|Reviews for Dark Chocolate|
| SlytherinTwinCC chapter 4 . 6/3/2007
Alrighty. Yay I love new chappies! Anyway, I would first just like to say that your fic is so cute. Also, i LOVE this sentence:
“Sweet Zombie Jesus…she’s turning into a blueberry…”
It's quite lovely dear. Really. That's funny right there.
Anyway, so keep up the good work and all that. I'll be looking forward to the next chap.
I also noticed that my new fic, "Hate and Seek" is going to have some similar scenes as yours. Well.. similar to a lot of fics I'd imagine because it will be incorporating a lot of scenes from the movie as well. I just thought it was interesting because you know how you're having Eden and Willy have private moments where the movie isnt paying attention to Willy in certain scenes? Well thats how mine is gonna be too hehe. Don't know why I'm tellin' you that. Oh well *shrugs*.
Kay, I'm off. Gonna go try out the latest new CATCF fic cleverly entitled, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Hehe.. again *shrug* Hopeie its a good one!
| CammieJR chapter 4 . 6/3/2007
You've done it again.*Claps loudly* Another solid chocolate performance! *Allie shoots up from the crowd...CHOCOLATE! where?* Although there are parts that stick to the movie (which some may not like) it is your own take on it. You make a fun and exciting rendition of your own tale. The rest will be more and more interesting, keep whetting our appetite for more. Well played, Brownie.
| kitty.has.a.pen chapter 3 . 5/30/2007
that was hilarious! especially loved the eating willy part at the beginning... hahaha! u really left me hanging at the end! now i wnt be able to sleep since i'll be waiting for the next chapter! please update soon! _V
| fags and coffee chapter 3 . 5/30/2007
liking alot how is going! :D
please more soon!
| Lord of the Furbies chapter 3 . 5/29/2007
Oh dang! This is so good! My sis's name is Allie, so when I read the part about the Oompa Loompas' song and the dancin' (I imagined it was my sis dancing) I nearly fell out of my seat laughing. Update soon!
| SparrowsVixon chapter 3 . 5/26/2007
yea...haha...i loved this one!
| SlytherinTwinCC chapter 3 . 5/25/2007
Hi again! I just wanted to say that with each chapter your writing is improving. They're getting steadily longer and more detailed. Good job. Keep up the good work.
Anyway, I liked this chapter quite a bit. I liked all of the interactions between Willy and Eden. I can't wait to see what you've got in store for us on the boat ride. Or ..well more importantly.. what you have in store for poor Eden and her Willy. (Okay that sounds funny.. 'her Willy' lol).
Kay, like I said, keep up the good work and keep on striving to be better! :D
| CammieJR chapter 3 . 5/25/2007
Push, push...push, push! ;) You are improving in your details the chocolate room is amazingly delicious. I really want to eat my green veggies now, mom! LOL! Keep us going with your scrumptious fun and romantic tale! So...now what? (Claping loudly)
| kitty.has.a.pen chapter 2 . 5/21/2007
love it! please update soon!
| SparrowsVixon chapter 2 . 5/21/2007
i, myself, love this. ur willy character is perfect and i love when ppl bring the romantic side out in him. plz write more!
| CammieJR chapter 2 . 5/21/2007
I love how this chapter came out. Your attention to detail is improving rapidly. I am so pleased with your careful thought into it. Where more details were needed we were able to work that out too. It will help make the picture more clear to the reader. I am so glad you started this fic. Looking forward to many wonderful things to come. WWEH sounds yummy-licious so far!
| SlytherinTwinCC chapter 2 . 5/21/2007
Hi again. Okay chappie one was a bit better this time. Good job. I did appreciate chapter two, although it sounded a bit like some of the other fics I've read.. alas,.. I suppose those of us that wish to persue Ticket contest change fics have to relive what happened and add in thier own twists, eh? S'ok. I personally woldn't have had Eden supply direct movie quotes in place of Willy... it was cute.. but.. and I know it was to imply that they have similar thoughts but.. it just didn't work for me. I hate to tell you this, but your fic is REALLY similar to some others... where an older girl gets a ticket and then she says all the right things, some of the quirky things that Willy said in the movie even, and then Willy immediately is intrigued by her. But alas, its your fic and thats the way you've decided to go. Gah.. I hate myself for being such an evil reviewer right now... sorry, sorry, sorry! But I do think your fic is cute and I will continue reading.. I added this fic to my author alert list so I get an e-mail when you update!
Anyway, keep on workin'! I'm sure it'll come along nicely.
| SlytherinTwinCC chapter 1 . 5/18/2007
I would first like to say thank you for joining the WW fanfiction team. Heh.. I mean.. there arent that many WW fics so... I get very excited when new ones pop up!
Your fic holds promise. It really started off a little rocky for me though. Too silly... too seemingly quickly done. I will be completely honest and say that this fic would be much much better if it were longer with a smidge more detail but I do realize some people like it short or simply don't have the time.
Bah... I'm really sorry for being a butthead. I mean.. my fic is pretty lame in comparison to the ones I am used to reading so I really have no room to talk but I really like to push other people to do thier very best and I have boat loads of suggestions.
Really, I am glad you are here and hope your fic comes out beautifully.
But I would strongly suggest you reread for rushing or places that are a bit too fast pased and that you try to add more detail, depth, which will help with the length.
| CammieJR chapter 1 . 5/18/2007
Dark Chocolate! YUMMY! Seriously for anyone who has not read or reviewed this yet. GET TO IT! It will prove to be a deliciously funny and romantic tale. I am so excited to be helping with it. You are so creative and Willy Wonka is scrumpdiddleumptious! ;)