|Reviews for Adjustment|
| Dragon breath chapter 1 . 2/20/2009
| CelicaChick chapter 1 . 6/20/2007
| sonofwolf chapter 1 . 5/21/2007
I sorta wondered that too, how he could just come back and everything be (more or less) hunky dory. Great job!
| Reinbeauchaser chapter 1 . 5/16/2007
First up, some areas that either perked my interest or need some consideration. . .
'And then there was that purling sound of water from the pipes in his room.'
Purling? Oh, I LOVE that word! I'm a word hound, I collect words, hoard words, lust after words. Words are my friend. Purling? One more added to my collection. :0) Expect to see it pop up in my stories now and then, when the need arises. :0)
'He missed is mat of leaves and grass'
I think 'is' should have been 'his'?
Considering these two paragraphs . . .
'The sounds from the outside pulled him back from his inside world, and no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't see the jungle for his inner eye.'
'He couldn't sleep. No matter how much he tossed and turned, or tried to imagine the jungle for his inner eye,'
I believe the phrase 'for his inner eye' - should probably be - 'with his inner eye'. 'For' just doesn't work as well to me as 'with' does. Just my POV, though.
Now, enough of the critique and on to the review.
I absolutely love this! I can totally believe Leo struggling with his return to the big city. I've been in the country and when you're there for a while, listening to the sounds of nature, the quietness that descends like a comforting blanket, to return to the hustle and bustle of a noisey environment is deafening. I remember visiting my inlaws, after they moved up to Oregon and out into the country, it took days for my husband and I to adjust to the quiet nights. Seriously, we couldn't sleep! Then, we adjusted of course, until we returned home and we found ourselves missing the country. It took another few days to find our 'happy place' with sleeping again. LOL
I could imagine the smells, too, the fresh air, the fragrance of flowers, the sweetness of smog-free air. Again, it brings back memories of visiting my in-laws and how clean everything was. Then, to return home to the smog-laden atmosphere of Los Angeles was quite a rude wakening. From these experiences, moving to Oregon has been my dream. I'm hoping to retire there, in fact. I can relate to Leo's struggle!
Anyway, this was wonderful. You did an excellent job of creating a mind's eye view of Leonardo's adjustment. On to my C2 file this goes. :0)