|Reviews for A day in the life of a king|
| Yuuram88 chapter 2 . 7/4/2007
A good story just need to work on your grammer a little bit. However the ending was cute and sweet. Good job!
| SofiaDragon chapter 2 . 5/28/2007
You need a lot of work, but keep at it! Practice makes perfect. Sorry to be mean, but this needs to be said: there is this grammatical symbol called the quote that authors use to tell the reader which words are said aloud or thought in the character's head. Please take the time to look up the grammatical rules for using quotes. You also use conjunctions to start sentences, a terrible grammatical mistake. It is hard to tell who is doing what because you tend to have too many paragraph breaks and switch point of view mid-paragraph. Here is a section cleaned up for you:
compare this to the end of chapter 2
"Is that you... ?" a voice whispered, stopping in mid sentence. Wolfram stopped in his tracks.
Yuuri remained quiet hoping that Wolfram would think it was nothing and leave, but he didn’t. Wolfram took measured steps toward his Yuuri.
"Yuuri, I just came to tell you that ….I...I’m …SORRY I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to have some time alone to think. I’m sorry I said what I did. Will you forgive me?"
"Yes, whatever you may say or do you're still the one I’ll always love and love conquers all," Yuuri replied. With that Yuuri crushed their lips together for a sweet kiss. Just one of many to come that night.
There you have it.
| Sesshyro chapter 1 . 5/28/2007
Um...maybe you should put the "..." for the dialogue thing it's clearer that way...
| emeraldsmile chapter 1 . 5/27/2007
...actually im a little confuse coz I dont really understand...may be im a bit dum...but what ever the story are,I only get the point,YUURAM! my fav couple so continue