Reviews for Monsters of Deimon
Idon'thaveanaccount chapter 16 . 5/19/2008
I just recently started reading in this fandom, but I must say that this is the best I've read in it.

It's got the football part and even if sometimes I get a little lost with technical names, because I don't understand much, I can almost see what's going on, wich is great, since most fics don't really go into that.

It'a also got the story, character's development and the funny parts.

It's a really good fic, and I hope you keep going and doing a great job like you've been doing until now.
Frytas-90 chapter 16 . 4/6/2008
Very good story. You seem to be very knowledgeable about football.

I myself play in my highschool team as a quarterback, and i enjoy how you write matches.
mikatann chapter 16 . 3/12/2008
I love Riku. So utterly...American. (and man can he trash-talk!) For real. perhaps I should have commented on previous chapters about this, but I really like the way Riku exemplifies the difference in Asia and America's attitudes. How he's all flirty with Mamori and all, and obviously isn't as proper as most asian kids are.

Just a suggestion: maybe you can work something in about the differences between American and asian mindsets when it comes to teamwork. Asians have more of a group mentality, and are way less individualistic and outspoken, not to mention much more adhering to authority of any sort (ex: the sempai/kouhai system...). Just a suggestion, though. It's an issue that I've never seen covered in any fanfic and maybe would add a little more dimension to Riku's character- which already has lots of it, but just food for thought.

I love this fic. Keep up the awesome work, I really look forward to reading more of it.
mikatann chapter 13 . 3/12/2008
Wow. I love this fic so far. It really does look as if you did a lot of research on football, and it certainly shows. (Although admittedly despite being 'merican I'm pretty clueless about the sport- can't even tell a fricking linebacker from a quarterback, really.)

The descriptions of the games with all the little details on the plays totally rock.

Keep up the awesome work.
Fanfictionwriterhopeful chapter 16 . 3/12/2008
This story is amazing! I'm not a hardcore American football fan, yet anyway, so some of the terms used confuse me a bit but you write with enough detail that I can still understand without me losing interest. Eyeshield 21 is a great Shonen anime, unfortunately no one else seems to have the time, knowledge or skills to write a fanfiction that isn't either a pure romance Hiruma/Mamori (not that I'm against the pairing) or Yaoi.

I'm trying to write an Eyeshield 21 fanfiction with a mostly original team; the Darwin High Wild Beasts. Each player is represented by an animal and is either completely original or is a character from an anime (one character per anime (at least for the main team)). Characters include: Ranma- wild horse, Luffy- gorilla/orangutan, Naruto- kitsune, Inuyasha- dog, Cougar Straight- cheetah, Bakura- king cobra, Agito/Akito (Air Gear)- shark, Louie (Rune Soldier)- wild boar, and some OCs like a person who, while slow, is an expert of shifting his body to deflect tackles and grabs and is also good at protecting the ball (represented by a turtle), twins (I got the idea from Sasuke and Itachi from your story) who are perfectly in synch with one another and can do that "freaky twin thing" where the say the same thing/finish each other's sentences as a strange form of intimidation (represented by a pair of dolphins?). I'll probably also add some non-playing characters to the team such as a first-aid, an information gatherer (Niijima from Kenichi) and several others.

I have all of these ideas flowing through my head but I don't know enough about football and I'm too inconsistant to write it. If you would consider writing this or know someone else who would do it I would be very greatful, even if I am not credited for the idea.

If you wish to hear the other ideas I have for this story (possible plays, a beginning of a backstory to how the team was started, etc.) then e-mail me at

Thank you for your time and I hope to hear from you soon.
LigerJager chapter 16 . 3/11/2008
I don't know what to say really. I mean you just managed to outdo yourself again with another excellent chapter, which I enjoyed immensely.

Well, I'll tell you what I liked and found worked well for this chapter and your story in general. That it was more realistic and a major victory on interantional television made it that much better.

What i do like about this chapter in particular is the switching POV's and how more of it comes from Riku's, the defensive and the general audience's perspective rather than just purely Sena's. It was more...balanced and it worked. Definitely kept the momentum going.

And Honestly seeing how intimidated the Alien's were by Riku just kept me grinning maniacally the entire time. It was also good to know that he could stop Panther, rather than the canon where only Shin was able to 'truly' stop the Runningback. And I truly do like that this POV on the canon events is more balanced and not just all about Sena and his inner struggles (as much as I like the squirt, sometimes it gets a bit tiresome)

What I did miss were the other Team's reactions and comments during the entire game. Granted I could do without the 'I am Superman because i can do push ups on my fingers' Shin, for a while longer, but perhaps a little from the rest of Oujo, some from Taiyou, definitely Seibu, and perhaps Shinryuuji (or rather Unsui?). Their comments were definitely entertaining.

I know they'll be commenting when the tournament for the Christmas bowl starts, but it would have been nice to see. With this current lineup as strong as it is, I can only imagine them breezing through the Preliminaries, but then again, you never know and they are facing Seibu.

