|Reviews for Tales of Finality: Memories|
| CaptainSkittlez chapter 6 . 7/2/2008
Oh, man, am I glad that you're continuing this; for a while, I thought It'd be another fic never finished. I'm glad I was wrong. Well, for starters, I loved this chapter, and how you managed to veil the defeat of Ifrit along with the whole Don Corneo thing. It's good that you're showing the mix of both games.
I also love the way you've done the dream sequences. This one was easier, but I look forward to how you handle the later ones, like Esthar.
Anyway, good luck! And keep updating, please!
| Viewtiful-E chapter 3 . 9/24/2007
Hmm… I must hand it to you, your crossover beats Peptuck’s and this is coming from a Peptuck huge fan. The first thing that really struck me was the fact that I could not figure out who was replacing Aerith; I just was not expecting Ellone. In fact, I had to re-read that part and ponder on it for a moment for it to click. Other then that, nothing really stood out but you had a certain consistency that made it better then Bittersweet Synthesis, good job.
There were a few things that I disliked though. The whole short sleeve jacket thing was kind of lame; I really could not stand the Kingdom Hearts outfit. The rest of my dislikes were small things that were so insignificant that I can not even remember what they were and I am far to lazy to check back.
By the way, I could imagine you being quite the monster at text based role-plays.
| antiassasinguy chapter 3 . 9/24/2007
Bravo, my friend. Bravo. A well written fic, and does not deserve the lack of attention that it has been subjected to. How could no one review for this masterpiece?
I give you a 10 out of 10. Because if I talk, I would be cnsumed by this story's sheer awesome.
| CaptainSkittlez chapter 2 . 8/27/2007
As a big Peptuck fan, I found myself double-taking on this. I knew that a lot of people had tried to do FF7/8 cross-overs, but dang dude, this one is great.
I really like how this all fits together. Giving Arieth/Areis' position to Ellone strikes me as really intruiging, because it's completely unusual. Also, Irvine being given Barret's position was almost as great as his entrance. I LOVED it. I'll be interested to see how Vincent, Yuffie, Red and Cait Sith fit into this. I can already imagine Zell as Cid, though I dunno if that's what you're going for. Somehow Zell shouting for his Ma to make some GODDAMN TEA is a priceless image in my head.
Now, I'm a bit fan of combat scenes, and some of Irvine's stuff confused me a little. I'm not totally sure if you knew about this, and you're playing off a similar idea Peptuck had to make Irvine's shotgun slightly more advanced than our kind, but normal shotty's don't fire rifle shells, and rifle shells ain't as strong as you made them out to be. That aside, it was kinda kick-ass :P
I love how you've managed to mix FF8 and 7 dialogues together [Irvine's sniper story, Rinoa's Forest Owl's "so painful it hurts" whine]. It makes the blend more natural. I also love the fact that you killed Biggs and Wedge. Those two suck; they're deaths are long overdue. XD
Well, all I can say now is UPDATE SOONZOR! I really do want to see this continue, and if I am forced to invade your home with Lionheart strapped to my side, then that's a risk I'm willing to take.
| Peptuck chapter 1 . 5/15/2007
I don't review a lot, as my reviews may tend to get long-winded. Get a drink for this one.
Oh, I'm definitely liking this. Thank you for the props, too; I think what you've put together here puts my little piece of work to shame on the descriptive side. If you don't mind, I'll be commenting as I read. I'll put technical commentary at the end, where its easy to find or ignore :P
This Midgar description at the beginning? I like it. A lot.
I can see that in this story you're using Hyne as a type of diety that gets prayed to as a beneficial entity. I've known some writers who balk at this idea, saying that Hyne is a malicious or at best neutral diety, but hey, its all open to interpretation. :D
Ah, time for ACKSHUN! Irvine's intro is beautiful.
Now, as I'm reading this battle, I'm definitely getting a "slow motion" vibe, like Irvine is popping these poor Shinra suckers in bullet-time. Is that what you intended? The verbosity of the description of the gunfight helps create that image in my head. If you wanted it to be faster, you could cut back on the description, which is something I'll talk more of below.
Nitpicky point from a gun-nut: Rifles do not fire shotgun shells, and vice versa. A shotgun will fire shells packed with buckshot or some other material that spreads and makes gooey chunks, while a rifle fires individual bullets. If you're more interested in the difference, wikipedia can help you get your terminology right.
Squall's intro was equally awesome and equally cold. Reminds me of my version of him. I love it. :D
Your choice to capitalize "Gunblade" is interesting; as far as weapons go, capitalization is used for a specific model, not a type of weapon; for example "katana" or "assault rifle" is not capitalized, but "Steyr AUG' is capitalized. Just something I noticed.
Curious assortment of weapons the rest of the team carry. I'd imagine Watts would go in wielding something more than a simple combat knife, or at least procure a weapon off the fallen Shinra troops.
Oh jeez, I could just hear the Agent Smith neck-popping sound as Squall popped his neck. Awesome detail. :D
Irvine, checking out Xu? Priceless.
One thing you could have done with the bomb-planting scene is describe the chamber and the Mako a bit more; I'm reminded of a novelization I read where the author did very little to describe the surroundings, so when I went to play the game later on the areas were completely different from what I had been forced to imagine. If I hadn't played FFVII, I would have had no idea what to imagine the Mako looked like.
A thing that always bugs me about how firearms are often portrayed is knockback: actual rifle bullets have very little power behind them (relatively speaking). Remember the laws of thermodynamics: if the rifle round has enough power to hurl a person off their feet it will do the same to the shooter when it is fired. That's why really heavy rifles are often fired prone or are mounted (aside from the fact that they're really heavy) if the shot that hit Biggs threw him off his feet, then it would likely have blasted Irvine onto his butt, and probably break his arm and shoulder in the process.
LOL Wedge isn't wearing groin protectors. :D
"THIS IS MADNESS!" 300 is one of my favorite movies,a nd that quote just made my day :D
An excellent ending.
Overall, beautiful. Definitely going on my favorites.
One thing I'll point out off the bat, and this was something that was said to me as well: watch the adverbs. They have their place, but spamming them isn't a good thing. One quick example: "Midgar housed the headquarters of Shinra Inc., the international corporation that governed over the world’s market entirely;" - the "entirely" at the end could be removed, and it gets the point across just as well without it, or perhaps you could have put "entire market" in its stead. Try to read through your work out loud once you finish it to get how it sounds, and if it sounds awkward in a "neutral" tone of voice, then reword it. Just a suggestion.
Similarly, you don't need to heap on words, such as Shinra's "Iron gloved fist policy"; "iron-fisted" or "iron-gloved policy" gets the point across just as well. A lesson I learned while writing is that while its a sign of excellence to be descriptive and evokative, its a sign of greater excellence to get that point across with as few words as necessary. That's not to say you should cut back on description, but it is to say that you should be careful not to get too wordy in evoking the decay and stagnation that is Midgar and its corrupt leadership. :D
Also, work on commas a bit. Reading out loud helps with this too.
If you want, I can help beta this story for you.