|Reviews for Unusual Meeting|
| Adi Sagestar chapter 1 . 12/6/2007
Okay, this will sound insulting (very), so be warned.
EW! ! /Blahgue/... okay, this is disgusting. It just /reeks/ of Mary Sue. They meet, they immediately fall in 'love' (although they've never even spoken to each other), she gets hurt, he takes her home, they have sex (which they are amazingly good at despite the fact that they are both virgins). The first thing he thinks about when he sees her are her breasts, and how they would feel in his hands. Hello! This is not Erik! And Christine is supposed to have a sense of decency and honor - she would never sleep with some random guy she meets at the swimming hole, especially if he wears a mask. It just goes against everything in her character. You make her sound like a prostitute! Really! This isn't Erik and Christine at all, it could be any two people! If you took two random names and put them in there, you could never tell the difference. There is no real love or romance in here, just lust. I suggest you wait for a while before writing more. Read some really good phics, and follow their example. Here's a list you should check out:
The Rose and the Nightingale by Omega Devin
A Perfect Cage by Hriviel
A Story Of Love by L'Ange de Mort
Angels of Music by Erik's Angel
Ask Erik by my-echo
Bad Phanphic PoTO Album by Soignante
The Price of Fame by Opera Cloak
Everything and Nothing by Songwind
I Am The Mask You Wear by austenfan1990
Lessons in Love by Waytoointoerik
The Phantom of the Opera for Dummies by Nade-Naberrie
Official Phanphiction Academy by M.
All POTO fics by Madrigal
That ought to tide you over for a while, don't you think?
Please forgive for my harshness earlier. I just cannot stand it when people make my favorite characters OOC, especially in this way. This is not a personal insult and I do not mean to offend, it's more of a rant at the entire class of Sue stories.
If you have not read the book, I suggest you do so, immediately. Leroux is more important to read, but if you have time, read Kay as well. You should read them before reading most of the stories mentioned above.
If you really need a beta, I suppose I could do it, providing you don't write too often. PM me if you're interested.
| Usagi chapter 1 . 6/28/2007
Wow! That was so wicked!
| angel's-one-and-only chapter 1 . 6/17/2007
It was all a wee bit too sudden. He got so extremely arrosed too suddenly, i mean jeez just one glance at her and immediately he is hard. But the last part made me content because they are together and (I hope you are going for this) forever. Because if this was just some random thing and they go about their separate lives i would have been bitterly dissapointed i am rather a romantic and i think it was all a bit too sudden, even for a fanfic,i mean they didn't even know each other's last names. but i still liked it alot and it left me content. Happy writing, you're good!
| It was Ok chapter 1 . 5/27/2007
An interesting story, I suppose.
However, it seems very unrealistic. I'm aware that this is supposed to be fan fiction and thus, a writer is allowed to take certain lenencies with creative license, but this is rather ridiculous.
Even in today's day and time (which I'm assuming this this...)not many people just up and jump the bones of someone else, especially if she's a virgin (which, again, I'm assuming since you wrote "it did not even hurt.") Very OOC all around. But I suppose that's your perogative so it could be forgiven.
Your story lacks finesse and polish, however. In the paragraph where you are discussing how Christine stumbled upon the pond, you use too many sentences and your ideas are jumbled. This occurs several times throughout the story. It needs to be clarified.
And on a last note, why, if she intended to originally swim at the pool, would she not have a bathing suit? And if she DID and she simply chose not to wear it...well, why would she do that either? Christine's character is shy and not entirely brazen.
Just some things to ponder. Happy writing.
| phantomadark chapter 1 . 5/21/2007
This is a really great story!