|Reviews for The Dark Lords of Nerima|
| Final-Fan chapter 23 . 2/23/2011
Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm sniffing the possibility of some Tuxedo Mask style "surgical intervention" by Ranma/Ryoga. It would let the Senshi fight and learn, yet let the boys act as backup when necessary. I wonder what disguises they would need...
| Sdarian chapter 23 . 2/20/2011
So, nearing the end of part one, is part two going to be on the same story title, or will it be a separate story link? Well, whatever it is, I'm looking forward to it!
| Commissar Gaunt chapter 23 . 2/17/2011
Ah the plot thickens...
| Louise McCrowe chapter 22 . 2/16/2011
Ok, this is a slight cheat. I just saw that you posted Ch. 23 but I also realized that I never reviewed this fic. So I have the benefit of having read that Author's Note (but I stopped there so I can do this review fairly unbiased).
If you're not into reviews with spoilers, here's my summary:
So I started reading Ranma fanfics again (had a lot of free time this Christmas) and yours was one of the stories that made me glad to come back. I liked the quality of the writing and the overall interactions between the characters. Memory's a bit fuzzy on the details but I had a good time reading this. I remember the bittersweet feeling when I finished this off on the beach, watching the hang gliders come in for their landing. Wanted more, but felt the ending was appropriate.
Some highlights (or at least the things I remember the most vividly, not all from final chapters): Shampoo's fashion sense for the costumes was spot on. Cologne's final actions had been appropriately foreshadowed and it's not as if anyone can claim that you just threw that in at the last minute. Ryoga's perfect kitty throw, and the reaction from the Sailor Senshi.
And now with some minor SPOILERS:
The generals' motivations to join the battle are revealed very nicely and make perfect sense, although the reason for their retreat seemed a bit off. If I understood it correctly, they left because their prey had escaped and they believed the Jadeite had succeeded in his plan, but it seems that, having already marshalled enough troops for a full-scale invasion, why wouldn't they keep going? Their queen's plans or displeasure or fear of failure do not seem to be foremost in their minds at that point. Surely they're not afraid of the human armies that can come after them? Have their numbers decreased that much? A bit much is left to the imagination, and I felt they could've used a better final scene.
The biggest downside (for me) to this is that it was really just one story arc and given the length, the actual payoff of seeing Ranma's plan be finalized was a bit weak. Not the battles, not the scale of the confrontations happening outside, but simply the scenes where we have Ranma and, you know, his actual PLAN dropping in place. It felt a bit "Huh? That was it? All that trouble just for that?" While I did enjoy reading this, I can't help but feel that Ranma's plan shouldn't have needed more than a few chapters to pull off. His plan involving TIME TRAVEL (manga) of all things took, what? A chapter, including planning, getting ready, and putting it into execution? I also wish you had actually done something with Beneda after her confrontation with the crone. Still, you leave the series with most of the plots resolved nicely but in a way that you could give it continuation if you ever felt like doing more with it. I mean, come on! Neo-Kuno should get more screen time, I'd love to see what'll happen to him. Still, the story overall rises above these minor things.
... That's what I would've said in my original review but then you come along and post more chapters. I'm not sure *why* I thought that Ch 22 was the last chapter. It just felt like it.
Thanks for writing this and I'm happy to see that you're not done yet.
| IOException chapter 23 . 2/14/2011
Great chapter! Explained a bit of the mystery behind Mousse’s astounding win over the Dark Mistress… It was a magical sword, and the reason he never used it before is because of some past tragedy. Interesting. Looking forward to reading more.
| sandcrawlr chapter 23 . 2/12/2011
Awesome chapter. Keep up the writing. :)
| Sammy Holzbein chapter 23 . 2/12/2011
Great chapter. Thanks a lot for the great enjoyment.
| Avid Reader Guy chapter 23 . 2/11/2011
Aww i'm going to miss this story. I still remember chpater one and how it all started. IT feels like i've done so much yet haven't moved at all. I want more!
| reviewer45 chapter 6 . 2/11/2011
So, they think the truth is a front? Yeah, I can see that being true
| Bigreader in The Omniverse chapter 23 . 2/10/2011
Woohoo, you done with "Part One" Wink. Well if continue it great, if you don't at least you finished of the main story at a good stopping point. Story lasted so long I was afraid that it would end without any conclusion. Great story claymade. I hope you continue and if you don't then give it a good tie up ending. Thanks for the fun.
| Klicker chapter 23 . 2/10/2011
Oh you really wiggled around explaining Gosunkugi's part of the story. He slammed through the doors right into General Jaedite?
So funny ).
"Slimey, yet satisfying" - I really wanted to use that line.
| Lord Patience chapter 23 . 2/10/2011
This is really fantastic. Thanks clay. It's been a while since I forwent sleep to finish a story.
| OBSERVER01 chapter 23 . 2/9/2011
good it up
| marc chapter 23 . 2/9/2011
yet another wonderful chapter. Keep up the good work!
| firedraygon chapter 23 . 2/9/2011
Lovely chapter! I like how the Nerima crew has smoke-screened their existence. I'm definitely happy to hear that this is only part 1 finishing up! Please do write more soon