Reviews for Winning Love in a Game of Dice
CommenTroll chapter 5 . 6/27/2015
I know this was written a long time ago, but I can't help but say something about it. After the first two chapters, nothing makes sense. Why does Axel do the things he does? And the crew is without personality and flair if they are mindlessly obedient. Pirates aren't completely dependent on their captain, that's why there are mutinies. Also, did Roxas forget that Axel ordered the death of his brother Sora along with everyone he knew in his hometown? He did, didn't he? Why else would he lust after the captain and simply do as he's told?
And when drunk, Roxas doesn't unload the raging emotions about the death of his brother onto Axel's sleeping, in fact he crows nonsense about being a better pirate than Axel. When before he didn't believe in pirates, and he shouldn't have wanted to be a pirate, and has no experience as a pirate.

The writing and settup of story is beautiful. But then after the first chapter, dialogue and plot kind of slip away. ...And no one questions the magic Axel pulls with Roxas's cuffs?

If I were Roxas, as Roxas' canon personality, I would have truly attempted to kill Axel after what he did to my hometown, and after killing my brother Sora. I'd have taken that gun I woke up with in hand and pointed it at Axel's head. However, power of yaoi-yet-to-come stops me as I find that for some reason I simply can't kill Axel. I'd ponder if it was because I'd never killed a person before and it's just weakness, or if it was because I (Roxas) couldn't kill /him/. Then Axel would do some wicked pirate skills to steal the gun away and immobilize me (Roxas) in a semi-sexual way. Ok, I lied. Very sexual way. I (Roxas) would struggle and shout something about that gun being the last I have of my brother that you killed you son of a bitch. Axel would have to really throw Roxas in the brig (not because of a whim, but because Roxas tried to not only escape, but take his life) most likely for three days. Food brought down to him by Zexion, who would care less about talking with pretty much anyone unless it's about work. Then Roxas would be brought to the deck and given a list of duties.

And at the end of the list, Roxas would be humming and finally singing the pirate shanty while cleaning the windows of the captain's room. Only for Axel to walk in on Roxy singing like a true pirate.

That would lead to an interesting conversation that has Roxas questioning his resolve to kill Axel for his brother's murder.

The next day the crew would land the ship on Axel's island, (why call it blue?) Oblivion. His reason for naming it Oblivion? His poetic side of course. A spit of land that sits on an ocean, horizons unending, as though standing on the edge of oblivion. (It parallels with Castle Oblivion from canon games) Axel would release Roxas on the island...and Roxas would have to learn to hunt and forage for food. Survival skills as step one for becoming a pirate.

The thing with booze of any dehidrates you. As I'm sure you know because this is old fanfiction. The moment that Roxas would have drank it, he would have been throwing up because he ate nothing in 3 days, and owning a headache later that would part the ocean like Moses. Roxas hadn't drank before, so he's starting out with low tolerance that's a given. He's having the rum without water and without food to go with it so it will upset his stomache.

It just spells bad.

So...if Roxas chose to be smart and hunt for food, build his own fire opposite the side of the island the Pirates are on, and eat his fill before trying rum, then he could handle it a bit easier.
What he'd do when drunk... sing and dance around his fire is my first guess. Then he'd fall down and lament loudly to the stars about his place in life and how Sora shouldn't have died, and possibly think that he should have died in that fire instead. Then drunk-mind would get Roxas thinking...why did Axel chose him, and only him? To have him watch his home burn? Why? And drunk-Roxas would suggest to himself to ask the man himself, and drunk-Roxas would think 'that sounds like a great idea'. Roxas would stumble over to the pirate camp and stumble to a halt where Axel would sleep. (Axel would be wide awake from the shuffling of drunken feet, but waiting to see what happens) Roxas would fall to a sitting position, and find it easier to ask questions and lament further to a prone and sleeping Axel...questions turning into a long rant. Not expecting Axel to reply at the very end after a few seconds of silence.

What happens next? A stroll through the sands away from the pirate camp with deep talk about answers and then...
Sex on the beach.
Boom. The end. Applause.

Lol, but in all seriousness I liked the start of this story. It should be updated, maybe revised. Give Roxas some backbone that Axel can appreciate.
StarBittenWolf chapter 1 . 9/9/2014
Plz finish story
AXEL Just Couldnt Resist ROXAS chapter 13 . 1/31/2013
Please please please update!
Russiada chapter 14 . 3/5/2012
Please update? Pretty please?
kokoro77's 1 fan chapter 14 . 11/13/2011
please finish this story! i love it!
AnimositysDaughter chapter 14 . 7/15/2011
I love you for writing such amazing things. And as much as the cliff hanger bugs me I still must say that this story is FUCKING AMAZING.
Harmonic Sniper chapter 14 . 7/14/2011
Riku! So Rikus still alive hmmm, please continue writing!
AkuRokuStalker chapter 14 . 7/13/2011
ya know i hate u rite? u an ur incapability to update... ugh u annoy me!
hoe chapter 5 . 3/8/2011
DOnt say "emo" stayrotypeer
TwistedFate108 chapter 14 . 3/6/2011
BlackSheepOfEurope chapter 14 . 12/28/2010
Omg! This story is amazing )Please update soon, it's about time someone made a well-written pirate adventure ]
Kk101 chapter 14 . 12/3/2010
AkuRokuStalker chapter 14 . 12/2/2010
DO U KNOW HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN WAITIN UPDATE! SOOOO, UPDATE... NOW! BEFORE I MAKE U UPDATE! sorry if im 2 harsh BUUUT this story is 2 good not to finish
ILIKETHEWORDPIE chapter 14 . 10/30/2010
ARG! You and your damn cliff hangers! I love this story but this is just too much!

Please updat soon!
JacobNlack chapter 14 . 7/22/2010
NOOOOOO! Please don't end it here. I need to know wtf is happening with Riku. Please return and finish it~ I beg you!
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