|Reviews for The Dark Lords of Nerima|
| Sopchoppy chapter 22 . 12/20/2010
| flairina chapter 22 . 12/19/2010
This isn't over is it? Because I certainly hope not. I don't see a "complete", so I'm going to assume it's still ongoing. Keep it up, I loved that twist at the end!
| sandcrawlr chapter 22 . 12/19/2010
Awesome chapter. Keep up the writing.
| WanderingStarmaster chapter 22 . 12/18/2010
Quite the chapter. I assume we're getting on to the end now. I liked the battle scenes and the fight between Luna and P-chan. I'm assuming the final scene with the DD girls will be significant at some point, either in this or another story. Either way I look forward to it.
| Hebi R chapter 22 . 12/18/2010
You are AWESOME!
| numair42 chapter 22 . 12/18/2010
Hot Damn! this was a great end of one of the most insane ideas I have seen in a while. There was so much cliche material here that it's impressive it came out this good. I've been watching this story develop for a while and it's definitely worth the read. Everything from the fight scenes to the characterizations were spot on.
The big twist at the end was beautiful. Totally didn't see it coming. Where you left it, I almost don't want to see an epilogue where everything gets wrapped up. The reader can figure out the ending on their own. If you do decide to go with another chapter, you've skilled enough to be worth it.
So where are you going from here? I think a "revenge of the dark lords" near the end of the Beryl story arc would be a lot of fun. You could war game out the affects of this adventure on the balance of power. I wonder how the full inner senshi would react to Ranma and company dropping in with the amazons to help with finally defeat Beryl. I'm a sucker for a Minako/Ranma pairing, but it's rarely viable.
Thanks for writing such a great story, it's an inspiring to see good Ranma/SM fanfiction. So much of it is trash.
| windzone1234 chapter 22 . 12/17/2010
ahh Cologne its good to be reminded how devious you can get.
almost makes me wish the she and David Xanatos could try and out wit each other.
| Cap'n Chryssalid chapter 22 . 12/17/2010
Another superb chapter. Great characterization with Beneda and an effective execution of the story's climax and resolution.
However, let me offer a note of criticism I shared with Lathis just recently. It is in regards to formatting. The technique of using very short paragraphs or stand-alone single sentences to provide dramatic emphasis within the narrative is one I myself have used since Learning Curve, years ago. I am quite well acquainted to with this style of writing as a result.
However, it also comes with certain caveats. Structurally, this entire chapter is basically bereft of even one proper narrative paragraph (in the traditional sense). There are many parts that, in my opinion, could have and should have been consolidated rather than left as stand-alone. The effect of overuse of this style is that it appears somewhat disjointed. It takes a measure of editorial discipline to stick to proper traditional formatting a majority of the time, but it is still the standard novels are written to, and thus it is what we as fanfiction writers should also hold ourselves to by default.
That said... this was still an awesome chapter in an amazing fanfic. I've been editing hundreds of pages of stuff lately in a certain project, so my mind's stuck in format-war mode.
| Kasanra chapter 22 . 12/17/2010
Could this be called a cliffhanger?
Personally, I think this would be an awesome open ending. Still, I'm glad this story isn't complete yet. I'm curious to see what will happen next.
| Ghost in the Machine chapter 22 . 12/17/2010
And this was a better idea than telling the Senshi the truth when they had the chance because..?
Given that this -was- the plan, it seems to have done everything they expected it to do. This does not mean it was a good plan. How much of that was for humor reasons, I leave to those who can judge such things better than I.
My biggest problem with it is that it left Beneda twisting in the wind. If not for Cologne's surprise resolution (which, like some other folks, I should have seen coming but didn't), Ranma's actions would have been effectively pointless.
And just a note to folks who read reviews first, claymade hasn't marked this story as complete. I'm pretty sure he's got some ideas still up his sleeve. (Heck, Beneda adjusting to life as a part time human would make a great story all by itself.)
| Zaru chapter 22 . 12/17/2010
I don't know what to sat. You executed this masterfully and allowed Beneda to live! I can't wait for what's next!
| Check Your Premise chapter 22 . 12/17/2010
wow that was amazing im hanging on the edge of my seat here, wondering exactly what will happen next.
| Freehawk chapter 22 . 12/17/2010
excellent chapter, with a wonderful conclusion to the battles that have raged for many chapters! Keep up the good work!
| Corsairs chapter 22 . 12/17/2010
"Why thank you, child," replied Cologne. "I certainly couldn't have done it without your help. If I had tried to fight those two Dark Lords myself... the result would doubtless have been brief and one-sided."
Ha ha, I had to laugh. Not sure if you intended it or not. The result of a battle between Ranma and Crew vs. Cologne will be brief and one-sided for whom? No doubt Cologne was laughing at her own quip there.
The action between the different characters and settings are very tight. It flowed very smoothly. Putting Mousse's disappearing act after the "result" really draws the reader on "how" he escaped. A mini-cliffhanger if you will.
Can't wait to read more. Don't stop! Oh, and... Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays. Good tidings and have a Happy New Year. :)
| Nemrut chapter 22 . 12/17/2010
You know that you now HAVE to write a sequel, right? or go another few hundred thousand words:D
Great chapter, Luna vs half-dead p-cahn got to be the battle of the century.
Cologne bringing in the drowned girl water was a move that I, by all means, SHOULD have seen coming, but just didn't and was pleasantly surprised. Loved the chapter and how it wrapped up.
I was curious on what Ranma's plan was in the first place, since, with all the armies coming, I was concerned that he found a way, somehow, to defeat all of them. THe actual plan is a lot better.
Great job man, love this story.