|Reviews for The Dark Lords of Nerima|
| oblivionknight7 chapter 6 . 7/17/2008
| M1daf chapter 6 . 7/17/2008
I enjoyed this latest chapter just as much as the rest. There's not really much else to say besides "thank you for writing it" and "I eagerly await more".
| Anonymous Void chapter 6 . 7/17/2008
Ah, the typical chaos of Nerima is music to my ears. Seems like things are going to heat up though, what with the Darkmistress making a personal appearance and Gosunkugi planning on alerting the Sailor Senshi. Knowing that guy's luck, the Senshi might mistake him for a youma.
Honestly, this was a spectacular piece of writting and I wait in anticipation for your next edition.
| Pusakuronu chapter 6 . 7/17/2008
Ah, another good chapter with much setup for the future. The Dark Kingdom gathering all evidence, analyzing it carefully, and drawing all the wrong conclusions, was cleverly done.
As usual, I see no problem with characterization. I'm somewhat surprised that the Darkmistress would want to deal with the problem personally, but she might just be overconfident.
I assume the big brawl was intended to introduce all the Nerima regulars to Beneda, as well as demonstrating their relative strengths and mindsets to her? It did so quite effectively.
Now, Gosunkugi Hikaru trying to contact the senshi is going to make things even more interesting. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
| The Last Z Fighter chapter 5 . 7/8/2008
I love this story. It's the most original I've truly seen in a long time in the Ranma section, then again I'm sort of new to it and know there are many hidden gems out there. I like how things are shapping up, but I can't help but feel sorry for Ryouga. I really just hope he doesn't get stabbed in the back towards the end. Beneda to me seems to slowly but surely changing how she views the others, but you manage to capture that alien mind-set rather well.
This was the best part of the chapter:
"What difference does it make? They want to kill her! She's not on their side anymore, whatever they're trying to do. I don't care what Cologne thinks about what the 'Dark Kingdom' is or what 'youma' are. I care about who Beneda is. And to me..." he hesitated, then went on with increased conviction. "To me, she's been a friend. And if anyone wants to hurt her, they're going to have to go through me first."
In the hallway outside, Beneda clenched her eyes tight. Stupid human... she thought weakly. Stupid, idiot humans. Why do you do things like this? Why can't you see that you'll just end up getting used?
That part got me, just those short paragraphs alone showed character development for the both of them. It seems Beneda really only has two destinations she can end up: Dusted or "Good"(Or rather, at least give up on something's. Unlike most fics she not really purely evil, but her goals put her at odds with humans) From this and the earlier chapter, I can see Beneda developing some human emotions, maybe she already had them to begin with but hidden?
Excellent work man, you better not abadon this one. ..Then again I'm not one to talk
| Rowan Seven chapter 5 . 7/1/2008
Heh, you weren't lying when you said that trouble would take on a whole new meaning for Ranma and Ryouga. They have the Dark Kingdom AND the Amazon nation after them, an untrustworthy ally, an even less trustworthy person they're trying to protect, and no idea what they're actually getting themselves into. Even with Ranma and Ryouga's sheer adaptability and perseverance, respectively, they might have bitten off more than they can chew here. You've done a spectacular job raising the ante with every chapter. You started off with something small that looked like it could be the beginning of an amusing action/comedy adventure, and – while the humor's still there – you've built the opening chapters up to what could be an epic prologue. And you still haven't reintroduced the Sailor Senshi back into the tale yet, either. I don't know where you plan on taking this story or how you plan on having Ranma and Ryouga resolve the situation they've fallen into (they're certainly in _way_ over their heads, though that hasn't stopped them before), but you have my compliments for doing so well setting so much up.
Anyway, I don't remember if I reviewed the previous chapter or not, but I really enjoyed it. You described the battle terrifically and even made the Houndmaster somewhat sympathetic at moments. The inclusion of the Tendo family into this story was also an interesting addition, and so far I've enjoyed Beneda's interactions with the rest of the Tendo household.
Regardless, Chapter 5 was another great chapter. The characterizations and dialogue are strong and compelling, and I particularly liked Ryouga's speech to Ranma about how he wanted to protect Beneda even if she'd been lying to him. I also like how virtually everyone's operating under misinformation. Beneda doesn't understand the human world, Nabiki's playing with things she has little real understanding of, Ranma and Ryouga are well-intentioned but largely clueless, the Dark Kingdom is completely misreading the situation, and even Cologne – by assuming the worst about Beneda – has made a few mistakes though she's probably the closest to the truth. Everyone has made misassumptions that if they were to have been cleared up they might _just_ have been able to extricate themselves from this predicament, but instead things are becoming more and more compounded and the point of no return has probably already passed. I don't know why, but for some reason I'm rather appreciating seeing practically everyone operating on a different page and with a different angle.
Moving on, the Amazon developments look like they're going to ratchet things up even more, and while Mousse sorely dislikes Ranma he's not a bad person so you have me wondering what his eventual relationship with Beneda will be - whether he'll continue to be a hidden foe or be "fooled" by her as well. I also imagine that the Dark Mistress isn't going to be too pleased by the elimination of two Black Section agents, and if she makes the mistake of gathering information from someone, say, like Kuno then the misassumptions are only going to get worse. Additionally, while I've said this before I think it warrants repeating; your decision to treat the youma as...maybe not human, per se, but living, thinking, feeling creatures in their own right really adds a distinctive flair to this story that I've rarely seen in Sailor Moon fanfiction. It makes me think twice about the almost "casual" destruction of youma and makes the battles feel more serious on both fronts. Please keep up the superb work.
| DarkStrider chapter 5 . 6/27/2008
Awesome :D I've occasionally seen the 'Ranma & Ryouga are dark villains' theme before, but this is excellently pulled off. I eagerly look forward to more :D
| hedatary chapter 5 . 6/6/2008
Its sad that you only do this once in a rare blue moon but you really gotta do more of this bro. Nice chapter by the way.
| Hinatafanboy chapter 5 . 5/28/2008
Another wonderful chapter I love it. I cant wait to see what more you add.
| dragontwister chapter 5 . 5/28/2008
Great chapter! I can't wait to read the next one! This is turning out to be very expansive.
| FantomoDrako chapter 5 . 5/26/2008
Interesting. Poor Ryouga, getting in over his head again.
I wanna see where this goes. Though I think you should have a scene with the Senshi next chapter.
| TranceSephiroth chapter 5 . 5/26/2008
Jesus man, I'm begging on bended knees for another chapter soon. I don't want to hurry you but I can wish can't I? GREAT story, 100/100 for originality in terms of the POV...LOVE it. great writing, great storytelling, great characterization even if a little too mercenary on nabiki's part, but who cares if it makes for a great story eh? keep it coming please, this fic is one of the few reasons I check the ranma section regularly. keep up the good work!
| Timmy811 chapter 5 . 5/24/2008
Brilliant chapter, absolutely brilliant.
| Angus MacSpon chapter 5 . 5/24/2008
Okay, this may be the most original R/SM story I've read in a very long time. It was an absolute joy to read. I'll look forward to more!
| DarkJackel chapter 5 . 5/23/2008
The Amazon touch was nice. I look forward to seeing how things will go from here. Also to seeing Beneda's reaction to full exposure to Nerima's weirdness.
Thanks for the fic.