Reviews for In a Kingdom by the Sea
Kaj-Nrig chapter 1 . 3/30/2009
What to say, what to say...

Well, I suppose this is as good a start as any: I came across this fic because I was wondering just how many other stories had "Kingdom by the Sea" in their titles. I figured there had to be plenty, considering the popularity of the poem. (In case you're wondering, there are 10 results total as of 3-30-09.)

Anyhow, onto the review.

I find that the story, while very beautiful, succumbs to many of the cliches of the genre. However, cliches are only cliches because they've been used since antiquity, so your usage here, especially considering its basis on Shakespeare and Poe, isn't very surprising or detrimental at all. It feels like a classic Romantic story, which is what you were going for, I believe.

However, the story also succumbs to the same problems as most wildly AU stories, namely character decharacterization. There is little familiarity to engender any sympathy in the reader. Kairi is too different, Riku is too different, everyone is just too different to be likable. Setting it in an alternate world is understandable given the subject matter, but it would have been more emotionally engaging if the characters had retained more of their... "real" selves. (Going along with the Romeo and Juliet idea, I honestly thought Sora would go the route of, say... Mercutio or Tybalt. Or maybe Paris. Or maybe a mix of the three.)

The characterization aside, the rest of the story plays out beautifully, if not predictably. Your vocabulary seems to falter a bit towards the end, but even then, it manages to be aesthetically pleasing. There are a few verb tense hiccups along the way, but those can be counted on one hand (3 instances, I believe).

As far as the treatment of the Poe poem goes, I find that it's unfortunately too often treated as a sort of tragic love story akin to Romeo and Juliet. There's that little question of the speaker's sanity that always lies just under the surface, and I think it would have been nice to see that in this rendition of the story. All the same, your treatment of it is, again, a classically Romantic one, and one that is well-executed.

So while the decharacterization (and even slight caricaturization) takes a lot away from the story's overall impact, the visually appealing aesthetic design overcomes all of that to tell a very classic, elegant, and tragic story.

Anyway. That's my take on it. Nice writing, and good luck on whatever else you're doing nowadays. (Way to bring back a two-year old story, eh?)
muds chapter 1 . 7/28/2008
this was beautiful.

i love annabel lee.

you should do kairiku more often. you do it beautifully.
existent being chapter 1 . 10/24/2007
OMGEE..Annabelle Lee! (o rhyme) 8D I remember we had to make aplay of this in school last year..u portrayed it well! good job! (even though i don't like this pairing)
Rebecca chapter 1 . 8/19/2007
I read this.. and I just cried. It was so beautiful, yet so sad. -Sniffle.- Atleast Riku and Kairi are together at last. I love how he fought for her, and fought to be with her.
Courtaari chapter 1 . 7/16/2007
Beautiful, just beautiful. And, so tragic! One of my favorite poems by Edgar Allen Poe, AND a Romeo and Juliet feel! Perfect. Not to mention my Kingdom Hearts OTP. Axel and Larxene were a nice touch. I actually like that pairing... _;
darkangel402 chapter 1 . 6/8/2007
Oh. My. Goodness.

That was the most beautifullest story I have read!

And only one chapter.

Wow...the love, the tragedy...all too great...

Wow...

There really are no words to explain...

Wow...

I loved it!
i AM the Random Idiot chapter 1 . 6/7/2007
*tear* It was so pretty...

I loved it. KEEP THE OLD SCHOOL LOVE ALIVE!
Tishannia chapter 1 . 6/6/2007
Oh, wow. That was absolutely stunning. Beautiful.

Your descriptions and detail were fantastic - you didn't overdo it and I could see every image in my head. The theme elements; tragedy, love, etc, all tied in really nicely. Each of your transitions were very smooth and it just... Overall, it worked. I love it. Riku & Kairi were the perfect coupling for this kind of a story.
Angela chapter 1 . 6/1/2007
I loved it. It was beautiful. I was crying already. I loved how you wrote it, it's a really good story. Your wriing skills are superb. This isn't one of my favorite pairings- I actually like Sora x Kairi -but you've moved me so much that I might make a fanfic with this pairing too. I love that poem too. When my brothers were passing by I was looking away and crying at the same time. I love you.

