Reviews for The Monster Within
Super Spazzaroid chapter 13 . 4/11/2008
As a some-what fan of country, your open dislike of country is offending me. I don't like classical, so there. LOL JK about offending me, I agree with you, the older country songs are stupid/whiney, but some of the newer ones are okay
Super Spazzaroid chapter 11 . 4/11/2008
Thank you for that It's always nice to know what Eddie's thinking. I can't wait for Midnight Sun actually.
Super Spazzaroid chapter 8 . 4/11/2008
LOL! I'm sorry, but how funny would THAT conversation have been? 'ring ring' "Yes?" "Carlisle?" "Yes Bella?" "I'm SPARKLING and Edward is laughing to hard to tell me why I look like a walking... er... GLITTERY THING!" "..."' LOL
Super Spazzaroid chapter 7 . 4/11/2008
FRIENDS. Sure... Anyway, great chapter. I am very glad Bella's not going to be all moping around and crap, that would ruin everything.
Super Spazzaroid chapter 5 . 4/11/2008
I really like your story. There ARE a few spelling mistakes, but nothing unbarable Very Kawaii (Cute)

~With hearts Kawaii-Inu-mimi (Cute Puppy Ears) (AKA Miki)
Super Spazzaroid chapter 3 . 4/11/2008
OH very good. You've earned yourself a stalker! I'll keep reading. 'Tis very good FAVS
BiteMeSilly chapter 23 . 4/5/2008
i loved it. a nice twist to the orginal story plot. starting soon on sequel.
moomoomisscow chapter 1 . 4/3/2008
koo!
MyLookOfDenial chapter 25 . 3/31/2008
Yay!

Happy ending!

Really good story!

D

X

X
Rose Philosopher chapter 1 . 3/21/2008
i like your idea, but have you ever heard the theory that giving a thing a name takes its power away?

well, i suggest you don't describe the pain here, because you lessen its gravity to the reader and it loses its effectiveness. make it stop with after she sees edward. and then jump straight to waking up.

like:

"red. red. sharp. clear. everything was clear and light. my lungs expanded. in. out. in...no out."

make it grammatically incorrect in incomplete sentences. that would make it super dramatic. then once she realizes what happened or once she's simply conscious, go back to your normal style of writing.
cynablaze chapter 15 . 2/19/2008
They fell together perfectly, you truly are amazing, most fanfics that I have read where the writer goes completely off of the original plot the way you have, it seems kind of weird because they normally don’t give the characters time to fall in love since in there mind Edward and Bella are already in love its hard for the authors to keep them apart very long. I was supposed to only be skimming through the chapter since I have already read it but I ended up reading half of this one full out lol, I might just reread them, I really do love your writing.

cyn-
cynablaze chapter 14 . 2/19/2008
They fell together perfectly, you truly are amazing, most fanfics that I have read where the writer goes completely off of the original plot the way you have, it seems kind of weird because they normally don’t give the characters time to fall in love since in there mind Edward and Bella are already in love its hard for the authors to keep them apart very long. I was supposed to only be skimming through the chapter since I have already read it but I ended up reading half of this one full out lol, I might just reread them, I really do love your writing.

cyn-
cynablaze chapter 13 . 2/19/2008
aw! I loved there "date" and Emmett is hilarious!
cynablaze chapter 12 . 2/19/2008
I think you did awesome explaining the sensation of the thirst and the constant burning, the gift Edward left for her was awesome as well.

cyn-
cynablaze chapter 11 . 2/19/2008
It was nice to know his side a bit. Thanks for adding this in!cyn-
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