Reviews for Wild Horse
Tsukune-Sama chapter 1 . 1/21/2012
I love it. A few spelling, and grammer mistakess here and there, but I like it.
WasFoundChangedName chapter 9 . 11/4/2011
I think this story was amazing and i loved it! i really wish you would make a sequel you know. but its your choice. Take Care until then!
Mijumaruwott chapter 9 . 7/4/2011
Fascinating. It's amazing how reading about other couples transforms some characters.

Very, very nice job.
feernando chapter 5 . 2/9/2011
the story is really good but ch 5 was the best
chibisamasempai20 chapter 2 . 11/13/2010
really nice story! it's better Ranma-Shampoo than Ranma-Akane. :)
the naru foxxx chapter 2 . 7/22/2010
Mr.T pittys the fool who's not

Going 2 wright the name down just the first lether espily win it leads 2 this

Mr.T doent fill pain, pain fills mr.T oh and mr.T also asomes that you ment
xXIsolatedDraknessXx chapter 9 . 9/3/2009
seriouslky im just glad that ranma was able to tell shampoo that he luvs him

and also shampoo X ranma is better since the traditional akane ranma pairin is just plain stupid i mean dont take me wrong but akane is such a a bitch lik geez! -.-

but anyways i luv ur story n i hope u make a great sequel
xXIsolatedDraknessXx chapter 3 . 9/2/2009
seriously i really luv the imagery of the rain with ranmas feelings i seriously luv it
SimplySinful21 chapter 9 . 8/5/2009
just read "Wild Horse" and loved every word of it! though i suspected that shampoo was pregnate, which was the reason for her strange behaivor. but anyway, loved the story!

4rom da blck chick$
HisRoyalNipple chapter 1 . 7/10/2009
I honestly think the story should have been a oneshot because of the ending to this chapter it was a perfect ending.
Hiryo chapter 9 . 5/6/2009
Nice waffy ending I liked that very much!

Maybe you'll write another Ranma fanfic.

I look forward for your next installment. ;)
Otaku-SIG chapter 1 . 4/30/2009
Wow! Incredible 1st chapter! I'm gonna go on soon, this fic looks great! Thanks for writing
Ganheim chapter 9 . 4/9/2009
Chapter 9

and I definitely tried hard to keep myself from seeking her hands to touch me.

[This grammar is a little confusing…is she trying to touch him and he’s holding her back? Based on the rest of the narrative, they’re just standing there; I think it would be more appropriate for him to think (in this segment) that he wants her to reach out to him]

Our position right now is like the moth being attracted by the blazing fire,

[The way this looks, I get the sense that he is referring to a literal position rather than just the sensation – replacing ‘our position right now is’ with ‘I feel like’]

but I know for myself that I don’t want that either.

[or ‘I know for certain’?]

“Will this how you will treat

[will this _be_]

don’t play with me anymore…”,

[Extraneous comma]

than you could ever know”

[Missing closing period]

don’t plan to play with you”

[Missing closing period]

“Shampoo didn’t hear it”

[Missing closing period]

“You’re so stupid”,

[Although certain punctuation schools place the comma outside of a quote mark when using a partial quote, I believe simple dialog like this would have the comma immediately after ‘stupid’ instead of outside the quote]

I guess that I don’t have any worth to you if I’m not your husband.”

[Now this part confuses me: he’s not married to somebody else, and he’s confessing his love to her… What obstacle is there that would stop him from just marrying her? They’ve already had sex, which in most cultures in the world is the point of no return]

“Ranma is so stupid”

[Missing closing punctuation]

“I love you too silly!”

Dumbfounded,

[Were I not sitting, I think I might have done a facefault. How many times has she told him quite clearly that she loves him, from all the way back in the series? Granted, they’ve been separated, but _he moved away to go to college_, at least that was how I understood the story to go. It does seem a little odd that she’d have just left him alone but it’s logical that she’d get tired of pursuing him without getting much of any sign of acceptance. Then in chapter one she finds him and they sleep together – unless something happened to drastically cheapen both their morals wouldn’t that pretty strongly indicate they still feel for each other? Love can be confusing and make people do stupid things, yes, but…maybe I’m just expecting them to take a slightly different path (at least in their thought-processes) than you’ve done. Still sensible, given the path you’ve taken in your story]

“Could you say that again please”

[Missing question mark]

you didn’t answer me”

[Missing closing period]

“Y-Yeah”

[Missing closing period]

kind of woman to fall on their butts.

[Maintain number consistency: fall on _her butt_]

Of all the people who will see us, why them!

[Interrogative missing a question mark. I’m also curious as to why he cares about them – he now has enough distance (literally: he lives far away from them) that he doesn’t need their approval]

their face all landing on the old hag.

[You mean their _gaze_ landing?]

she looked at Shampoo,

[Missing a period to close the sentence]

“”Come with us too

[Extraneous double quote mark. I also think the ‘too’ is unnecessary]

Kuno entered the conversation, his smile looks like he’s scheming.

[Which Kuno? There’s Tatewaki, Kodachi, and the technically-unnamed-principal. I also think the second segment would look better like:]

his smile hiding a scheme.

I suggest that you two should share a room”

[Missing closing period, and the ‘should’ is unnecessary]

she cutely inquired, innocence pouring and a little tinge out doubt at the same time.

[I’m not sure what this descriptor is implying. Is she being openly sarcastic? Teasing (especially if she’s speaking with ‘false innocence’)?]

I never know that Shampoo could even think like this,

[Wasn’t this obstacle something they just overcame a while ago?]

The characterization wavered a little bit (which is understandable, some fanfic authors will have different interpretations), but your mastery of the use of English has made noticeable improvement since you started this story. Grammar, punctuation, and phrasing are significantly better.
Guest chapter 9 . 4/7/2009
Any plans for a new story? Thanks for finishing and the shout out. I enjoyed reading it.
The-Jaron chapter 9 . 4/7/2009
wow

it's finished

and what a story

a lovely sweet ending

great

cool

Jaron out
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