i loved how u had him ,suki, it was just fawesome. brillant. &&so much more.

the namikuness made me made me giggle. everything just fit so perfectly.

you already know how freeking amazing you are, but this fic was deff radiant your writing truly shinned.

favs for sure.

[[ ana ]]
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