|Reviews for Twins|
| sfbxfcb chapter 3 . 5/30/2011
Wonderful! Please write more!
| zaq1234esz chapter 3 . 6/24/2007
A few criticisms that I hope will make you a better writer. First, proofread. You have several typos that are distracting. Second, don't use author's notes in the middle of a story. If Tristian is a bad boy, show it through actions and deeds, not author note's. Third, a chapter isn't 12 lines. Write longer chapters. Fourth, write the thoughts and emotions of the characters. No way the karen/lucas confrontation should have only been five lines long. There's a lot of betrayl and doubt that Lucas should have toward his mother. Shouldn't karen wonder about her other son? Develope these ideas fully.
You could be a good writer, but you need to work on the things above.
Good idea for a story, though.
| Fanpire109 chapter 3 . 5/23/2007
goodjob update again soon plEASE. WHO IS OLDER lUCAS OR TRISTAN
| svgurl410 chapter 3 . 5/16/2007
this story is really interesting! i'm really curious to see how lucas and tristan's relationship develops and how this will affect his newfound friendship with nathan.
it would be easier to read if you put paragraphs between what each person was saying. like this:
"You're good; you should join the basketball team," says Lucas.
"Yeah maybe, what do you want?"
Well, you get the general gist of it. You may want to look at for a beta. It was better than before but there are some punctuation issues that could easily be corrected.
I love your story; I just want to help so please don't take this as a negative review!
Can't wait to read more from you!
| svgurl410 chapter 1 . 5/8/2007
omg . . . this is the type of storyline that i've always wanted to write. tristin & lucas as twins. :D great idea and i really hope you go with it.
I am more of a brucas & trory shipper but maybe if lucas is with peyton, then tristin can be with brooke?
of course, you may want to consider getting a beta. this is more of a script format rather than a story. And it seems like you're rushing it a little.
But please keep writing! Update soon!