What I did enjoy (and it surprised me, becaus i rather use actions to speak for me) was the smack talk between Riku and Homer (and, well, Panther). Especially when he was chanting about coming for the QB (can you imagine all the evil cackles that filled this side of the screen?). Though, sometimes I kinda lost track of what they meant when they were talking some slang (kinda made me feel like a dunce).

And I did like that you brought out a bit of the somewhat vicious nature that Riku had to possess somewhere in there and showcased it spectacularly (especially when he took out Panther, I could mentally hear that crunch, ouch!). Just gotta wonder how those hits affected Shin (if at all).

Anyways, keep going wild with this fict and just enjoy it! Until next time!
Shadow Zeranion chapter 16 . 3/11/2008
YA-HA! Let the Death March begin! I can't wait to see what happens during their time in America! Maybe they'll met some of Riku's friends from America! :3
Elfdragon12 chapter 15 . 2/15/2008
Wow, I think that this is an amazing Eyeshield 21 fanfiction. Unlike most other fanfics, you put a lot of focus into the game and not just the story. This makes it rather refreshing to read, though I have to admit that I was sometimes confused. However, that's more of a lack of knowledge on my part. I've always been more of a 'get off the marching field!' person since I've been a band geek most of my life(Although the game is much easier to get into when you have a home team that actually wins more than once a season).

I rather like 'Riku'. I especially liked how he wasn't that great at Japanese when he first arrived. It gave a definite touch of reality to him. The fact that no one gets his actual name right is something I like too. It's pretty funny to see-er, read him getting on Mamori's case. Riku has been one of the best and most real 'American gets transferred to Japan' characters I've read so far.

I can't wait to read more of this story.
Anime 300 chapter 15 . 1/25/2008
Great job! I'm learning a lot about football here _ I like how you did it from second view perspective, it gave me a better idea on what was going on. Keep up the good work!
Wings of Tomorrow chapter 15 . 1/25/2008
I've been following this story for a while, and it's hard to cram everything into one review. I am thoroughly impressed with the knowledge and depth of American Football that is depicted here. Everytime I read a chapter with a game, I feel as if I'm watching television, only better. Eyeshield 21 got me hooked onto football, but you're really taking this to the next level. I like how you translated the censored parts of the Apollo-Hiruma exchange; I could make out some of the words, but not all of them XD. Of course, there are other great aspects about how you write this fanfic. I also noticed how the players that came to Deimon in your fanfic are significantly stronger compared to the manga; it's great to see what can happend with these new possibilities. Good luck, and thank you for writing! Seriously, more reviews, people!
Anime 300 chapter 10 . 1/17/2008
This is great. I love it. You're doing a good job of portraying different views of the characters' personality. Keep up the good work!
Shadow Zeranion chapter 14 . 1/11/2008
I look forward to the game against NASA. Apollo is really gonna eat his words!
Sasswot2000 chapter 13 . 1/7/2008
Sorry for the double review. After doing some quick research, I discovered that not only did the Titan's loose that game (it's been so long that I didn't remember any more) and more insult to injury, they don't give rings to the loosers.

Yeah.

Whoops moment.
Sasswot2000 chapter 14 . 1/7/2008
I'm really liking this story, being a big fan of ES 21.

And I like the idea of sparing us from Machinegun Sanada.

As another thing I'd like to add, I'm a bit disappointed that Apollo didn't run with the Titans for a few more years.

Then he could've added his Super Bowl ring to the pot.
LigerJager chapter 14 . 1/2/2008
*sigh* what is this world coming to when another excellent chapter is turned out and no one comments? For shame! I'll just remedy that.

Well done,the construction made the story that mush easier to comprehend and again, well written. The consistency of the pace throughout helped set the tone for this installment and was very much appreciated.

Now, firstly what I liked was the attention grabber with the article. while it seemed Kumabukuro was a bit too enthusiastic it's understandable. Also it's a bit refreshing hearing the events from another person's point of view.

As for figuring Apollo into the Oiler's transition faze, not only is it plausible but makes the story seem more realistic. Since the series is about football, it only makes sense to have facts to help strengthen the story. Also bringing up and comparing players is effective and helps give the reader an idea about the character's playing style and what not.

(shrugs) the whole Apollo backstory and Aliens' relationship don't bother me all that much.

Now the whole last part with Riku teasing mamori was just evil, brilliant, but evil...and I haven't grinned so sadistically in such a long time. Guess that means he has some blackmail and teasing material to 'torture' Mamori with. Sena's comments and reactions throughout are priceless.

And the whole advice/mentorship is what makes your (oc) character gold. Subtle but well done character developement. (applaudes)

It will be fun to see how they devise a way to shut down the pass routes as it will be defense/Riku's domain. Also who get's switched up with who (more grumbling from Higurashi, anyone?). Am looking forward seeing how personalities on the team develope and grow. What's excellent about your fict is you spend more time developing the secondary team characters and it gives not only the story more depth but also makes the team more dynamic as well.

Anywho am looking forward to your next chapter and whatever unholy craziness you will unleash to terrorize the world with.
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