Oh my la... my eyes rolled out of their sockets. Your writing has much improved since this lolz

bah cant finish a job anyone

I'm liking this, but I'm confused as to why kenobi would wait so long for training kale, doesn't seem to make much since to me. But than again this is the second chapter so maybe it'll be revealed later.

I don’t like most of your stories because of sexist undertones. I don’t know why you decided to make this story but I have to say I want to like it, but like many of your stories I just can’t. There is so much that kale could have doe but he didn’t. He could have taken Mara into custody. Honestly it doesn’t make any sense the rebels let him let her go. The fight with Vader is beyond nonsensical. Even if he didn’t want to kill him no effort was made to restrain him or knock him unconscious. Your character is so naive it Is frankly unbelievable. You character had his entire family killed and did the equivalent of letting the killer go and giving him a bicycle as a get away vehicle. The plot is so forced that I physically chocking and rolling my eyes every other paragraph. I don’t appreciate the feeling so I will stop here. Ps. If your going to make your character self righteous you should at least take kryptonite out of the equation

Lmao, what a pussy. He falls in love with a girl only in a day and he crys like a little bitch after she betrays and tries to murder him. Furthermore, after only a day he told his mother he loves her, he spares her killer and the girl who betrayed him while crying. Clearly this MC is nothing but an incompetent pushover. Good thing i only wasted little time.

Well...
You not only killed his parents in the previous chapter, now you took the rest of them...
It kind of killed it for me... There is a difference between a Happy go lucky story and a downright tragedy that never seems to end. That was just too much for me. You should have left some live in my opinion.
Because now I just don't see the appeal anymore, the story lost meaning.

Well, considering it's Vader who has ALWAYS hated Tatooine and lost so much to it, finally snapping and BDZ'ing the shit out of it after losing his son (and to his knowledge at the time, his only child) there isn't out of character at all.

Awesomeness

Huh, so is the invasion of Corscant supposed to feel like D-day...

is it the Zilo Beast

That's kinda deplressing, even though that guy went home to rethink his life in Episode 2... He still ended up selling Death sticks again...

I really apreciate the scene where yoda realizes he's partially responsible

Fantastic story-very well-written, deeply researched, characterization is excellent. Great job!

You are one of my favorite authors. I am so glad I never read this story until now. If I did, I never would have looked at the rest of your stories.

Intriguing and (well enough written in my opinion) a very good story. I like it, I like it a lot! It seems to be meshing the realities quite well, and I can hardly wait (but I will) to see where it all goes. I do know this, when someone who is not the creator of a character, writes about them, it is to have them do something that the creator doesn't want to or didn't think of. I know that I always think of my favorite characters doing things, I have never read of in books or seen them doing in movies. I think it is fantastic that others (here in "FanFiction") are actually writing their stories of what they want them to do in a "What If" world. For those who complain that the characters would not do this or that, forget them. You need to write this first for yourself, and then for the rest of us who do enjoy your take on what just might, could, should, would and probability (if a frog had wings, his ass wouldn't bump the ground nearly so often) can happen. I do know this as well, I am enjoying it and will follow it as long as you will write it. Also, do NOT feel pushed to post, sometimes the words and thoughts just flow and sometimes you have to cogitate for a bit. Just learn to let them grow at their own pace and those of us who appreciate them will be here to read them when they are posted.

Thank you so much for sharing.