|Reviews for Last Change|
| debkay chapter 1 . 3/3/2009
A mean but sweet story! I especially liked the spunk you gave Christine.
| Vampiric Phantoms chapter 1 . 5/28/2008
Very interesting circumstance. I read that it belongs to a longer story and I assume that makes up for the little confusing parts (i.e. why had Christine never seen his face when all books and movies she has?; Where did these men come from and who are they?; and What is this mansion you speak of?) If you have the longer story completed I would like to read that.
| Adi Sagestar chapter 1 . 11/27/2007
Lovely. Some things don't make sense (where'd the men come from? Why are they so intent on making Erik and Christie miserable?) and there are some wordings that could be improved upon (instead of "Erik became enraged...", "Erik was filled with rage when the man flung Christine away from him.", and other little things. Don't /say/ it, /show/ it). But on the whole, it's very good. If I were you, I would look into getting a beta reader. I would offer to help, but I don't think you can be two people's beta. If you get a good beta, I'm certain your writing improve vastly and you would be a really good author.
Additionally, I would read the book if you haven't already (and not the abridged version, please!). It seems to me that Leroux!Erik or Kay!Erik would fit much better in this peice. Just a suggestion.
One last thing and I'll stop bothering you. Christine should have had more reaction to Erik's face, unless it was a tame 'deformity' like Gerik's. No matter how much she loves him, she would still be a bit repulsed. At the very least the color should drain from her face. This is just a pet peeve of mine, I think having no response whatsoever points straight to a Mary Sue.
I hope you take this advice to heart and don't just brush it off. I've tried not to sound insulting, I really do like this story and do not want to discourage you from writing at all.
- Critic #1
| anonymous chapter 1 . 6/21/2007
i honestly enjoyed this story.i liked how it captured the essence of true job!:]
| Li-Li-ThePinkbookgirl chapter 1 . 5/17/2007
Loved it loved it! It would be REALLY TOTALLY awesome if you added more to this story, but if you don't i am still adding this storie to my faves. Good writing! Li Li
| Lucia chapter 1 . 5/11/2007
Hi, thank you very much for your beautiful piece!
I loved it!
| Jungle Jenna chapter 1 . 5/11/2007
That was really cute.
| Virginie chapter 1 . 5/11/2007
That's so cute !
Thanks for writing