Kisses and love

~The Prettiest Angel In Her Dreams
SecretBox chapter 1 . 5/30/2007
Oh. Em. Gee. GOSH. That was freaking gorgeous! Fantastic! No, seriously, this was just absolutely lovely. So tragic, yet so romantic . . . I couldn't help but love it. Those are my two favorite genres after all (romance/tragedy), and when combined so deliciously and tastefully they can make for a heady combo, just like this fic! It's just so different from anything I'd ever read before . . . very original, to say the least. :]

My eyes watered over at several parts, but what I think broke me the most was Riku's denial. Wow. "No, no," he whispers as his two friends approach, worried now. "She'll be fine, you'll see." I was tearing up so horribly at that part! I had to duck my head when my brother walked by, lol. xD

&& the fact that Kairi (her name meaning 'sea') DROWNED to death just reallyreally struck me. You're a genuis! I would have never thought of that! I've always liked playing on symbols whenever writing about Kairi or her Other, but killing her off like THIS just never occurred to me (Haha, how horrible do I sound when I say that? LOL.). Amazing, really.

All in all, good job. I heart you and this fic; it is SO going to the faves. Please, keep on writing!
Constance Greene chapter 1 . 5/25/2007
NOO. AHH. TRAGIC!

This was awesome. Ohmygoodness. So romantic-y. And Kairiku. Kairiku, Kairiku, Kairiku. ;-; I threw a fit when Kairi died. And how Riku would... do that. Carry her and think her alive still. So sad. And then when he killed himself... -teared up.- Especially when he talked to her. Ack.

And then fluff~! When he fell on top of her and then kissed her... teehee. But yes. I liked this so very much. The characterization was wonderful - all in character as far as I could tell. The old-age mood was very interesting. The description was enough to be very nice and easy to follow. And I love the poem! One of my favourites by Poe, besides "A Dream Within A Dream."

Yes. I get very obsessive when it comes to my ultimate OTP. Sorry. XD

Uh... yeah. -had no clue that the parents were even from KH.- Eheh. I didn't pay much attention; I just knew that Larxene was a bitch. :]

-favourites~-

.x. Constance.
dawn in the fields chapter 1 . 5/25/2007
x3 aww, how pretty~

looking on from an aesthete's view, the writing seems to be a little awkward in places, however, that adds to the prettiness. but this is coming from the girl who refused to write in capitals for a whole fic because it 'didn't look nice'. xD

but beautiful writing style~

Haha. Axel and Larxene. xD I was so cheap and guessed that early. xD

I hope your writing goes well later on too~!

Ah, Thinking of You has been finished beta-ing. (Wait, what?) As soon as you're online I can send it to you~! x3

I'll talk to you around, ja?

-namikun
Following Padfoot's Pawprints chapter 1 . 5/24/2007
Is it Axel and Larxene? Outta curiousity... This was very well written and I liked it a lot, very nice!

~Padfoot
0-Crimson-0-Nightshade-0 chapter 1 . 5/24/2007
*sob* it... its so beautiful... and so sad... I am so adoring your writing again...
Hiei-Riku-RubedoFAN chapter 1 . 5/24/2007
I liked this but I do not agree with the pairing. It was well written and I loved reading it. Ok this is a sucky guess but is it Axel and Larxene? Please hit me upside the head and say I'm stupid. Please! That's just a scary pair. ANYWAY, I really like this and I think this is a good one shot. I shall place this in my favorites! I loved it! Very good writing! Hey could you check out my one shot called Uncertainty? You don't have to just asking though. Anyway I can't tell you how much I liked this!
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