|Reviews for What If|
| ThatDarkCat chapter 1 . 12/3/2014
Not bad, actually. You just need to work on the grammar and try to make Jaycen a bit less Mary Sue-ish.
But still OK.
| Joyah chapter 1 . 11/2/2008
This is freaky-deeky awsome CRAZY cute. Love it!
| lostsun chapter 1 . 7/9/2007
Aww, don't leave it at a cliff hanger! I love it so far! _
| xArle chapter 1 . 6/2/2007
When I first started reading this it didn't sound like something I would like, but I read it anyway and i'm glad I did cause it's a good story.
If it helps here are some typos I found in the first chapter:
-In the second line, realised should be realized.
-"He passed away not to long ago" should be too, not to.
-It's spelled defense attorney, not defense attorney.
-"I then did the strangest thing I have ever done in her life" should be my life.
Hope it helps. ; Please update soon.
| Wrestlemania chapter 1 . 5/25/2007
Hm... The story is well made, and even a bit gripping. In complete honesty, while I like this fanfic, I can't say that it'll go down as one of my personal favorites (hard list to get to, to be honest!) although it's definitely a nice example of strong use of new character insertion, although near the end, I saw a few typos (Phonix, smell instead of 'smells', etc.)
Ah, yes. Time for a ranking!... hm... 7.25/10. Nicely done, and I hope to see more from ye in the future!
| 966kururu chapter 1 . 5/21/2007
i can relate to this, people always question my gender... good story, update soon!
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/20/2007
Um. FYI. Maya and Franziska are the same age.
And your opening is a bit too short to review...