|Reviews for Promised|
| beckythepirate chapter 1 . 2/18/2008
Oh nice. Very tense. I really like the way you construct your stories nice work.
| MuddledMusings chapter 1 . 9/17/2007
I found this through a forum where you mentioned you were concerned this piece 'sucked.' I don't think it's fair for anyone to be wandering around not knowing where they stand with their writing, so I decided to give you a shot.
My first impression was that you have a lot of grammar mistakes. None of us are perfect. In fact, most of us are quite the opposite, however, it pays to read, reread, and then reread again. You might want to try getting a beta. If you choose not to use one, then you really have to go through your piece and pick through it. Weeding through fics is annoying and tedious, but it's worth it. Most people are turned off by too many type-o's. It suggests that either the author doesn't really care, or that they are simply not responisble enough to read through their piece. The assumption may not be true, but it's there nonetheless.
Also, your descriptions tend to be a little drawn out. The reader doesn't need a paragraph focusing on the glow of the sun. It's great that you're willing to put that much effort into painting a picture for us, but it's really uneccessary, and after a certain point, it gets a little annoying.
You have great potential, and I think your characterization of Dean and his relationship with Sam was perfect. You may just need to take some time with each fic to really craft it out. When I write a piece that is really giving me a headache, I find it helps to print it out and take a really bright red pen to it. Scribbling all over pieces of paper gives me unreasonable levels of immense satisfaction. Not to mention it tends to be easier to see mistakes on paper. Not sure why, but it is.
Don't give up. (People suck at reviewing; it's a sad but true fact. They're just lazy.) We're all struggling to become better writers. No matter where you're at now, you can always improve. Good luck! (Sorry for the length.)
| ta1nt3d1uv chapter 1 . 7/12/2007
In the first paragraph you put two w's in was, and in the second you have 'aournd' instead of around. I would stay away from exclamation points, unless they're necessary. (Like, I think the NO! is okay, but not so much the first time you use it)...and besides that I just see some more minor typos. So just read through it, fix the little typos...and maybe get a beta? And overall, people tend to not review. It sucks, but oh well.
Personally, big paragraphs or clumps of description kind of deters me. I, as my own little writer, like to imagine things myself instead of having them drawn out for me. Most people aren't like that, it's my own thing. And I like to italicize thoughts. Makes it easier to read, I think. I guess I'm a lazy reader or something...hm.
Anyway, I liked it. At the end, that's so Dean. And so Sam to be a bit overdramatic. Good job.
| Eliza Spootkitten chapter 1 . 6/22/2007
that was kind of funny in parts. "the sun was beginning to rise... and shine" Haha! sorry.